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thinking about becoming a pimp but was soon running out of pot which
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could only result in one action...... Road trip!!!!. So, flyman loaded up into..............
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Bone's giant mexican sombrero; which was 13 feet long and had lttle tassels
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in the shape of human hands with the middle finger extended. The brim
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was made of real corn chip, which helped their munchie cravings, which, during
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the damn road block they came upon....helped to mask the smell of
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bones´ diarrhoea skid marks, which had slipped out somewhere between Tulsa and Seattle
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in an un-related incident earlier that day. The EPA came, thinking an animal
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might be horny and needing a little EPA style foot (or hoof) massage.
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They were wrong. No Massage was needed. They needed fresh air!. The Smell...........
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of Gordons pig pen could be detected right through this stanky ass story
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which has somehow gotten off the subject of Gordon the Pig. The aliens
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were hungry and tied poor Gordon to a spit and put an apple
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into each eye socket to make Gordon appear more like themselves. Squeals of
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pain were heard from Gordon as he was roasted alive. The aliens oinked
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uproariously over Gordons' pleas to turn him and baste him with Jack Daniels
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and freshly fried grits. As he was slowly roasted over that open fire
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they popped the apples out and replaced them with steel-toed boots. The boots
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were sentient beings themselves and previously objected to the killing of any animals.
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So, the boots walked away with theme music from Nancy Sinatra wafting from
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the speakers in flyman's `56 Chevy. "Damn, I got a trunk full of greasy
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french fries, that are sure to give me heartburn!". Well, the aliens hated......................
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the greasy fries,but absolutley loved nancy on the boom box,and asked.......
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flyman to "CRANK IT!!!!!" . Being the bastard that he is, flyman refused. "FUCK..........
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...YOU."............"Get your own freakin' stereo.""quit fuckin' buggin' me,and go back.....
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to your pig /boot cookout, ya alien FUCKS!!!!!". Then he farted at them.
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He would soon discover that that was the wrong thing to do, because
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the aliens had horned-out lesbians in their spaceship, and they weren't sharing.
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"Wait, I know" the fly thought, "I'll pull that double dildo away from
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bundy.......even though it will piss him right off.......and use it as....
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bait to lure the oversexed sapphic beauties away from the aliens!" his plan
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didn't accommodate for the actual size of the twin-headed monster which was actually
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bundy and his siamese-twin sister, Moolag, who, after being sexually aroused by the
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Monkey of Gibraltar, destroyed every living gnat on the face of the earth.
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Moolag, bundy´s siamese sister, once topped the country music charts with a moving
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ballad titled 'My other head eats shit'. Teenie-boppers everywhere ate the single up
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with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. bundy retaliated with an arsenal...
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of shit-slinging penguins. The teenie-boppers had no chance. The penguins annihilated
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...the Bubonic plague back in the 1300s. originally spread by the horned-out lesbians, but..
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the lesbians returned, spreading a horrid virus named Smilax officinalis. This virus ate
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