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Crack 05-12-2004 11:36 AM

Jerk Test
 
Click Here
to find out if you are a Ass-hole.
Did you laugh? Yes?
Then you are an Ass-hole.
Don't worry, you are in fine company, for I am an Ass-hole too... :(


Peetster 05-12-2004 11:46 AM

hmmm... I didn't even smile.

Crack 05-12-2004 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peetster
hmmm... I didn't even smile.
Congrats! You are not an Ass-hole! (I knew it all along)

Harloquin 05-12-2004 12:07 PM

I like the song..but no laugh or smile from me :(

Redgirl 05-12-2004 01:01 PM

I sort of chuckled at the creativity. Am I still an asshole?

Batman976 05-12-2004 01:12 PM

I didn't even smile either... Although I wasn't offended, does that make me an asshole?

Crack 05-12-2004 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Redgirl
I sort of chuckled at the creativity. Am I still an asshole?
a bit... :lol:

SixEdxMia 05-12-2004 01:17 PM

I paid retards to dance for me at the last wedding reception I went to. This made me feel nostalgic,am I an asshole?

sillygirl 05-12-2004 01:17 PM

<~~~ asshole

Redgirl 05-12-2004 01:36 PM

Originally posted by SixEdxMia
I paid retards to dance for me at the last wedding reception I went to. This made me feel nostalgic,am I an asshole?

Yep, think that qualifies you girlfriend. :thumbsup:

Nikilidstrom 05-12-2004 01:56 PM

I laughed at SixEdxMia paying retards to dance for her at a reception.

does that make me an asshole?

Lord Humungus 05-12-2004 02:13 PM

it brought me to tears.... how big of an asshole am I?

aarchaon 05-12-2004 05:26 PM

I didn't find it funny, but I should have. Does that make me an asshole?

Astrocloud 05-12-2004 05:34 PM

It was funnier when it had music.

Munku 05-12-2004 07:06 PM

No smiles. No chuckles. No laughs. That's just dumb to me.

queedo 05-12-2004 09:00 PM

Hell yes I'm a asshole

WarWagon 05-12-2004 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SixEdxMia
I paid retards to dance for me at the last wedding reception I went to. This made me feel nostalgic,am I an asshole?
Hell yea! As president, I'm going to send you an official membership card.

BTW, I laughed, then showed it to 4 people in the immediate vicinity.

Crack 05-12-2004 10:02 PM

Ass-hole song!


Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me,
About you,
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests,
About that special feelting we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver,
Maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon,
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe,
With a regular job.
I'm your average white,
Suburbanite slob.
I like football, and porno, and books about war.
I've got an average house,
With a nice hardwood floor.
My wife, and my job, my kids, and my car,
My feet on the table,
With a Cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough,
To keep a man like me interested,
Oh no, no way, uh uhh.
No I gotta go out and have fun,
At someone elses expense,
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah,

I drive really slow,
In the ultra fast lane,
while people, behind me, are going insane.

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets,
And I piss on the seats,
I walk around in the summer time,
Sayin' "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicaped spaces,
While handicaped People, make handicaped faces,

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a big fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song,
Ranting and raving and carring on,
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong.
NAAAHHHHH

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadaliac Eldarado Convertable,
Hot Pink!
With whale skin hub caps,
An all leather cow interior,
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby,
At 115 miles per hour,
Getting one mile per gallon,
Sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fasioned non-biodegradable styrafoam containers.
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers,
I'm gonna wipe my mouth in the American flag,
And then I'm gonna toss the styrafoam containers right out the side,
And there ain't a God damn thing anybody can do about it,
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why.
Two words, Nuclear Fucking Weapons OK.
Russia, Germany, Romania,
They can have all the democracy they want.
They can have a big democracy cake,
Walk right through the middle of Tienemen Square,
And it won't make a lick of difference,
Because we got the bombs OK!
John Wayne's not dead,
He's frozen.
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the duke.
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off,
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times,
That's how pissed off the duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the duke,
And John Desimeties,
And Lee Marvinhaugh
And Sam Beckinforth,
And a case of whiskey,
And drive down to Texas,
And,
(hey, Hey, You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song pal,
You know the whole time I thought I was that asshole,
And it turns out it was him,
What an Asshole

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A, SS, HO, LE
Everybody,
A, SS, HO, LE

I'm an asshole, and I'm Proud of it!

vermin 05-13-2004 08:42 AM

Link was extremely funny.

And reminded me of this line:

"But it also had a tragic beauty, like when a retarded kid falls off his bike into the La Brea Tar Pits."

Sion 05-13-2004 09:11 AM

"And John Desimeties,
And Lee Marvinhaugh
And Sam Beckinforth"


John Cassavetes
Lee Marvin
Sam Peckinpah

and yeah, I'm an asshole too.

kutulu 05-13-2004 09:43 AM

I was laughing as soon as I saw it. Since I was at work I couldn't hear the song and it was still funny as hell.

jobu 05-13-2004 11:21 AM

i'm an asshole

World's King 05-13-2004 11:25 AM

I'm still laughing.

cherriesue 05-13-2004 11:58 AM

not an asshole

Charlatan 05-13-2004 01:38 PM

not

cameroncrazy822 05-14-2004 07:21 AM

I am the biggest asshole alive... my eyes are watering from laughing so hard


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