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Old 02-20-2004, 02:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Zombie Attack Contingency Plan

Stole this thread from another forum. Figured there would be a good number of interesting responses from here.

Okay. So the zombie Apocalypse has occured and you're stranded, alone. You've woken up alone in your home, sunlight creeping through your blinds, and the earth is crawling with the undead, their numbers constantly growing. What do you do?

I'd pack every non-perishable food item in my house into my car and jet to a Wal-Mart. Stock up on guns, ammo, food, and other living supplies and head to the nearest military base.
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Old 02-20-2004, 02:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: New England
I got a copy of the Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas, but I haven't read it yet, so no plans yet. (Really, it exists. Look on Amazon.)

(Shouldn't this be in Nonsense, or at best, Paranoia?)
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Old 02-20-2004, 02:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
lonely rolling star
 
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Location: Seattle.
Mmmmmyep. Thatls also probably what I'd do, but I don't have a car. I'd probably steal a schoolbus, or something. Stock up on shotguns and automatic weapons. I gotta gotta GOTTA find other people, though. I wouldn't last a week without human contact.
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Old 02-20-2004, 03:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: "TX"
I have only a limited supply of food, guns and ammo, but without other people I do not see the point. I think I'd start making phone calls to arrange for everyone I know to meet at a secure and convenient location. I'd hit a few stores on the way. I'd also stop by a liquor store.
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Old 02-20-2004, 03:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Nottingham, England
Get stoned, put a zombie mask on and join the party
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Old 02-20-2004, 04:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Pants
Definitly try to commandere a truck with a snowplow blade or something of the sort on the front, so I can clear zombies outta the way.

Shotgun is a must as well. And Cheetohs. Definitly cheetohs.
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Old 02-20-2004, 04:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
eat more fruit
 
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Location: Seattle
I would stock up on hand lotion, paper towels, and protect my hard drives at ALL costs !
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Old 02-20-2004, 05:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: The Kitchen
I'd loot myself some food and weaponry, hole myself up someplace upstairs (zombies can't climb stairs) and start working on my witty one-liners so I have something cool to say whenever I kill a zombie.
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Old 02-20-2004, 05:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Corvallis, OR.
I'd play some Fallout 2 and brush up on my post apocalyptic survival skills.
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Old 02-20-2004, 06:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much
 
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Location: left side of my couch, East Texas
How do you find the nearest military base?

I know where the nearest prison is, so I guess I could use them.

Don't forget to get a gas tanker-truck while you're looting stuff.
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Old 02-20-2004, 06:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Orlando, FL
Quote:
Originally posted by ironchefkorea
I'd pack every non-perishable food item in my house into my car and jet to a Wal-Mart. Stock up on guns, ammo, food, and other living supplies and head to the nearest military base.
I'd rather die at the hand of a zombie than go to a f##king Wal-Mart. I'll pick Target (sorry, I just really hate Wal-Marts).

Quote:
Originally posted by Arc101
Get stoned, put a zombie mask on and join the party
After I stock up with as much as I can carry, I would act like a zombie and make my way to Washington DC and find Bush. If he's already a zombie I would beat the sh#t out of him. If he's not a zombie, I would act like one and beat the sh#t out of him. After that I would see if I could setup shop in the White House.
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Old 02-20-2004, 06:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: slippery rock university AKA: The left ass cheek of the world
Hmmm since dead bodies float......

make some sort of a raft out of the undead and sail my way to a nice island in the florida keys
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Old 02-20-2004, 06:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
Loser
 
Grab the aluminum bat, do a bit of a warmup, and start swinging! Nothing like a good 'ol fashion whoopin!
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Old 02-20-2004, 06:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Corvallis, OR.
So...is having sex with a zombie necrophilia...I mean they're dead...but they're LIVING dead, ya know.
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Old 02-20-2004, 07:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Lovely City #1
Kill myself
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Old 02-20-2004, 07:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Denver, CO
I'd get a chainsaw and go Bruce Campbell on those zombie bastards.
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Old 02-20-2004, 07:59 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: Barrie, Ontario
Quote:
Originally posted by redlemon
I got a copy of the Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas, but I haven't read it yet, so no plans yet. (Really, it exists. Look on Amazon.)
Nice, I had no idea this book existed! Christmas shopping can now already be considered completed!
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Old 02-20-2004, 09:26 PM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Vancouver Island BC
Quote:
Originally posted by Arsenic7
So...is having sex with a zombie necrophilia...I mean they're dead...but they're LIVING dead, ya know.
I guess you could just tear off a piece.
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Old 02-21-2004, 08:28 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arc101
Get stoned, put a zombie mask on and join the party
LOL. If I tried that with my luck I would run into WarWagon and he would whupp my ass.
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Old 02-21-2004, 09:24 AM   #20 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Australia
one word and one word only


tank


fit lots of shit in it and no fucker will get in


done and done
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Old 02-21-2004, 10:00 AM   #21 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: in the clouds ;)
hmm, Remington 1100 shotgun, .50 Desert Eagle, and the M4A1 carbine assault rifle come to mind. probably also do some kind of. Family Guy thing and find a twinkie factory and start a town around it
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Old 02-21-2004, 10:56 AM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Ecosse.
I'd defiately have some fun with them first, before blasting the hell out of them with whatever i can get my hands on. If i'm getting nowhere, i'll just board up my house and survive on my garden and DVDs.
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Old 02-21-2004, 11:43 AM   #23 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Canada
I'd watch George Romeno films and get tips.

