the last person to post in this thread wins take 2 - Page 201 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Ourcrazymodern? · 06-18-2011, 07:09 PM

My "center replacement stand" might need a new hinge.

uncle phil · 06-19-2011, 02:59 AM

uncle phil · 06-21-2011, 02:42 AM

uncle phil · 06-23-2011, 02:27 AM

uncle phil · 06-25-2011, 02:57 AM

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

Ourcrazymodern? · 06-25-2011, 09:29 AM

BadNick · 06-25-2011, 09:04 PM

uncle phil · 06-26-2011, 02:18 AM

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

BadNick · 06-26-2011, 08:03 PM

---------- Post added at 12:03 AM ---------- Previous post was Yesterday at 11:59 PM ----------

or

uncle phil · 06-27-2011, 02:34 AM

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

Ourcrazymodern? · 06-27-2011, 01:44 PM

When I shivered, he said, "That's too strong a reaction!"

I said, "I ain't got any."

uncle phil · 06-28-2011, 02:30 AM

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget...
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Ourcrazymodern? · 06-28-2011, 04:05 PM

Heh. I win again, uncle phil. I pee in the shower every time.

Fly · 06-29-2011, 12:09 PM

i second that....^^^^^^

uncle phil · 06-30-2011, 02:43 AM

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-01-2011, 02:36 PM

YouTube - ‪Look Back in Anger - David Bowie‬&rlm;

uncle phil · 07-02-2011, 02:02 AM

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do...
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do...
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo...

Fly · 07-02-2011, 06:19 AM

that's gotta be uncomfortable.........

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-02-2011, 08:59 AM

Ah, but I'm not, because I'm the current winner.

BadNick · 07-02-2011, 09:10 AM

me too, two?

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-02-2011, 09:30 AM

Hmm, that didn't last long, unlike the wait for you to hide.

BadNick · 07-02-2011, 09:49 AM

I know...I'm not being inspired yet. I may just have to go with the obvious.

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-02-2011, 03:57 PM

One man's obvious...win!

uncle phil · 07-03-2011, 02:05 AM

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-04-2011, 05:44 PM

uncle phil · 07-05-2011, 02:26 AM

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ...

Fly · 07-05-2011, 04:04 AM

boobs look kinda neat under water eh?

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-05-2011, 07:30 PM

uncle phil · 07-06-2011, 02:48 AM

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

BadNick · 07-06-2011, 06:54 PM

you guys still here?

uncle phil · 07-07-2011, 02:39 AM

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid...

uncle phil · 07-09-2011, 03:31 AM

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-10-2011, 11:17 AM

For the sake of your honor, I'll take this win.

uncle phil · 07-15-2011, 03:09 AM

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess...

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-16-2011, 06:32 PM

My nipples are prettier than hers, so I win.

uncle phil · 07-17-2011, 02:43 AM

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male...

Ourcrazymodern? · 07-17-2011, 06:13 AM

We're a queer species, aren't we? I win.

uncle phil · 07-18-2011, 02:33 AM

long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

today it's called golf...

Fly · 07-19-2011, 03:44 AM

‪Robin Willims - Golf (full version)‬&rlm; - YouTube

BadNick · 07-19-2011, 07:51 AM

06-18-2011, 07:09 PM	#8001 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	My "center replacement stand" might need a new hinge. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

06-19-2011, 02:59 AM	#8002 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	__________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-21-2011, 02:42 AM	#8003 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	__________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-23-2011, 02:27 AM	#8004 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	__________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-25-2011, 02:57 AM	#8005 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-25-2011, 09:29 AM	#8006 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	__________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

06-25-2011, 09:04 PM	#8007 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa

06-26-2011, 02:18 AM	#8008 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-26-2011, 08:03 PM	#8009 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	---------- Post added at 12:03 AM ---------- Previous post was Yesterday at 11:59 PM ---------- or

06-27-2011, 02:34 AM	#8010 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-27-2011, 01:44 PM	#8011 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	When I shivered, he said, "That's too strong a reaction!" I said, "I ain't got any." __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

06-28-2011, 02:30 AM	#8012 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget... ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-28-2011, 04:05 PM	#8013 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Heh. I win again, uncle phil. I pee in the shower every time. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

06-29-2011, 12:09 PM	#8014 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	i second that....^^^^^^ __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

06-30-2011, 02:43 AM	#8015 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	__________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-02-2011, 02:02 AM	#8017 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do... ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do... ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-02-2011, 06:19 AM	#8018 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	that's gotta be uncomfortable......... __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

07-02-2011, 08:59 AM	#8019 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Ah, but I'm not, because I'm the current winner. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-02-2011, 09:10 AM	#8020 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	me too, two?

07-02-2011, 09:30 AM	#8021 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Hmm, that didn't last long, unlike the wait for you to hide. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-02-2011, 09:49 AM	#8022 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	I know...I'm not being inspired yet. I may just have to go with the obvious.

07-02-2011, 03:57 PM	#8023 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	One man's obvious...win! __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-03-2011, 02:05 AM	#8024 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-04-2011, 05:44 PM	#8025 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	__________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-05-2011, 02:26 AM	#8026 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-05-2011, 04:04 AM	#8027 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	boobs look kinda neat under water eh? __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

07-05-2011, 07:30 PM	#8028 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Eh? __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-06-2011, 02:48 AM	#8029 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-06-2011, 06:54 PM	#8030 (permalink)
BadNick Riding the Ocean Spray Location: S.E. PA in U Sofa	you guys still here?

07-07-2011, 02:39 AM	#8031 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-09-2011, 03:31 AM	#8032 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-10-2011, 11:17 AM	#8033 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	For the sake of your honor, I'll take this win. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-15-2011, 03:09 AM	#8034 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

07-16-2011, 06:32 PM	#8035 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	My nipples are prettier than hers, so I win. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

07-17-2011, 02:43 AM	#8036 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.