WarWagon

Howdy.

todd

My stolen lawn flamingo says hi too.

Fremen

His souless eyes freeze my innards.

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WarWagon

Why do you think we had to pull him off the streets? He was draining the souls of innocent bystanders, and carries them in his brown napsack.

bernadette

stealing is wrong.

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WarWagon

I didn't steal him, former suitemate with the penis shaved in his back hair stole him. I am merely acquiring hot goods.

bundy

but drunken stealing is hilarious!




i know a guy who is a klepto drunk, every saturday night for an entire month he'd be down the Oaks (for those who know Sydney), and without fail he'd suddenly grab a bar stool and sprint out the door.

now theres nothing funnier than watching some pissed idiot loping down the road with a bar stool under his arm, and three BIG maori bouncers chasing after him.

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Ohayo!!!

Fremen

I always wanted to steal a shopping cart as a kid and ride down the long hill in my old neighborhood.
Closest I came to that was a Radio Flyer red wagon.

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bernadette

<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/gaylandscaper.gif" width="200">

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WarWagon

What. The. Fuck.

Fremen

The lawn mowing queen!

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bundy

now that is the single funniest thing i've seen on this entire board.

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Ohayo!!!

Munku

Stealing leads to the dark side!

todd

the dark side leads to anger and fear

bundy

anger and fear leads to drug and alcohol abuse.

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Ohayo!!!

todd

alcohol abuse leads to empty pockets

WarWagon

My gnome will steal all the money from your pockets. You have to be careful with them, you know, small hands.

CinnamonGirl

That's just....creepy.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

WarWagon

Shhhhh

If he hears you, you may be next...

CinnamonGirl

What I MEANT to say was, oh, what a handsome little gnome. I'll make him some popcorn. *nods emphatically*

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

WarWagon

He says "Thats better." Don't ever let those chubby little legs and bulbous brown shoes give you a false sense of security. He's deceptively quick.

Ace_O_Spades

Hail Sgt. Gravy Pants

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Feh.

WarWagon

No gravy!

:::OshnSoul:::

lawn gnomes= dorky.

stolen lawn gnomes= cool.

SaltPork

Looks like he'd chew through your chest to get to the soft fleshy meat of your still beating heart. Only instead of eating it all at once he would work feverishly to keep you alive while he stripped off one tasty layer after another to feed his bloodlust.

Or maybe he's just saying "hi". I'm sure it's the former though.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

Astrocloud

Someone stole this guys lawn gnome and then traveled around the world with it -sending pictures back to the original owner from time to time. Garden Gnome at the Pyramids or near the Eifel Tower.

todd

I think WarWagon might be one of my favorite people on this forum. His gnome is quite the character.

Charlatan

We had a garden gnome that lived under a bush in our backyard... One day as my son was charging around the backyard with a metal bucket on his head. Sadly, when he inevitably tripped the garden gnome was broken...

He lay for a time, in peices beneath the bush he loved so. One morning the shards that we called The Gnome, were gone.

I like to believe that the garden fairies took it upon themselves to whisk him off to Avalon (that's so much more romantic than the dustbin reality).

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

fhqwhgads

I can't find my car keys, can someone check his sack?

And if they're not there, someone check that brown bag he's carrying...