Tilted Chaos Theory
 

So I was in the shower this morning, and this random game idea popped into my head. You know the whole chaos theory bit, where a butterfly flaps its wings, and a nuclear war breaks out halfway around the world? Well, I thought we could implement this here with a never-ending chain of chaos. Sure, it's sort of lame, but I'm bored and so are you if you're in here.

For example, I begin by saying:
A bird alights upon a tree branch.

The next person says:
The tree branch snaps, and kills the person walking below, who happens to be the president.

Then the next person has some more chaos occur from that event.

To begin:

A man opens a stick of gum.

By some off-chance, it has anthrax in it, and the man dies.

This starts a world wide media blits about the dangers of terrorists and of gum chewing

Another man listening to this gets scared and kills himself

So everyone stops chewing gum altogether.

Unbenkownst to scientists, the chewing of gum was actually a instincitve protective measure for stopping the buildup of carcinogens in saliva.

Throat and mouth cancer rates jump 200%.

The gum industry struggles, thus creating gum in shampoo, hamburgers, pizza, computer monitors.

It is discovered that certain frequencies found in Stevie Ray Vaughan guitar solos actually destroy Lower Head Cancer cells. The RIAA sues everyone who downloads this life-saving music.

Eventually the RIAA abandons this plan, in favor of kidnapping children and forcing them to watch a very hairy man shoot puppies.

The elderly woman isnt "saved", and goes on to preach her sinful ways to the rest of the world. The rest of the world, disillusioned by the sudden increase in cancer, and the lack of gum to chew, listen attentively.

due to the absurdity of what they are listening to, their ears fall off...

Their ears all wind up falling onto the floors into the gutters and over whelming our sewage systems,

Rats wind up eating most the ears and now run around listaning to everything we say.

The rats, listening in, now have proof of the irrational fear of rats that many women possess. They invade certain women-only colleges and nunneries. Chaos ensues.

The women, currently nude sprint out of said dorms and the men begin to drool.

Because of said drool, there is a second, world consuming flood.

The 41 women rejoice in the lack of "bone' and create the first ever lesbian island

The Island is named Atlantis II and sinks into the ocean in a cataclysm of fire and molten rocks. Thus creating a new legend of a higly civilized island of lesbians who worshiped the "biggus dickus of Bonesus" and hoped for his return.

the legend, as legends are wont to do, changes and grows over time, until one day, it is said that lesbians "worship the bone". the entire meaning of the word lesbians changes from meaning liking women only to meaning addicted to dick. as a result, the word nymphomaniac falls from common use, and actual lesbians are required to come up with another term to label themselves with. they chose to call themselves lappers, so that the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation can keep its acronym, GLAAD. As a result...

...gilhooley mahoney and his leprechaun marching band paraded through the streets of boston (sans banjos) playing the university of maine fight song backwards.

When the parade goers realized that the leprechauns were all distracted because of the concentration required to play a song backwards, hundreds of people immidiately began grabbing up leprechauns with delusions of fufilled wishes flashing before their eyes.

The Leprechauns, forced to retaliate start chanting a Botswala War Chant and mercilessly slaughter half of Boston

But then half of Boston realized that St. Paddys is just another hallmark holiday and their culture is being exploited for the wealth of beer companies.

They then switched their pins from "kiss me i'm irish" to "get the corporate bastards!!"

But when it was realized that at least 98% of the corporate bastards were Irish - Everyone involved in this little rebellion decided to listen to AM talk Radio...

jeebus, we're going to hell in a handbasket...

FM Radio stations..not able to make any money, begin a new business of collectioning and selling whale bi-products..whales go extinct.

whales are now all dead, so thier sperm from having sex isnt leaked into the ocean cause it to become freshwater, all salt-water fish become extinct :)

because whales ejaculate 3000 tons of sperm everytime they sex so thats why the ocean is salty!!

With the salt no gone from the largest bodies of water. The people of earth laugh at the threat of drought. Water is pumped in from every available source. Dry arid lands once thought useless are now premier man-made water destinations. Tourism thrives in once forgotten lands.

inflatable intertubes with cartoon faces become a sudden re-visited craze.

When the still sea conspires an armor
And her sullen and aborted
Currents breed tiny monsters
True sailing is dead
Awkward instant
And the first animal is jettisoned
Legs furiously pumping
Their stiff green gallop
And heads bob up...


(sorry, couldn't resist the "horse latitude" lyrics...)

The sudden revival of cartoon animals causes a cartoon called "Zippy Fat-Gooey the Hungry Mainline Sandcrab" to be created in Japan. Flashing lights on the show give seizures to untold amounts of small children and seniors"