Things you should say to cops.... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

prosequence · 11-29-2003, 09:24 PM

My buddy and I were drinking the other night and thought of some pretty funny things to say to an officer when you get pulled over.... not quite as funny now, but ya know that happens when you drink.

Cop pulls you over roll down the window, look him straight in the eyes and say "These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along."

OR

Wiat till they tap on your window, that's when you tell them that this ones occupied, go to the next unlocked door.

So, what are some other suggestions?????

lyxo · 11-29-2003, 09:58 PM

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...hlight=asshole

Priceless.

bundy · 11-29-2003, 10:27 PM

i haven´t had a cunt all night drinkshtable...

Stare At The Sun · 11-29-2003, 11:12 PM

Talk in that early gangster voice...

"I didn't do nothing...seee...you'll have to show me that radar gun copper...you got nothing seee"

micah67 · 11-30-2003, 12:33 AM

You're not going to look in the trunk, are you?!?

cchris · 11-30-2003, 09:50 AM

Hold my beer while I find my license dickhead.

GakFace · 11-30-2003, 09:57 AM

"I wasn't speeding"
/me does Jedi Mind Trick

krwlz · 11-30-2003, 04:41 PM

Old one but... "Theres no blood in my alchohal ossifer"

Related to me by a friend, about a friend of his with a cargo van

"Go ahead, search my van. All you're gunna find is duct tape and lollipops..."

uncle phil · 11-30-2003, 04:53 PM

"but ossifer, i've only had one beer...about 18 times..."

KWSN · 11-30-2003, 06:03 PM

"sorry, i don't speak english"

SysteMatiC · 11-30-2003, 06:30 PM

LOL i gotta try the old jedi mind trick next time i get pulled over.

TerresqueÜ · 11-30-2003, 07:27 PM

Classic : When the cop says "Have you been drinking tonite son? Your eyes look bloodshot."

You respond with "Have you been eating donuts tonite? Your eyes look glazed."

When he taps on the window "Hey have a hit on this joint and grab a cold one!"

Batman976 · 11-30-2003, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UnlikedOne
Talk in that early gangster voice...

"I didn't do nothing...seee...you'll have to show me that radar gun copper...you got nothing seee"

"Son, do you know why we pulled you over?"
"Nyah cause I'm black see, that's right, NYAAAAH!"
"Stop talking like that!"
"Stop talking like what, Copper? Nyah. It's how I talk, see."

doubleaught · 11-30-2003, 11:12 PM

I always like the simple "How can I help you ocifer?"

Midnight_Son · 12-01-2003, 07:37 AM

Don't I pay your wages?
get me a glass of water!

neddy65 · 12-01-2003, 12:45 PM

When he asks if you know why he stopped you respond with " one of us should!"
OR
Call him Officer Double Double and ask where Sgt. Honeyglaze is?

11-29-2003, 09:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
prosequence Psycho Location: YOUR MOM!!	Things you should say to cops.... My buddy and I were drinking the other night and thought of some pretty funny things to say to an officer when you get pulled over.... not quite as funny now, but ya know that happens when you drink. Cop pulls you over roll down the window, look him straight in the eyes and say "These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along." OR Wiat till they tap on your window, that's when you tell them that this ones occupied, go to the next unlocked door. So, what are some other suggestions????? __________________ And now here I stand because of you, Mister Anderson, because of you I'm no longer an agent of the system, because of you I've changed...

11-29-2003, 10:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	i haven´t had a cunt all night drinkshtable... __________________ Ohayo!!!

11-30-2003, 12:33 AM	#5 (permalink)
micah67 Thor Location: 33:08:12N 117:10:23W	You're not going to look in the trunk, are you?!? __________________ ~micah

11-30-2003, 09:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Hold my beer while I find my license dickhead. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

11-30-2003, 09:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
GakFace Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!! Location: IN, USA	"I wasn't speeding" /me does Jedi Mind Trick __________________ RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

11-29-2003, 09:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
lyxo Crazy	http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...hlight=asshole Priceless.

11-29-2003, 11:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Talk in that early gangster voice... "I didn't do nothing...seee...you'll have to show me that radar gun copper...you got nothing seee"

11-30-2003, 04:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	Old one but... "Theres no blood in my alchohal ossifer" Related to me by a friend, about a friend of his with a cargo van "Go ahead, search my van. All you're gunna find is duct tape and lollipops..." Last edited by krwlz; 11-30-2003 at 08:55 PM..

11-30-2003, 04:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	"but ossifer, i've only had one beer...about 18 times..." __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

11-30-2003, 06:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
KWSN green	"sorry, i don't speak english" __________________ Your arms are broken!

11-30-2003, 06:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
SysteMatiC Insane Location: unfortunately not ireland	LOL i gotta try the old jedi mind trick next time i get pulled over. __________________ I have more respect for a man who says what he means, even if he is wrong, then one who acts like an angel, but is nothing but a devil.

11-30-2003, 07:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Classic : When the cop says "Have you been drinking tonite son? Your eyes look bloodshot." You respond with "Have you been eating donuts tonite? Your eyes look glazed." When he taps on the window "Hey have a hit on this joint and grab a cold one!" __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

11-30-2003, 11:12 PM	#14 (permalink)
doubleaught Psycho Location: OMFG BRB	I always like the simple "How can I help you ocifer?"

12-01-2003, 07:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
Midnight_Son The Cover Doesn't Match The Book Location: in a van down by the river	Don't I pay your wages? get me a glass of water! __________________ SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority.

12-01-2003, 12:45 PM	#16 (permalink)
neddy65 Loves green eggs and ham Location: I'm just sittin' here watching the world go round and round	When he asks if you know why he stopped you respond with " one of us should!" OR Call him Officer Double Double and ask where Sgt. Honeyglaze is? __________________ If you're travelling at the speed of light, and you turn the headlights on, do they do anything? My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die! Drink Dickens' Hard Cider because nothing makes a girl smile like a Hard DIckens' Cider!