Things you should say to cops....
 

My buddy and I were drinking the other night and thought of some pretty funny things to say to an officer when you get pulled over.... not quite as funny now, but ya know that happens when you drink.

Cop pulls you over roll down the window, look him straight in the eyes and say "These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along."

OR

Wiat till they tap on your window, that's when you tell them that this ones occupied, go to the next unlocked door.

So, what are some other suggestions?????

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...hlight=asshole

Priceless.

i haven´t had a cunt all night drinkshtable...

Talk in that early gangster voice...

"I didn't do nothing...seee...you'll have to show me that radar gun copper...you got nothing seee" :)

You're not going to look in the trunk, are you?!?

Hold my beer while I find my license dickhead.

"I wasn't speeding"
/me does Jedi Mind Trick

Old one but... "Theres no blood in my alchohal ossifer"

Related to me by a friend, about a friend of his with a cargo van

"Go ahead, search my van. All you're gunna find is duct tape and lollipops..."

"but ossifer, i've only had one beer...about 18 times..."

"sorry, i don't speak english"

LOL i gotta try the old jedi mind trick next time i get pulled over.

Classic : When the cop says "Have you been drinking tonite son? Your eyes look bloodshot."

You respond with "Have you been eating donuts tonite? Your eyes look glazed."

When he taps on the window "Hey have a hit on this joint and grab a cold one!"

"Son, do you know why we pulled you over?"
"Nyah cause I'm black see, that's right, NYAAAAH!"
"Stop talking like that!"
"Stop talking like what, Copper? Nyah. It's how I talk, see."

I always like the simple "How can I help you ocifer?"

Don't I pay your wages?
get me a glass of water!

When he asks if you know why he stopped you respond with " one of us should!"
OR
Call him Officer Double Double and ask where Sgt. Honeyglaze is?