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Fremen then realised that all of those tvguides must be worth something, so
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he packaged them up and shipped them off to his Aunt, who lived
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in a van, down by the river. Unfortunately for her, the van was
|
also home to a slick male hustler. An ass-man who went by
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Sancho. This VD infested hookerslut bathed in topical creme to rid himself of
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Bones' paw prints, some of which would remain red for days. Fearing his
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slick reputation would be forever ruined if those scars never went away, he
|
left the riverbank in search of 500 virgin South American rainforest monkeys, so
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tight that they could make his pencil dick bleed. But what really mattered
|
Was, they found the monkeys and saved the rainforests, but the amazing part
|
was his deft and magical handling of that large and swollen thing he called
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the prophylactic from hell, as they lifted it over there heads, suddenly a
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shot rang out, a baby cried, the lights went out, Gordon farted, and
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TAFKAP suddenly rose from the dead. He squeeled like a piggy until Fremen returned
|
with a bulldozer, and two pints of southern comfort. Unfortunately everyone in the
|
immediate area preferred Jack Daniels, and were none too fond of bulldozers, either.
|
Inspired by vermin they whipped it out, an with no doubt, all of
|
them were consumed in freak human wildfire. The fire was probably started by
|
MOolag, who had a particular penchant for dancing naked around burning houses. However,
|
no one expected the arrival of the man in the leopard skin leotard.
|
Who does, you might ask yourself? Gordon did. Too bad he was too
|
hungover from the previous night to really care about anything let alone leotards.
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Because Gordon stood out from the regular leapard skin pattern... His was cheetah
|
and Sancho's was Tarzan. Together, they made the Russian skating pair look like
|
a pair of bickering married Indian taxicab drivers. Their harmony was unmatched by
|
the unsurpassed collection of velcro shoes this side of the rio grande. Alas
|
the skating taxicab driving duo accomplishes there dastardly deed. Victorious but also
|
desperately in need of a trip to the tanning salon, they both decided
|
to give up their vegan diet, and munch on one of Gordon's ample
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chicken pot pies, which he had cooked up for just such an occasion.
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Meanwhile, dick-nose was busy with his chickens. They were clucking while he
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Sodemized the little fuckers, unwilling and most of all extremely tender, the chickens
|
decided to peck the sick fucker to death. Meanwhile, Gordon sought out bundys'
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stained underpants which he was hiding in the septic system of the downtown
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freak-show circus night club, which was formerly known as the Ludu$ Day Di$co
|
and is now known as the biggest distributor of cheerios and chop-sticks in
|
the 19th hole clubhouse. He was smalltime, and got teabagged often. "Fuck You,
|
he'd scream, as the dangling balls would clog his nose. "Please give me
|
someone to love me for the rest of my life!" He felt so
|
childish and so nubile. Nobody answered his plea so he had his testicles
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