bacon_masta

mcdonalds. since it's advent this century, more of these franchises have popped up all over the world than any other business. but why? the public doesn't know the truth, but i have some ideas. first of all, Ronald McDonald. who does he resemble that is white as a sheet, has slim hands, and likes kids way too much? give you a hint, he lives on the neverland ranch. that's right, michael jackson. and the hamburgler. he can't just be around to steal burgers, there's something sinister behind that mask. and why would he wear black and white if he hadn't already done at least a bice (prison slang for 2 years). he's more than he seems, and, from my observations, uses hamburger theft as a distraction to run his protection racket. now to the fry kids. they've gotta be the hired muscle, who know's what they're hiding under those pompoms? could be anything from a bat to a glock, and we'll never now. birdie runs messages, among other things (plutonium, drugs, sensitive information, viral weaponry) because she doesn't have to check in at customs, she's a friggin bird. and now to the ring leader: grimmace. i always thought that that big purple son of a bitch was more than the blob of jello he appears, he's the brains of the operation. trust me, mcdonald's couldn't make NEARLY as much money as it does if all it was selling was the crap they call food. any expansion, refute, or anger at my complete stupidity is welcome......yes, i'm a fucking mcslave

GlassHouse420

...........
o....k.... then...

*goes back to shuffling flash cards for no reason*

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notlivingjustkillingtime

Eviltree

It all makes sense now!

tecoyah

ooohhh...that just fries my nuggets. I grimace at your clowning around.

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Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

bacon_masta

lmao, tecoyah.......this'll really fry you.....i didn't even mention the experimentation with genetic nuggetation and viral burgery

uncle phil

/me waits for an appearance by GH...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

theguyondacouch

I thought that said viral buggery lol

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"Lick my frozen metal ass!"

moonstrucksoul

can i get a McJackson meal please?

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bacon_masta

sorry moonstruck, they don't sell prepubescent children...........YET.......

skier

The paranoia forum is one up from this one.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

monody

wow- that's quite the.... erm... mouthful?

typeful?

rantful!

__________________
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to explain the curious attractiveness of others.
-Oscar Wilde.

Fremen

I shall sully my lips with more Double-meat Quarter Pounders w/cheese than the Hamburglar can steal, and there's not a damn thing that over-poofed clown Ronny McD. can do about it!


Hmmm, bacon_masta + Giant Hamburger? Tasty combination?

I say yes!!

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xim

this should be in tilted paranoia

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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

Giant Hamburger

Hail Bacon_Masta!

You talk too much.

This guy has been asking about you.

I didn't tell him anything.

Be careful,
-GH

bacon_masta

this was originally posted in paranoia and was deemed nonsense by a mod

Tophat665

Hmmm, Always thought Ronald McDonald was a Melnibonean.

<big>Burgers and Fries for My Lord Arioch!!!!</big>

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

bacon_masta

i don't know if i'm just stupid or if i'm missing a joke of some kind, but what the hell is a melnibonean??

Tophat665

If you have to ask, it's probably not worth explaining. Nevertheless, Michael Moorcock, in addition to penning some of the songs that make Blue &Ouml;yster Cult a touchstone of cool, wrote quite a few books, many of them in the epic fantasy mode, and all revolving around various incarnations of the archtypical Champion Eternal who saves and damns the world. In the Elric of Melnibon&eacute; series it is the eponymous character who is the eternal champion. He is the emperor and the first of his race - the Melniboneans - to develop anything like a sense of morality or conscience. He's also an albino sorceror who's tutelary deity is Arioch, one of the lords of Chaos, to whom, through the gory offices of his sentient black broadsword, Stormbringer, he frequently offers "Blood and Souls for My Lord Arioch!", and an all around nintey caliber badass.

If you've read the books or were lucky enough to be enough into Dungons and Dragons at the right time to get one of the first editions of Dieties and Demigods, then all this means something to you. If not, it's all gibberish.

Still, RMcD could be a Melnibonean, and, if he is, that could well be the long pig in you QPC, and the Grimace could easily be a conjoured unspeakable on par with a shoggoth (to mix milieus.)

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

bacon_masta

you're right.......gibberish to me, but seems like an interesting series, i'll try to check it out

bernadette

<img src="http://www.oldfezziwig.com/hamburglar.jpg">

just ran across this jpg & thought of this thread.

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Macheath

There are character McDonalds doesn't want you to know about:

<img src="http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3808/hammurderer.jpg">

<a href="http://www.theonion.com/onion3808/hammurderer.html">The Hammurderer</a>

That ain't ketchup you know.

bacon_masta

that's exactly what i'm talking about!! wow, that kinda looks like my boss in an orange jumpsuit

Tophat665

The Hamburgler and the Shamrock Shake Hooker? Where's the Apple Pie Pimp or Pusher McFish?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

bacon_masta

pusher mcfish got put on ice, and the apple pie pimp got beaten by some ho's

Tophat665

And here I thought the Apple Pie Pimp was put away because those Pies were hot.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

it's simple...simon was the pieman...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

you forgot about the part about the burgers being laden with chemicals that will turn any member of the normal populas into a flesh eating McZombie with enough servings...

...its already struck japan.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

Tophat665

Japan: 86% of the world's weird shit since 1958.

I always thought the McRib sandwich cost an arm and a leg.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

this is a woman...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

SSJTWIZTA

McZombie burgers do not discriminate due to sex, uncle.

Sad, but true.

Eat enough, and you too will become a walking Ronald ZomDonald

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

BadNick

honey, I need some blood on my french fries