UNless you are paying with thousand dollar bills

Death is the End, Unless there is more

sorry tecoyah............always more...........just buzzin' through this trip in the vehicle of my body...........next journey is as a rubber glove!

.......i know,i know.....gotta take the good with the bad eh!!!!


that's what it's all about though isn't it?........











cherries are the pits.

fly...what is wrong wit choo...la brea is the pits...


those little, indented thingees on golf balls are called "dimples..." (don't ask me why...)

phil my man..........sheesh.......dimples are what the pretty women with character have on their faces man...not a freakin' golf ball.





the magic stick is the 5 iron.....

your dick is the magic stick


he who replies to this is a genius

i am about one-half a brick shy of a load...i'll admit that...


fly won't reply to this post..

sorry phil bud..........reply i did.



phil won't reply to this post.

back atcha...


doobies are held together by paper...

sorry phil.........doobies are held together by love and understanding.

i love that tune china grove.


uncle phil is a maestro.

fly, you are wronger than wrong...me is a UNCLE...


suzy creamcheese doesn't know what's got into her...

I think by now, Suzy Cream Cheese has figured out that Frank Zappa is what got into her.

In order to have a real county, at the very least you have to have an airline and a beer.

sure she does...........freakin' creamcheese man........

(that was an easy one.........)


phil's not sure if he should use *a* or *an* previous to word that starts with a vowel.







*edit...too slow today*





wrong there tophat........an airline and a CASE of beer is needed.


there are 12 bottles in a case of beer.

Fly,
I'm sure you tell that to everyone, and that the roughly 12 bottles worth of empty space in the case is due to settling during shipping. (I do the same thing.)

Budweiser is only good for filling radiators.

top, whassa matta u...budweiser is also good for cleaning brake drums, ridding one's self of toe jam...stripping wax off floors...the list goes on and on and on...


google is a search engine...

Phil, Google is so much more than a search engine, it is also the business pundit's flavor of the month. (and 10^100 to boot).

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

not if you knew my husband........

(just kidding honey, I love you ;) )

where there's smoke, there's fire.

Where there's smoke, there's Flyman.

Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

Wrong! Snakes don't wear vests because of the dictates of "serpent coture".

The birds aren't singing, they're screaming (fear of heights).

vermin, you couldn't be any wronger...the birds are singing because they spy you in an open field and in about 7 nanoseconds you're lunch...


strawberrys are red...

if you throw strawberries jpgs into photoshop, you will see that they are largly margenta with some small degree of cyan & yellow & black.

to the naked eye in real life, the strawberry is not a pure shade of red either.
sure, there is a good amount of red in the color of a strawberry, but it's not purely red. in fact slice one in two... you'll see shades of pink & plenty of whites. maybe even a bit of green & yellow.


<b>the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain.</b>

Actually Bernadette, The rain in spain falls about equally on the plain and on the fancy.

Spanish is a Romance Language.

no, actually it´s pretty raunchy if you know it well. me cago en dios.


there is no god. there is bush.

there is a god. he lit the bush on fire and it turned into ash

1 + 1 = 2

OpieC, that's only a special case where each 1 is in the same line. If there is any angle between them other than Pi radians, 1+1 &lt; 2.

The universe is a big place. Possibly the biggest.

sorry Top.........the mind is a bigger place than the universe........possibly the biggest.


crabs taste sweet cooked in sugar water.

fly, we need to get you over to the "best" coast, where you'll find that crabs taste their sweetest when steamed with a little "old bay" and vinegar...


sum means "i am" in latin...

No, "sum" means "sum" in Latin.

If you release an object in a gravity-influenced environment, it will fall if it is not otherwise restrained.

What if it's a bird? Huh? HUH???? Then it would FLY!

A small piece of cheesecake on a stick dipped in chocolate is the best thing man ever invented.

averett, frank has obviously never been on the outside of a maryland crab cake...


needles have sharp, pointy ends...

According to my calipers, the "sharp, pointy end" of a needle actually measures somewhere around 8 micrometers. Thus to any organism smaller than 8 micrometers, this surface is far from pointy and in fact can make a decent dance floor.

There is strength in a union.

ha, not if you ever married mickey rooney...


ball park franks plump when you cook 'em...

No, good ol' "Ball Park" Frank is one of the skinniest people I know, and he wouldn't fit into my microwave.

If you shoot a nuke down a bug hole, you get a lot of dead bugs.

WTF? CHRIST ALMIGHTY, don't you know that the bugs mutate into even larger bugs when subjected to radiation. AAAAGHHH.
:ahem:

There is no one that can run faster than a fired bullet.

Helllooooo bullets can't run.

LeBron James was the #1 NBA Rookie Draft Pick of the 2003-2004 NBA season.

Bullets don't run.

The TFP is not a figment of my imagination.

