uncle phil

joe, you poor, misguided individual...boys have fun, girls have to sit at home and wait for the boys to tell them about it...


conifers grow seed pods called "cones..."

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Average_Joe

I beg your pardon, but my Christmas tree is a plastic conifer and doesn't grow anything.

The key to knowledge is awareness...

__________________
I think I'll procrastinate......in a little while.

Tophat665

No no no no no,
The key to knowlege is knowlege itself. Awareness is just icing on the cake.

By definition, half the people you know are below average.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

uncle phil

top, your definition covers a relatively small segment of the population...up here, three-quarters of the people i know are below average...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Bentley Little

where's the new phrase? oh well, i will prove "up here, three-quarters of the people i know are below average..." wrong.

someone else may know those 3/4 as above average.

Watching too much tv can turn you into a vegetable.

__________________
That is my 2 cents.

uncle phil

(my bad, little bent one...was having one of my "days" yesterday...)

ok...BZZZZZZZZZ!!! (or is it GONGGGGG)...watching any tv, especially sunday mornings, can make anyone a vegetable.


the '54 buick roadmaster had 4 portholes on each side...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Bentley Little

Actually since the 54 buick roadmaster was a car, not a boat, it would only have doors, one on the starboard and one on the port side.

Mentos is the freshmaker.

__________________
That is my 2 cents.

unoaman

Bently, Bently, Bently, it's obvious that you have never driven a 54 Buck Roadmaster...it did have wheels, but it was a "boat"...trust me on that. Actually it did have four holes in the front fender, on each side...hence the nickname "4 hole buick".

---------------

John Henry was a steel drivin man.

uncle phil

au contraire, mon frere, john henry was a johnson...


applesauce is made from apples...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

unoaman

This baby was invented in April 2003, and has 47 pages of posts...way too good to let sit around any longer. As usual, I have to do it all, so heres a bump for the old bitch.

...uncle phil...thats a damn hard one to deny, can you make sauce with hedge apples also?



nobody doesn't like boobs...

uncle phil

nonononono...nobody doesn't like sara lee (like as in the jingle?)


peach fuzz is only found on peaches...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fly

sorry phil my man........(17 year old dudes who think they got 'staches.......)


mustache rides cost only a wooden nickel.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

bernadette

bah. you can't buy anything with a wooden nickel once the fair is over.

the fair moved to the next town.
the carnie at the fair is smoking crack & trying to pick up on your daughter.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

CoachAlan

Hah! I don't even have a daughter.

But I do have a very reliable Toyota Corolla.

__________________
"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

Charlatan

What are you talking about... Toyota Corolla's are NOT reliable... at all.

That's it... I'm off to the cottage for the weekend.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

unoaman

Probably not...probably off in search of flymans daughter, heard he was going to drive CoachAlan's Toyota...

Cottage cheese never spoils, it's already spoiled...

thubpt

Sorry, unoaman, but - judging from the mold on the top of the container of cottage cheese in my fridge, I'd have to say it definitely spoils some more



Sprint has horrible coverage in NC.

__________________
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

--Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

uncle phil

oh, BOLSHOI!!! Sprint has horrible coverage everywhere...


one can't escape gravity...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

bernadette

uncle phil, go to the moon!

<small>maybe there is some small degree of gravity there, i'm not sure, but there certainly isn't much! (if any. i'm guessing there must be some small amt, but certainly not like what we're accustomed to on our rock.
<b>float uncle phil! float!!!</b>)</small>



the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Averett

Oh bernadette, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong. The grass is kind of brown on the other side of the fence. They don't water their lawn.




Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Giant Hamburger

Averett, you are as sweet as you are wrong.

Absence is followed closely by madness and if your lucky, death soon after that.

Am I wrong?

JumpinJesus

Oh, Giant Hamburger...if you only knew how dramatically misinformed you are. Death comes first, then madness. Absence never even makes an appearance, I'm afraid.

Popeye was a sailor man.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

bernadette

the sailor suit is just a fashion statement.
although the truth has been well covered up all these years, <b>Popeye is a butch lesbian</b>.
but it's still entirely true, olive oil is <strike>his</strike> her lover.

pictures don't lie...
<img src="http://www.math.pitt.edu/~bard/bardware/popeye/popeye4.gif">


elton john is also a lesbian.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

unoaman

Bernadette, while that may well be true, from reports received here at wronginfo central it doesn't appear that he cares much for the ladies. On the other hand you speaking with such authority on the subject would lead one to believe you possible have firsthand knowledge of the type of tree Elton might swing from...

