Stolen Lawn Gnome says...
 

Howdy.

http://a0.cpimg.com/image/0A/94/3430...-00B00090-.jpg

My stolen lawn flamingo says hi too.

His souless eyes freeze my innards. http://www.chriscaffery.com/phpBB2/i...es/runaway.gif

Why do you think we had to pull him off the streets? He was draining the souls of innocent bystanders, and carries them in his brown napsack.

stealing is wrong.

I didn't steal him, former suitemate with the penis shaved in his back hair stole him. I am merely acquiring hot goods.

but drunken stealing is hilarious!




i know a guy who is a klepto drunk, every saturday night for an entire month he'd be down the Oaks (for those who know Sydney), and without fail he'd suddenly grab a bar stool and sprint out the door.

now theres nothing funnier than watching some pissed idiot loping down the road with a bar stool under his arm, and three BIG maori bouncers chasing after him.

I always wanted to steal a shopping cart as a kid and ride down the long hill in my old neighborhood.
Closest I came to that was a Radio Flyer red wagon.

<img src="http://photobucket.com/albums/1003/m0us33/gaylandscaper.gif" width="200">

What. The. Fuck.

The lawn mowing queen!

now that is the single funniest thing i've seen on this entire board.

Stealing leads to the dark side!

the dark side leads to anger and fear

anger and fear leads to drug and alcohol abuse.

alcohol abuse leads to empty pockets

My gnome will steal all the money from your pockets. You have to be careful with them, you know, small hands.

That's just....creepy.

Shhhhh

If he hears you, you may be next...

What I MEANT to say was, oh, what a handsome little gnome. I'll make him some popcorn. *nods emphatically*

He says "Thats better." Don't ever let those chubby little legs and bulbous brown shoes give you a false sense of security. He's deceptively quick.

Hail Sgt. Gravy Pants

No gravy!

lawn gnomes= dorky.

stolen lawn gnomes= cool.

Looks like he'd chew through your chest to get to the soft fleshy meat of your still beating heart. Only instead of eating it all at once he would work feverishly to keep you alive while he stripped off one tasty layer after another to feed his bloodlust.

Or maybe he's just saying "hi". I'm sure it's the former though.

Someone stole this guys lawn gnome and then traveled around the world with it -sending pictures back to the original owner from time to time. Garden Gnome at the Pyramids or near the Eifel Tower.

I think WarWagon might be one of my favorite people on this forum. His gnome is quite the character.

We had a garden gnome that lived under a bush in our backyard... One day as my son was charging around the backyard with a metal bucket on his head. Sadly, when he inevitably tripped the garden gnome was broken...

He lay for a time, in peices beneath the bush he loved so. One morning the shards that we called The Gnome, were gone.

I like to believe that the garden fairies took it upon themselves to whisk him off to Avalon (that's so much more romantic than the dustbin reality).

I can't find my car keys, can someone check his sack?

And if they're not there, someone check that brown bag he's carrying...