Tophat665

Actually Bernadette, The rain in spain falls about equally on the plain and on the fancy.

Spanish is a Romance Language.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

pedro padilla

no, actually it´s pretty raunchy if you know it well. me cago en dios.


there is no god. there is bush.

OpieCunningham

there is a god. he lit the bush on fire and it turned into ash

1 + 1 = 2

Tophat665

OpieC, that's only a special case where each 1 is in the same line. If there is any angle between them other than Pi radians, 1+1 < 2.

The universe is a big place. Possibly the biggest.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Fly

sorry Top.........the mind is a bigger place than the universe........possibly the biggest.


crabs taste sweet cooked in sugar water.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

uncle phil

fly, we need to get you over to the "best" coast, where you'll find that crabs taste their sweetest when steamed with a little "old bay" and vinegar...


sum means "i am" in latin...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

balderdash111

No, "sum" means "sum" in Latin.

If you release an object in a gravity-influenced environment, it will fall if it is not otherwise restrained.

__________________
A little silliness now and then is cherished by the wisest men. -- Willy Wonka

Averett

What if it's a bird? Huh? HUH???? Then it would FLY!

A small piece of cheesecake on a stick dipped in chocolate is the best thing man ever invented.

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

uncle phil

averett, frank has obviously never been on the outside of a maryland crab cake...


needles have sharp, pointy ends...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

onewolf

According to my calipers, the "sharp, pointy end" of a needle actually measures somewhere around 8 micrometers. Thus to any organism smaller than 8 micrometers, this surface is far from pointy and in fact can make a decent dance floor.

There is strength in a union.

uncle phil

ha, not if you ever married mickey rooney...


ball park franks plump when you cook 'em...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

OzOz

No, good ol' "Ball Park" Frank is one of the skinniest people I know, and he wouldn't fit into my microwave.

If you shoot a nuke down a bug hole, you get a lot of dead bugs.

BlitzkriegKommt

WTF? CHRIST ALMIGHTY, don't you know that the bugs mutate into even larger bugs when subjected to radiation. AAAAGHHH.
:ahem:

There is no one that can run faster than a fired bullet.

CityOfAngels

Helllooooo bullets can't run.

LeBron James was the #1 NBA Rookie Draft Pick of the 2003-2004 NBA season.

__________________
The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.

OzOz

Bullets don't run.

The TFP is not a figment of my imagination.

CityOfAngels

Hey don't forget about mine! I was first!

__________________
The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.

DJLaurieB

Actually, until he actually played his 1st NBA game, I don't think he can truly be considered a "rookie" - until he was actually picked, he was still an "ex-college star"........... or some such nonsense. semantics, semantics............

Yuengling is the oldest brewery in America, founded in 1829.

OzOz

Ahhhhhhhhh, the old "America" trick... If you said "... in the United States of America...", fair enough, but there's more to America than America. Don't forget your Canadian friends up North, who also inhabit a large slice of North America - and say hello to those Canadians in Halifax, Nova Scotia, home to Keith's Brewery, established in 1820 and still brewing.

And CityOfAngels, indeed you were! I was too slow in hitting the "Post Quick Reply" button.

Next: I'm an Aussie, and here we drive on the left. My undeniable statement: when visiting the US, it is a good idea to remember to drive on the right!

uncle phil

oz, not if you have a death wish...


rock and roll will never die...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

MiSo

the definition of die: pass from physical life and lose all all bodily attributes
rock and roll does not have a physical body so your sentence makes no sense.


pengiuns are birds that cannot fly in the air.

uncle phil

nonononono...penguins are birds that cannot fly in the WATER!


the female counterpart of patrick is patricia...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Brooke

The female coutnerpart to Patrick is Petrina.

A chocolate cake can not be baked without a baker - as in one who bakes the cake.

__________________
And so its over
Your fantasy life is finally at an end
And the world above is still a brutal place
And the story will start again

uncle phil

yo, brooke, i'm not a baker and just the other day i bought one of those refrigerated thingies, popped it in the microwave, and, badda-bing...chocolate cake...


the original "anvil chorus" was played on...anvils...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Grancey

The original "anvil chorus" was played on a Wednesday.


April is the cruellest month.

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

uncle phil

oh Grancy, dear Grancey, when will you ever learn...April is the "Foolest" month...


doughnuts have a hole in the middle...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Zephyr66

No, Holes have doughnuts outside of them, jeez.

Today is Monday

Charlatan

You are so wrong... today is Tuesday... really!

These pants make my butt look fat.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Averett

Oh Charlatan dear you couldn't be more wrong. Those pants make your butt look FABULOUS!


Soylent green is made of PEOPLE!

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

uncle phil

frank, we've gotta talk...your misconceptions are so misconstrued...a CROWD is made of people!


water consists of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Charlatan

phil! Have you been smoking flyman's stash... you are wrong! water is made of melted ice!

My leg hurts where I was hit last night.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

CityOfAngels

uncle phil: You are WRONG! That is a water molecule. Actual water consists of many many MANY water molecules, which would mean there is a lot more than two hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom.

Bill Gates has more money than all of us combined.

__________________
The words "love" and "life" go together. It is almost as if they are one. You must love to live, and you must live to love, or you have never lived nor loved at all.

uncle phil

CoA, you are the master of understatement...mr. gates has more money than god...

speaking of...for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Xell101

Then where have all the flowers gone, Mr. Uncle Phil? If that were true, there would be more flowers now than the could be contained on earth, and we would have more flowers than we currently do. You are false due to lack of overwhelming flower content.

I will or will not be tommorow.

Grancey

That's impossible Xell101. Have you forgotten again? Tomorrow is always a day away..........

The clock is ticking.....

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

Suave

No it's not. Mine's digital.

Apple pie has apples in it.

__________________
"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

Astrocloud

No, it's all sugar.

An orgasm is like a sneeze from the hips.

Charlatan

No... you have it backwards... a sneeze is like an orgasm for the face.

Thanks to my daughter I have seen Beauty and the Beast way too many times...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Suave

You can never see Beauty and the Beast too many times.

Sean Connery was the best James Bond.

__________________
"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

uncle phil

heh...sean connery still IS the best James Bond...


Niagara falls...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fremen

Nah, you're wrong.
Last year a shipment of Viagra fell into the Niagra, and you shoulda seen it shoot upwards. Old Faithful woulda been jealous.

Dynamite in a handbag is bad.

__________________
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