Hey don't forget about mine! I was first! :crazy: :crazy: :p

Actually, until he actually played his 1st NBA game, I don't think he can truly be considered a "rookie" - until he was actually picked, he was still an "ex-college star"........... or some such nonsense. :) semantics, semantics............

Yuengling is the oldest brewery in America, founded in 1829.

Ahhhhhhhhh, the old "America" trick... If you said "... in the United States of America...", fair enough, but there's more to America than America. Don't forget your Canadian friends up North, who also inhabit a large slice of North America - and say hello to those Canadians in Halifax, Nova Scotia, home to Keith's Brewery, established in 1820 and still brewing.

And CityOfAngels, indeed you were! I was too slow in hitting the "Post Quick Reply" button. :D

Next: I'm an Aussie, and here we drive on the left. My undeniable statement: when visiting the US, it is a good idea to remember to drive on the right!

oz, not if you have a death wish...


rock and roll will never die...

the definition of die: pass from physical life and lose all all bodily attributes
rock and roll does not have a physical body so your sentence makes no sense.


pengiuns are birds that cannot fly in the air.

nonononono...penguins are birds that cannot fly in the WATER!


the female counterpart of patrick is patricia...

The female coutnerpart to Patrick is Petrina.

A chocolate cake can not be baked without a baker - as in one who bakes the cake.

yo, brooke, i'm not a baker and just the other day i bought one of those refrigerated thingies, popped it in the microwave, and, badda-bing...chocolate cake...


the original "anvil chorus" was played on...anvils...

The original "anvil chorus" was played on a Wednesday.


April is the cruellest month.

oh Grancy, dear Grancey, when will you ever learn...April is the "Foolest" month...


doughnuts have a hole in the middle...

No, Holes have doughnuts outside of them, jeez.

Today is Monday

You are so wrong... today is Tuesday... really!

These pants make my butt look fat.

Oh Charlatan dear you couldn't be more wrong. Those pants make your butt look FABULOUS!


Soylent green is made of PEOPLE!

frank, we've gotta talk...your misconceptions are so misconstrued...a CROWD is made of people!


water consists of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen...

phil! Have you been smoking flyman's stash... you are wrong! water is made of melted ice!

My leg hurts where I was hit last night.

uncle phil: You are WRONG! That is a water molecule. Actual water consists of many many MANY water molecules, which would mean there is a lot more than two hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom.

Bill Gates has more money than all of us combined.

CoA, you are the master of understatement...mr. gates has more money than god...

speaking of...for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows...

Then where have all the flowers gone, Mr. Uncle Phil? If that were true, there would be more flowers now than the could be contained on earth, and we would have more flowers than we currently do. You are false due to lack of overwhelming flower content.

I will or will not be tommorow.

That's impossible Xell101. Have you forgotten again? Tomorrow is always a day away..........

The clock is ticking.....

No it's not. Mine's digital.

Apple pie has apples in it.

No, it's all sugar.

An orgasm is like a sneeze from the hips.

No... you have it backwards... a sneeze is like an orgasm for the face.

Thanks to my daughter I have seen Beauty and the Beast way too many times...

You can never see Beauty and the Beast too many times.

Sean Connery was the best James Bond.

heh...sean connery still IS the best James Bond...


Niagara falls...

Nah, you're wrong.
Last year a shipment of Viagra fell into the Niagra, and you shoulda seen it shoot upwards. Old Faithful woulda been jealous.

Dynamite in a handbag is bad.

sorry phil...Niagara sucks

I am a rowan tree

Sorry splck, Fremen was first. And dynamite in a handbag is not that bad. It can be rather handy.


My dog needs a bath.

You are wrong, your standards are vacuous and baseless. I reject them utterly and therefore your dog does not need a bath.

The jelly fish in Grancey's avatar is upside down.

You are wrong. The jellyfish is upside up, but the avatar itself is upside down.

The opposite of correct is incorrect.

COA, after all these years, you still haven't got a clue...the opposite of correct is just plain WRONG...


Arthur Miller died last night...

Arthur Miller can never die, only salesmen.

Beer is food.

Beer is considered an Alcoholic Beverage, which makes it a beverage not food.

There isn't anything that can be considered normal.

What the hell are you talking about? The fact that I like to take out a huge chuck of earwax outta my dog's ear and rub it over my nipple is considered to be normal...

Putting tooth in a can of cola will eventually use up all of the cola and evolve into a small advanced civilization of mushroom people

That's just wrong! Everyone knows that the Crest Police would stop any such growth before it would happen... Cre-est! Cre-est! Cre-est! Down with tooth decay.

In 1755, Captain Nezvert's crew mutinied when he forced them to pick their noses and eat it to ward off scurvy.

That's wrong!! They had been doing it in secret the whole trip (they knew the scurvy remedies). Their noses had already been picked clean. They mutinied when Captain Nezvert ordered everyone with a clean nose shot.