The square root of 4,985,003.,172,886 is still a pretty damn big number.

Tophat665

Actually, the square root of 4,985,003.,172,886 is not a number at all, since 4,985,003.,172,886 is a text value, not a number itself. Now, the square root of 4,985,003,172,886 is 2,232,712.067, which is not all that big a number, but a million here and a million there and pretty soon it adds up to real money. And the square root of 4,985,003.172886 is only 2,232.712067, which really isn't all that big a number by almost any standard (other than the "Rats in my Kitchen" standard. Of course, by that standard, any number greater than 0 is relatively large.)

Actually, it just occurred to me that all of the points I made above are just nitpicking. There is no single square root of any number, but rather a positive and a negative square of any positive number, so that the square root of 4 is not merely 2 but also -2, meaning that the square root of 4,985,003.,172,886, however it is parsed to function as a number would be both a relatively large and a relatively small number.

There are no integral solutions to x^{<small>n</small>} + y^{<small>n</small>} = z^{<small>n</small>} where <i>n</i> &gt; 2.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

JumpinJesus

tophat, you couldn't be more wrong. As long as x=z and y=0, then it can work.

Starship built this city on rock and roll.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

anitra

JumpinJesus...hope this doesn't damage a great thread, but I can find no way to dispute your statement. Unless of course like Top665, one wants to get picky and say "which city".

Marconi plays the mamba

__________________
i'm a monkey just swingin through the trees

uncle phil

au contraire, mon frere...marconi played the radio...


my wife is married to me...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

anitra

so you say ...

... red sky in morning ... sailors take warning ...

__________________
i'm a monkey just swingin through the trees

uncle phil

nonononono...it's red sky at night...sailors delight...


on a clear day you can see forever...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Mavric98

you wrong. On a clear day you wont see the word "forever"


black is black

__________________
"Hope is for people that don't stand a chance."

unoaman

Ahhh, my favorite... a smart ass.

As unusual as it may be, Ihave to side with uncle phil on this one. He said 'on a clear day you can see forever'. I believe the key word here is 'can'. It sounds like you are saying that the word 'forever' simply won't appear on clear days. ie...'mom how do you spell the word forever...doesn't matter little Freddy, because it's clear outside, and you won't be able to see it anyway.'

Now to yours. Instead of going into a long tale of drivel, and woe about the color spectrum, I'll give you that yes, it does appear on the surface at least that 'black is black'.......But you in turn have to give me that BLUE IS ON BLUE.


All bark, and no bite...

uncle phil

[All bark, and no bite...]

???

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

unoaman

What U.P., you didn't like that one, or too hard for you? LMAO

Ok, how bout...

Men sweat, women perspire...

uncle phil

au contrere, mon frere...horses sweat, men perspire, women glow...(i think dorothy thompson wrote that loooong ago...)


a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...


in re: all bark, no bite; the idea is to state a seemingly irrefutable truth...the next person has to refute it...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

unoaman

Not to be arguementative, but as far as I'm concernned "all bark, and no bite"...is hand-me-down folklore just as "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" is.

BUT as artelevision has informed me, I have already been more trouble than necessary...

I suppose the standard answer to that would be to ask if one would rather have a bird in his hand, or have two hands in a "bush".


Oh yeah...what about, Ralph Ellison wrote "Flying Home" (and other stories)

bernadette

O_o

i bet he didn't write any stories. instead he used a type writer.


she wore teensy weensy yellow polka dot bikini for the first time today.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

uncle phil

uh, bernie? wrongomundo, sweetheart...she wore it the first time when she tried it on at wal-mart...


the Electric Prunes had too much to dream last night...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fly

phil!!!!!


the electric prunes had the shits all night man!


they were dreamin' about solid food at that time eh.








pigs like to wrestle in sleeper jammies designed by uncle phil.

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

unoaman

Yep, and those farm animals that go "oink" do too...


Uncle Phil really prefers farm animals anyway.