uncle phil

Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
Tom Waits


hey charlie i'm pregnant
and living on the 9th street
right above a dirty bookstore
off euclid avenue
and i stopped takin dope
and i quit drinkin whiskey
and my old man plays the trombone
and works out at the track

and he says that he loves me
even though its not his baby
and he says that he'll raise him up
like he would his own son
and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday night.

and hey charlie i think about you
everytime i pass a fillin station
om account of all the grease
you used to wear in your hair
and i still have that record
of little anthony & the imperials
but someone stole my record player
now how do you like that?

hey charlie i almost went crazy
after mario got busted
so i went back to omaha to
live with my folks
but everyone i used to know
was either dead or in prison
so i came back to minneapolis
this time i think i'm gonna stay.

hey charlie i think i'm happy
for the first time since my accident
and i wish i had all the money
that we used to spend on dope
i'd buy me a used car lot
and i wouldn't sell any of em
i'd just drive a different car
every day, dependin on how
i feel

hey charlie for chrissakes
do you want to know the
truth of it?
i don't have a husband
he don't play the trombone
and i need to borrow money
to pay this lawyer
and charlie, hey
i'll be eligible for parole
come valentines day

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

uncle phil

Mistress for Christmas
AC/DC

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the day
I just can't wait till Christmas time
When I can grope you in the hay
(When I can roll you in the hay)

Easy come, easy go
Have a good time with lots of dough
Slippin' up high, slippin' down low
Love'm and leave'm on with the show

Listen, I like female form in minimum dress
Money to spend with a capital S
Get a date with the woman in red
Wanna be in heaven with three in a bed
(One of me in heaven...)

He got it, I want it
They got it, I can't have it
But I want it, but it don't matter
She got it, and I can't get it
I want a mistress for Christmas
I want a mistress for Christmas

(Ooh yeah, haha yeah
I want a mistress for Christmas
Come on)

Easy come, easy go
Slippin' high, slippin' low

(Yeah, aw right)

He got it, I want it
They got it, I can't have it
I want it, don't matter
She got it, and I can't get it -

Mistress
he got it, I want it
For Christmas
They got it, and I can't have it
Mistress
But I want it, it don't matter
For Christmas
She got it, and I can't get a

Mistress for Christmas

You know what I'm talkin' about
Mistress for Christmas
You gotta send me down
you gotta send me down
Mistress for Christmas
I want the woman in red
(I want a woman in the rear,)
with bow in my bed
(with a bottle of my beer)

Mistress for Christmas

I can hear you coming down my smoke stack
I wanna ride on your raindeer honey and ring the bells

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.