Darwin 2003!!! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Hanxter · 01-16-2004, 01:10 PM

Darwin Awards, 2003

Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for ... the Darwin Award 2003.
The candidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with The Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition again this year has been keen.

DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES

*In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

*In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

*Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

* According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville,
Delaware, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

* In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.

DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS

* In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull.

* In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cob webs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house.

* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP....

Tacoma, WA, Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.

"All I can say, " said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night." "There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER....

Paderborn, GERMANY,an overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant, Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. 'with no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.

phredgreen · 01-16-2004, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hanxter
*In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

strangely enough...

Quote:

as seen here:http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N09309601.htm

09 Jan 2004 22:09:28 GMT
Marijuana buzz linked to "runner's high" -US study
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Paul Simao

ATLANTA, Jan 9 (Reuters) - The same family of chemicals that produces a buzz in marijuana smokers may be responsible for "runner's high," the euphoric feeling that some people get when they exercise, U.S. researchers say...

(continued within the news story. click the link to read on)

coincidence?

merkerguitars · 01-16-2004, 01:26 PM

Omfg..some people.....

bonehed1 · 01-16-2004, 01:44 PM

that has to be the most hilarious stuff I have ever read

Redlemon · 01-16-2004, 01:57 PM

Pity that the winner is an urban legend, according to Snopes.

/spoilsport

o14real · 01-16-2004, 08:54 PM

Good stuff, wonder how much is true, but still good.

sillygirl · 01-16-2004, 09:41 PM

Hey, whether it's true or not, it still made me laugh!

blaze · 01-16-2004, 09:58 PM

I cannot believe what the guy from Selbyville did.

Derwood · 01-18-2004, 10:34 AM

The ROTC flak jacket incident happened about 6 or 7 years ago and keeps getting mentioned. Old news. Sadly, I knew the kid....

01-16-2004, 01:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hanxter The Griffin	Darwin 2003!!! Darwin Awards, 2003 Yes, it's the one we've all been waiting for ... the Darwin Award 2003. The candidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with The Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition again this year has been keen. DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor. * According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena was wearing. * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Delaware, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. * In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles. DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS * In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede with a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head, fracturing his skull. * In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out cob webs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his house. * Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed. RUNNER UP.... Tacoma, WA, Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say, " said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night." "There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located. AND THE WINNER.... Paderborn, GERMANY,an overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant, Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. 'with no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.

01-16-2004, 01:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
merkerguitars Buffering......... Location: Wisconsin...	Omfg..some people..... __________________ Donate now! Ask me How! Please use the search function it is your friend. Look at my mustang please feel free to comment! http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=26985

01-16-2004, 01:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
bonehed1 Psycho Location: California	that has to be the most hilarious stuff I have ever read __________________ Stuff is Good

01-16-2004, 01:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Pity that the winner is an urban legend, according to Snopes. /spoilsport __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

01-16-2004, 08:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
o14real Insane	Good stuff, wonder how much is true, but still good. __________________ You heard it too didn't you? the voice of the wind.

01-16-2004, 09:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Hey, whether it's true or not, it still made me laugh! __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

01-16-2004, 09:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
blaze Insane Location: In a van, down by the river	I cannot believe what the guy from Selbyville did.

01-18-2004, 10:34 AM	#9 (permalink)
Derwood Who You Crappin? Location: Everywhere and Nowhere	The ROTC flak jacket incident happened about 6 or 7 years ago and keeps getting mentioned. Old news. Sadly, I knew the kid.... __________________ "You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel