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Swim coach back working with children
27 April 2003
By JONATHAN MILNE

This is the 21-year-old woman who had sex with a 13-year-old boy and she's back working as a swimming instructor.


Stacey Margaret Friel has admitted having sex with the boy - after double-checking the law to make sure she could get away with it.

The Crimes Act does not prohibit sex between women and boys, a Victorian-style anomaly that is to be fixed by the government.

Friel was a club swim coach and a Wellington City Council swimming instructor at Tawa Pool when she met the boy. She was not his coach, which might have opened her to a charge of taking advantage of a child under her care and protection.

The six-month relationship - which has been described by Friel as "loving" - was ended by the boy in January this year.

The council has now moved her from Tawa Pool to Johnsonville Pool but her job still involves dealing with children.

Friel defended her right to privacy: "I do not see how revealing my identity will add anything to your article given that you want to address an `important political and social issue'."

Commissioner for Children Roger McClay said if Friel was a school teacher, she would be sacked and he could see no difference in how a swimming instructor should be treated.

"In my opinion, she is a very foolish, immature young woman who has really broken the trust that people need to have in someone in her position. He may be physically mature but that doesn't mean he is emotionally mature."

Council spokesman Richard MacLean said the council was reviewing her position, although he would not confirm her identity or where she worked.

"She is working for four hours a week as a learn-to-swim instructor, working with children but not with adolescents.

"She is being very closely supervised to the extent that we are satisfied there is no risk to anybody."

The Crimes Act makes it illegal for a man to have sexual intercourse with children of either sex aged under 16, or for a woman aged 21 or over to take part in any indecent act with girls aged under 16.

Police have looked into a complaint against Friel and a counter-complaint that she laid against the boy but are not expected to lay charges against either.

Justice Minister Phil Goff has promised to close the legal loophole that allows adult women to have sex with minors, after the issue was raised by the boy's angry mother and her local MP, United Future leader Peter Dunne.

A source close to Friel said she was upset at being portrayed as a wrongdoer, as she also was a victim. She had written a letter of apology to the boy and his family.

"These two young people both need to be able to get on and live their lives. Stacey turned 21 in January but (the boy) is only 13. They're both very young and they've got an awful lot of life to go in front of them.

"Her stance is that she did nothing illegal. She accepts that she made a moral lapse of judgement. She apologised in writing to the family concerned."

Detective sergeant Brett Greer of the Wellington child abuse team said he had spoken to Friel and the boy and investigated both sets of allegations.

Police would not be laying charges against the woman - "there is no criminal liability there under the current legislation" - and a final decision would be made this week about the allegation against the boy.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery