Interrogation process
 

No really, go ahead. Ask me anything. About anything. I can take it! I am the end-all, be-all. Alpha and omega, baby! I know the answer to everything.

what is the square root of 27 naked elephants drinking wine coolers in a volks-wagon making an illegal left hand turn going the wrong way on a one way street in the middle of the desert in alaska during the summer at night in the year 1984 at 2:38am?

please post your work with your answer.

As all mathematelephants know, a square root is always the source of the vegetable multiplied by L7. We also know that the vegetable equivalent of 27 (or 3*3*3) is onion. While naked elephants are currently only an emerging field of mathematelephants, the concept of an extra length within the field, combined with the toxicity of fermenting grape juice (Assuming it's from france) combined with German engineering will give us the equation:

L7 * onion * world war II

An illegal left hand turn onto a one way street while going the wrong way is obviously in violation of Article Monkey, Pargraph Lion, Sentence 19 of the Geneva Convention, and is therefore a moot equation, therefore we get the equation:

L7 * onion * world war II * 0

Now, any mathematelephant worth his peppers knows that all equations that include 0 MUST equal the currnet number of pandas in the San Fransisco zoo, which is, of course, 2.3.

Now, seeing as I have several doctorates in the studies of geological formations, we can know that the Sahara desert will reach Alask in approximately eight-million years. In eight-million years, also, summer will be winter and night will be a knew stage of day known as "Might", because of a giant asteroid that Earth will have captured within its gravitational field, and which provides twice as much light as the moon (Therefore provided 2 lunar light units each night). Therefore our equation comes to:

2.3 / 8x10^6, * 3

I assume when you say 1984, you mean the 1984th year of the Messianic age, which we all know is a load of bullshit Freud made up in his failed attempts to come to understand the complexities of mathematelephants, and is therefore another moot point, therefore bringing the equation, once again, to 2.3. The final equation comes to:

2.3 * 2.38

Which, we all know, is equal to carrot.

What is a .3 draft?

A .3 draft is another name for a low carb beer - 30% the carbs, 30% the calories, 30% the taste.

How tall am I?

No, no, when lieing down.

At the waist, chest, head, ankle, or all of the above?

Peetster: At your tallest peak - your forehead - you are nearly 3 feet tall.

why is the angle of the dangle in direct proportion to the heat of the meat - provided - the mass of the ass is constant???

wow. that is very impressive, Memnoch. A+


so um... where do baby carrots come from?
<img src="http://personal.r2-d2.cz/kaminky/0014/Mr%20&%20Mrs%20Carrot.jpg">
please don't say the cabbage patch. ;)

OK, OK...

Smartass. :lol:

Why is it that I always find my keys in the last place I look?

Hanxter: This is because of the perfection with which I created the earth. All dangle angles, whether they be manmeat or a melting candle, have a degree of dangling that is the approximate heat of the meat minus 10 degrees fahrenheit. I might add that Fahrenheit is the correct use of measuring temperature - some quack came up with Celsius. He's in hell now.

Bernadette - I think you answered your own question with that picture.

Peetster - it's always in the last place you look because any man of god worth his salt knows that continuing to look after one finds a lost item is an invitiation to the devil as it is against my will to do so. You don't want to end up in hell with the guy who created the Celsius degree, do you?!

And here I thought that it's cause once I found it I stopped looking.

What color is my mind?

Here's one that's been plaguing me for some time now:

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

who let the dogs out?

Fremen - Indigo. Definitely indigo.

Fhqwhgads - Anton Szanzador LaVey. Duh. Everyone knows that.

Uncle Phil - I did! Those damn dogs kept barking "who's gonna let us out? who? who? who?" so I let them out. Now all I ever hear is their owner yelling over and over again "who let the dogs out? who? who? who?"

ok, smarty...why is there air?

Without air there wouldn't be airplanes, so how would we drive our boats in traffic?

Alrighty, I'll bite:
If a hen and a half can lay and egg and a half in a day and a half, how long will it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all of the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Tophat: As I understand it, grasshoppers don't have seeds, nor do dill pickles come from half an egg. A hen, however, can be said to have a wooden leg if the meat in its drumstick is too tough.

do you walk to school or carry your lunch?

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up a pussy's ass! Poor Sebastian, his Bachside was never the same!

the answer to my query being?

Well, I walked to lunch while carrying my backpack at school. Does that help?

Why ask about me? With or without omniscience, I'd have known that, silly!

funny - different, or funny - haha?

Funny - sick, definitely. If not, default on funny - different.

WheRe ArE teh UplAod cOdEz At, d00d?

If you had a funeral at night, would all the cars in the procession have to turn their lights off?

What have I got in my pocket?

I am curious, yellow?

t3h up104dz0rz c0d3z0rz r 4 t3h 41ph4 n 0m3g4 0n1y, d00d!

When you have a funeral at night, it only makes sense to drive with your high-beams on at all times.

You have one hand in your pocket. The other is hailing a taxi cab.

Never yellow. Sometimes blue. Always gray.

does one go to new york or by bus?

I've lost my sense of youthful optimism... do you know where I left it?

If I reverse the cam in my bike and accellerate to exactly 99.73584 miles per hour while wearing a duck suit and then throw the frammit valve into over vacum whilst briskly snapping over the n-space capicitor do you think I could travel back in time and arrive at the invention of the p-trap???