Hanxter

I don't know if these are true but if so we could be in deep doo-doo...

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.


"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.


"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.


"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.


"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President


"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle


" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another" --George Bush, US President


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca


"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.


"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.


"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP


"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


"A zebra can't change his spots." -- Al Gore

Batman976

Some of these are funny, but I have to believe that some are made up. For example the Mariah Carey one... I don't think anybody is that stupid, not even Mariah. You know how these things can get distorted through constant forwarding though, so we still have hope.

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The following statement is true.
The preceding statement was false.

Midnight_Son

half of those sound 90% made up

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SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority.

CSflim

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

I don't get it?
Half of this game (1 * 0.5) =0.5
is 90% mental (0.5 *0.9) = 0.45

So 45% of the game is mental.
Nothing wrong with that.

It's funny how innumerates laugh at "stoopid" quotes that aren't ilogical at all:

Take for instance the "illogical" claim that:
"the majority of our students are scoring below average on exams"

whats wrong with that? The majority of a group of numbers cannot be below its average?

2,2,2,4,

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uncle phil

i know i posted this in v.3...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Munku

Redlemon

I prefer the term "mentalpause" rather than "brain fart".

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Mitzkrieg

i've seen a list like this where it was Bush quoted as saying "It isn't the pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." pretty funny that there are other lists saying it was Quayle or Gore.

Shpoop

i agree with CSFilm, some of these arent really illogical

take this one:
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

maybe it was taken out of context... its baseball, maybe he is saying that half of the game (say offense, hitting the ball) is almost all mental, but it is the other part of the game taht they must focus on.

In fact many are probably taken out of context and were meant as a joke