ironchefkorea

Stole this thread from another forum. Figured there would be a good number of interesting responses from here.

Okay. So the zombie Apocalypse has occured and you're stranded, alone. You've woken up alone in your home, sunlight creeping through your blinds, and the earth is crawling with the undead, their numbers constantly growing. What do you do?

I'd pack every non-perishable food item in my house into my car and jet to a Wal-Mart. Stock up on guns, ammo, food, and other living supplies and head to the nearest military base.

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Redlemon

I got a copy of the Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas, but I haven't read it yet, so no plans yet. (Really, it exists. Look on Amazon.)

(Shouldn't this be in Nonsense, or at best, Paranoia?)

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sadistikdreams

Mmmmmyep. Thatls also probably what I'd do, but I don't have a car. I'd probably steal a schoolbus, or something. Stock up on shotguns and automatic weapons. I gotta gotta GOTTA find other people, though. I wouldn't last a week without human contact.

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The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

Elegant Holmes

I have only a limited supply of food, guns and ammo, but without other people I do not see the point. I think I'd start making phone calls to arrange for everyone I know to meet at a secure and convenient location. I'd hit a few stores on the way. I'd also stop by a liquor store.

Arc101

Get stoned, put a zombie mask on and join the party

VitaminH

Definitly try to commandere a truck with a snowplow blade or something of the sort on the front, so I can clear zombies outta the way.

Shotgun is a must as well. And Cheetohs. Definitly cheetohs.

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ChrisJericho

I would stock up on hand lotion, paper towels, and protect my hard drives at ALL costs !

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rockzilla

I'd loot myself some food and weaponry, hole myself up someplace upstairs (zombies can't climb stairs) and start working on my witty one-liners so I have something cool to say whenever I kill a zombie.

Arsenic7

I'd play some Fallout 2 and brush up on my post apocalyptic survival skills.

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Fremen

How do you find the nearest military base?

I know where the nearest prison is, so I guess I could use them.

Don't forget to get a gas tanker-truck while you're looting stuff.

FaderMonkey

I'd rather die at the hand of a zombie than go to a f##king Wal-Mart. I'll pick Target (sorry, I just really hate Wal-Marts).

After I stock up with as much as I can carry, I would act like a zombie and make my way to Washington DC and find Bush. If he's already a zombie I would beat the sh#t out of him. If he's not a zombie, I would act like one and beat the sh#t out of him. After that I would see if I could setup shop in the White House.

thejoker130

Hmmm since dead bodies float......

make some sort of a raft out of the undead and sail my way to a nice island in the florida keys

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WarWagon

Grab the aluminum bat, do a bit of a warmup, and start swinging! Nothing like a good 'ol fashion whoopin!

Arsenic7

So...is having sex with a zombie necrophilia...I mean they're dead...but they're LIVING dead, ya know.

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Soggybagel

Kill myself

FleaCircus

I'd get a chainsaw and go Bruce Campbell on those zombie bastards.

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Baldrick

Nice, I had no idea this book existed! Christmas shopping can now already be considered completed!

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glasscutter43

I guess you could just tear off a piece.

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Book 'em Danno

Frowning Budah

LOL. If I tried that with my luck I would run into WarWagon and he would whupp my ass.

high_way

one word and one word only


tank


fit lots of shit in it and no fucker will get in


done and done

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Impostor of the imposturous

twilightfoix

hmm, Remington 1100 shotgun, .50 Desert Eagle, and the M4A1 carbine assault rifle come to mind. probably also do some kind of. Family Guy thing and find a twinkie factory and start a town around it

Kush

I'd defiately have some fun with them first, before blasting the hell out of them with whatever i can get my hands on. If i'm getting nowhere, i'll just board up my house and survive on my garden and DVDs.

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Shokan

I'd watch George Romeno films and get tips.

Or maybe join a bad ass biker gang and raid all you people who try so hard to live with your morals in the way.

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Legalize it.

opackfan

I'd drive out to Bruce Campbells house, he'll know what to do!

charlesesl

I will travel back to China. Since I never heard of the term chinese zombies in my life, I shall assume that my people are immune to zombification.

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Dr. Viktor E. Frankl

ironchefkorea

you and me together, man. we could hole up in my dad's glass factory.

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If it wasn't for microsoft, if we lived in the middle east? Y'all wouldn't have no hands....

brandon11983

I'd eat brains with them... when in Rome...

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SERPENT7

My plan for surviving the zombie plague:
1) Fortify my home. I live on the second floor of my apartments, so all i have to do is unbolt my metal stairs, and i am safe.
2) Fill every available container with water. (Once services break down, you will be w/o fresh water.)
3) plant a garden on the roof. (Having something to eat beyond my current stockpile would be nice.)
4) Call all my friends cellphones and gather them to me. (Foraging on thier way. Also they all have skill sets that would be useful. One is nurse, her husband is a carpenter, another is a cop.)
Also, the zombie survival guide is to be ignored. It suggests that you keep moving, rather than hole up and stay put. This is the fastest way to get eaten. It is wrong, wrong, wrong on several other points as well, but i don't feel like going into it.

Sho Nuff

OMFG!! Being a huge fan of George Romero since a kid you have no idea how many zombie killing dreams Ive had in my life and how much mental space Ive wasted on this idea. But..

1) Motorcycle - fast, light, manuverable. Traffic will be fucked when people start to evacuate. A bike is more likely to get you through.

2) Dried rations and ammunition - Ammo is more important. If you run out of food but have guns, you can get food.

3) Drive to Jersey - This is the most dangerous part, but I have to pick up my lady. Besides, Ive been training her for this for years.

4) Drive to South Dakota - A buddy of mine has a ranch out there. Open, flat land. No surprises. Its a cattle farm so we can breed our own food and hold up as long as necessary.

5) Brewery - Theres one not to far from his farm. Get tanked and wait for it all to blow over.

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Astrocloud

I don't know... Is everyone a zombie or just a few of us?

Charlatan

Go to my well stocked bomb shelter and use the remote gun turret to shoot random Zombies.

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Jinn

This thread has gotten me to thinking...I think I need to buy a gun..

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Fire

I sell weapons for a living- and my friends and I compiled disaster SHTF plan after we saw how well the government did on katrina... so it would be a helluva product testing day......

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wolf

1. Call a conference call with Bruce Campbell, George Romero, and Sam Rami

2. Get a fortified truck and drive to best buy - stock up on great electronic and computer equipment

3. Drive across the street to target and stock up on food and water and sporting/camping equipment.

4. Drive to Canada and stop at L.L Bean on the way picking up remaining camping/sporting equipment as well as guns and ammo

5. Arrive in Northern Canada, where not too many people live. Set up a satellite radio to get updates. The wife and I lay back in some quiet cabin and chill out. Watching DVD's of the Sopranos.

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Pragma

You forgot to mention that you need to clean out the liquor store, wolf

Though sitting around with massive TVs, awesome computers, and a bunch of video games while the world falls apart would be fun

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m0rpheus

If it were to happen today? Bust down the stairs (I live on the second floor of an apartment) and wait for the fuckers to freeze. I live in Canada. It gets very cold here in December. Once they are nice and frozen its time for Mr and Mrs Zombies to meet Mr Axe-in-the-brain. Plus this will let me stockpile for the summer thaw where I'd have to pretty much hole up until next winter.

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