diddagirl

Got this in an email today and thought it was cute- and very fitting for this forum. Hope you like!


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.

2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.

3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA

1. Big Rock between you and B.C.

2. Ottawa who?

3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of the country.

4. Flames vs. Oilers.

5. Stamps vs. Eskies.

6. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.

7. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.

8. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN

1. You never run out of wheat.

2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.

3. Your province is really easy to draw.

4. You never have to worry about car roll-back if you have a standard transmission.

5. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.

6. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.

7. People will assume you live on a farm.

8. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property.

2. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government.

3. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.

4. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.

5. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.

6. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.

7. Because of your license plate, you are still friendly even when you cut someone off.

8. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO

1. You live in the centre of the universe.

2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.

3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.

4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You are the centre of the universe.

5. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

6. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC

1. Racism is socially acceptable.

2. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.

3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next.

4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

5. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%".



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK

1. One way or another, the government gets 98 per cent of your income.

2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.

3. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.

4. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston.

5. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.

6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

7. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.

8. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA

1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

2. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.

3. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.

4. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.

5. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge

2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.

3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".

4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.

5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.

6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave.

7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.

8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.

9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter.

10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND

1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.

2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss dead cod.

3. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.

4. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.

5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.

6. The workday is about two hours long.

7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines.

8. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

Ace_O_Spades

Interesting

Colour me stupid... but there's more than two bridges in vancouver

__________________
Feh.

DrateX

hehe, funny shit

bigbad

/Colours Ace_O_Spades stupid

Between Vancouver/North Van (actual Vancouvers) there's 2 bridges, all the rest are part of Greater Vancouver as a whole and don't count. Least that was the argument I put forth when I got this a coupla years ago hehe.


And in case any of you did not believe the Vancouver Starbucks joke:



is diagonally across the intersection from



on Robson street Each picture is taken from in front of the other Starbucks location!

splck

ok, what about the Knight street bridge, Oak street, Aurther Lange? They're bridges between Van proper and another municipality.
not trying to nit-pic...

__________________
nice line eh?

bigbad

As I said, there are other bridges in GREATER Vancouver, but in actual Vancouver, there are only the 2

splck

North Vancouver, West Vancouver and Vancouver are different municipalities.... Greater Vancouver

Burrard street bridge, Cambie street bridge, Granville street bridge...I count three

Nothing like a petty argument

__________________
nice line eh?

diddagirl

lol....nice pics big bad. That is crazy

__________________
"Is it so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived long in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done."
-Matthew Arnold

Ace_O_Spades

Amen

__________________
Feh.

canuckguy

good jokes in there, surprised no skeeter jokes for the poor people of manitoba.

shAzb0t

LOL good stuff - Yes, Ontario is the centre of the universe and we are better than all of you =D

Charlatan

Yes, Ontario is the centre of the Universe... and like a giant black hole we suck...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

neddy65

I live in New Brunswick and the gov't only got 97% of my income last year( I cheated) but at least my roads are good.............wait .......no they're not!

__________________
If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything?

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!

Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!

fastom

Haha, very good. I imagine you could hit more than 3 Starbucks if you had a flatter rock!

SinisterMotives

It could be worse. You could live in Oklahoma City, where a Walgreen's and an Eckerd's face off on every friggin' corner.