Or maybe join a bad ass biker gang and raid all you people who try so hard to live with your morals in the way.
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Old 02-21-2004, 01:44 PM   #24 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: St. Paul
I'd drive out to Bruce Campbells house, he'll know what to do!
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Old 02-21-2004, 06:01 PM   #25 (permalink)
Psycho
 
I will travel back to China. Since I never heard of the term chinese zombies in my life, I shall assume that my people are immune to zombification.
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Last edited by charlesesl; 02-21-2004 at 06:03 PM..
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Old 02-21-2004, 07:31 PM   #26 (permalink)
Insane
 
you and me together, man. we could hole up in my dad's glass factory.
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Old 02-21-2004, 08:13 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Location: Chitown!!
I'd eat brains with them... when in Rome...
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Old 11-27-2005, 12:44 PM   #28 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Gold country!
My plan for surviving the zombie plague:
1) Fortify my home. I live on the second floor of my apartments, so all i have to do is unbolt my metal stairs, and i am safe.
2) Fill every available container with water. (Once services break down, you will be w/o fresh water.)
3) plant a garden on the roof. (Having something to eat beyond my current stockpile would be nice.)
4) Call all my friends cellphones and gather them to me. (Foraging on thier way. Also they all have skill sets that would be useful. One is nurse, her husband is a carpenter, another is a cop.)
Also, the zombie survival guide is to be ignored. It suggests that you keep moving, rather than hole up and stay put. This is the fastest way to get eaten. It is wrong, wrong, wrong on several other points as well, but i don't feel like going into it.
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Old 11-28-2005, 03:21 AM   #29 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: Harlem
OMFG!! Being a huge fan of George Romero since a kid you have no idea how many zombie killing dreams Ive had in my life and how much mental space Ive wasted on this idea. But..

1) Motorcycle - fast, light, manuverable. Traffic will be fucked when people start to evacuate. A bike is more likely to get you through.

2) Dried rations and ammunition - Ammo is more important. If you run out of food but have guns, you can get food.

3) Drive to Jersey - This is the most dangerous part, but I have to pick up my lady. Besides, Ive been training her for this for years.

4) Drive to South Dakota - A buddy of mine has a ranch out there. Open, flat land. No surprises. Its a cattle farm so we can breed our own food and hold up as long as necessary.

5) Brewery - Theres one not to far from his farm. Get tanked and wait for it all to blow over.
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Old 11-29-2005, 07:57 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I don't know... Is everyone a zombie or just a few of us?
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Old 11-29-2005, 08:07 AM   #31 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
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Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
Go to my well stocked bomb shelter and use the remote gun turret to shoot random Zombies.
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Old 11-29-2005, 09:21 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Location: Seattle, WA
This thread has gotten me to thinking...I think I need to buy a gun..
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Old 11-29-2005, 10:07 PM   #33 (permalink)
Warrior Smith
 
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Location: missouri
I sell weapons for a living- and my friends and I compiled disaster SHTF plan after we saw how well the government did on katrina... so it would be a helluva product testing day......
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Old 11-30-2005, 10:11 AM   #34 (permalink)
Ravenous
 
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Location: Right Behind You
1. Call a conference call with Bruce Campbell, George Romero, and Sam Rami

2. Get a fortified truck and drive to best buy - stock up on great electronic and computer equipment

3. Drive across the street to target and stock up on food and water and sporting/camping equipment.

4. Drive to Canada and stop at L.L Bean on the way picking up remaining camping/sporting equipment as well as guns and ammo

5. Arrive in Northern Canada, where not too many people live. Set up a satellite radio to get updates. The wife and I lay back in some quiet cabin and chill out. Watching DVD's of the Sopranos.
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Old 11-30-2005, 11:01 AM   #35 (permalink)
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Location: Alexandria, VA
You forgot to mention that you need to clean out the liquor store, wolf

Though sitting around with massive TVs, awesome computers, and a bunch of video games while the world falls apart would be fun
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Old 12-01-2005, 06:26 PM   #36 (permalink)
bad craziness
 
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Location: Guelph, Ontario
If it were to happen today? Bust down the stairs (I live on the second floor of an apartment) and wait for the fuckers to freeze. I live in Canada. It gets very cold here in December. Once they are nice and frozen its time for Mr and Mrs Zombies to meet Mr Axe-in-the-brain. Plus this will let me stockpile for the summer thaw where I'd have to pretty much hole up until next winter.
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