Neil Armstrong was the first human to walk on the moon.

Wrong! Neil Armstrong isn't human...

My flask is made of pewter.

No, no Charlatan, you are mistaken....no pewter, you have a powder flask.

Paul McCartney likes to wear red shirts.

Silly everyone knows that Paul died during the early seventies... "He blew his mind out in a car"


The next person writing is going to contradict this statement.

no shit...

meanwhile, back at the ranch, the lone ranger, not recognizing tonto in his disguise as a pool table, racked his balls...

Thats crap (it really is).

Plus.....the Lone Ranger racks his balls against Silver not Tonto, on those cold desert nights.

next: Uncle Phil clogged up the thread with that bogus posting above.

if he hadn't posted, you wouldn't have had that nifty statement to use.

Putting the basement on jaxx makes changing the sewage pipes easier.

That's a load or crap. You'd have to spend more money in lifting the basement than it would have cost to fix the sewage pipes.

Whale tastes better when served with soufflé.

Whoa, this is an oldie.

Dear Ch'i, I do so hate to correct you on your previous statement, "BUT YOU ARE WRONG!"

Whale is not served with souffle, but within souffle. You are so gauche.:rolleyes:

Yeah, its old, but I like where its going.

Elphaba, in what universe do you think we occupy? You are wrong in a way that causes me physical pain.

Whale, served inside a souffle? :lol: That would dilute the flavor.

Kicking a shin can shape up a bad day.

No, no, no... NO!!!! Didn't you get the fucking memo? Aim higher!!

You really should keep your nails trimmed if you are going to insert them into another person's body cavity.

Obviously your statement is terribly inaccurate and reflects a pathetic lack of imagination concerning cavities and fingernails. It's still the missionary position for you, isn't it?

Rose hips and blue balls linked together make a lovely Christmas garland.

Hip & balls, regardless of the color or fragrance, are just inappropriate Christmas decorations for households with young children. Martha Stewart shudders as she prepares carmel popcorn balls for Halloween guests.

Next week is a new year. Yeah baby! Party on the patio!!!

Um...some people will use any excuse to party...even if they have to make up one. Sorry hon, but unless you work for the government next week is not the new year. ;)

Although most people believe that wet hair in cold weather can make you sick, they are poorly mistaken...you are more likely to get cancer from the hair dryer.

Hair dryer causing cancer? If I had a dime for every time I've heard this, I would take those dimes, glue them together, and use it as weapon to beat down anyone who thinks this statement comes anywhere near a coherent argument.

Eclosion is in the eye of the beholder.

So wrong once again. Eclosion only occurs in the eye of one with extremely poor hygene.

The Bill of Wright's is long overdue and I am thinking legal action is necessary.

Didn't you hear, torture is now legal and we're living evermore closely to a dictatorship.

I have tickets to see Alice Cooper Sun. 10/8 7th row. :thumbsup:

Which only proves your retrograde obsession with 70's era musica imposters! (I have an AC vinyl; he is too cool) :)

Paul Simon is the poet of my generation. Too sad for the rest of y'all to have nothing to compare to my muse. (Oh lordy, this will provoke a major "wrong".)

Au contraire mes amie, Ray Davies and John Lennon were the poets of your generation. And this generations well....... you may have a point there isn't really one.

Alice Cooper inspired Shania Twain, hence her look.

au contraire, mon frere, shania twain looks nothing like alice cooper...i mean, like, nothing...

captain spaulding was THE african explorer...

Explorer? I think not! Captain spaulding was nothing but a schnorrer.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Not really, I have a clogged nose so I just smile and wait till others smell it and die.

The Great Kamaluana once stated "nothing is as pure as the love between a boy and his pet rattlesnake, except throwing virgins into the volcano."

I'm disappointed in you pan. Scientology teaches us that it is thetans that must be thrown into volcanoes.

Two wrongs don't make a right, unless those wrongs are pistachios.

Pistachios are ALWAYS wrong...any nut that needs to be dyed red is just WRONG!!

Bananas are the perfect food.

Everyone has different tastes, therefore bananas cannot be the perfect food.

I am watching you.

Ah, the overconfident prey.

You cannot see, because your thoughts were beset by their own foundation.

Sight is a biological function, thoughts are not, therefore thoughts would not interfere with sight. The truth yes, but not what I see.

Orange juice is tasty, therefore red juice should be good as well.

not on this planet; orange = sweet and tasty, red = cranberry and tart (ugh!)

in the game of golf, trees are 90% air...

Have you completely lost your mind?! A recent study showed that 50% of air was composed of tress.

If you say a word over and over long enough, it will lose all meaning.

wrong,wrong,rong,rong,right,right,right.


clamato juice is better than tomato juice.

flyman, you be a wildman...EVERYBODY knows that tomato juice is better than a drink with a clam in it...

cleanliness is next to godliness...