Reese

It really pains me when two things that are mostly eaten together aren't perfect matches for each other. Why is Ham(Deli ham mostly) Bigger than the bread its put on. You can fold it over, but then you end up with half of the sandwich 2 slices of ham, and the other half 1 slice of ham. You can put 2 slices of ham, fold them both over and have 3 equal slices of ham on the bread, but we all know 3's a crowd and way to much for a light snack. If they are going to make it bigger, couldn't they at least make it twice as large so when its folder it covers the bread evenly. This is almost as bad as the hotdog/bun scenerio for me...

Slims

I think it is the result of poor ham-to-bread communication.

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cchris

Because on the seventh day GOD went surfing.

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Fly

simple solution here is.........bologna....

such shitty meat though.

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paddyjoe

Maybe time for a change of breads. Not all loaves were created equally. You need to shop around for something that possibly fits your ham slices better. You could even consider the bakery italian loaf, or even the popular kaiser roll. Remember, as Mr. Spock once said, "there are always alternatives".

One more thing. If you do resort to baloney, make sure to fry it first. Lard improves the taste of everything!

Reese

Bologna has a similar problem. Its round and bread is square :/

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shalafi

you could always try the perfect food. im speaking of course of penut butter and jelly. that fits any kind of bread you wanna use

Angel

Nature's Harvest Old Settler Wheat holds a slice of ham perfectly.
But yes, I get your dillema.
Bones hit the other one..hot dogs & buns.
Cheese slices are another...they are too small!

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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

uncle phil

ever try fried bologna, onions, and cheese on a bun for a hangover remedy? also, lebanon bologna (from southern pennsylvania) is great. so what if the meat doesn't fit perfectly; that's the fun part of sandwichery...

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We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

d4in

It's because the part that hangs over (ham) was meant to be torn off and eaten right away.....

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Giant Hamburger

Well hello there,

This thread unearthed an old math memory...
The Ham Sandwich Theorem:

Regardless of the distribution of ham and cheese in a sandwich, you can use one slice to divide the sandwich into two parts containing equal parts of bread, ham and cheese.

The general case of the Ham-Sandwich Theorem says that if we have n regions in n-dimensional space, then there is some hyperplane, which cuts each exactly in half, measured by volume.
The general proof is suggested by the argument in the two-dimensional case. There, for each possible direction s for the cut, we clearly have, for each region, a line in direction s bisecting that region. But the two lines for the two regions are offset by some distance d(s). We'd like to find a direction with d(s) = 0.
Note that, if we have rotate our direction by 180 degrees, we get back to the same pair of bisecting lines, but they now have the opposite orientation. Adopting the convention that the distance d between the lines is a signed quantity depending on the orientation, we see that d(s+180) = -d(s). Thus it is clear that d is neither always positive nor always negative. Since d is a continuous function, by the intermediate-value theorem it must achieve a value of 0 for some direction.
Thinking of the circle of directions as the unit circle in the plane, we might write -s instead of s+180 for the opposite direction. Thus we have a function d from the circle of directions to the real numbers, with the property that antipodal points map to negatives of each other: d(-s) = -d(s). Such a function must be zero somewhere.

*looks around*
Anyone still awake?
-GH

WhoaitsZ

dude! create your own piggy slaughterhouse, then tell the pigs "Thou shalt not let thy ass become bigger than this bread!"

that should do it!

vermin

Originally posted by d4in
I agree. The floppy hangover meat was intended to be nibbled as an appetizer before sandwich consumption proper commences. It can also be torn off manually and held aloft to make the pooch dance.

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apetaster

did someone just watch Spinal Tap?

I'm grateful that the delicious pigmeat is larger than most bread. Makes a simple ham and swiss sandwich look bountiful (if the bread was too big, the grip would be - where's the pig?)

SaltPork

You're using bread that is too small OR you're not dividing your ham properly in order to fit on the bread you're using. Take some engineering classes, it will help you with your ham sandwich making.

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crackpot

Um, to answer your question... because pigs are bigger than wheat. I guess.