I'm forming a horde - Page 7 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

savethenaugs · 09-29-2003, 10:18 AM

Kahn Troublebot,

Word of the mighty Horde has spread far and wide. I have come all the way from Phoenix, where the Naugs still roam free, no threat of being hunted for their Naugahide, to join this Horde. I would love to bury my axe in some Canadians in your name. I only wish a horse to carry me into battle and all the M and M's I can eat.

I'll sneak across the border this evening and organize an anti Horde demonstration for tomorrow so that everyone is in a tight little group and defenseless when the Horde comes sweeping in. I'll be the one with the axe!

Thraeryn · 09-29-2003, 11:05 AM

Hmmm. Gathering them up for the slaughter, eh? Not a bad idea.

Wake me up when we start. The wave has passed, and been replaced by an alcohol-induced stupor.

Troublebot · 09-29-2003, 11:09 AM

Yeah, why have we spent so much time running after them in the past? Why not collect 'em somewhere like a park or stadium and let the slaughter begin?

Good thinking savethenaugs, I'll make sure you get a fine horse.

Pheatius · 09-29-2003, 11:18 AM

O Khan, Lice-Infested Leader of the Troublebot Horde, I have wonderful news. I was trying to negotiate a surrender of Canada before we arrived. The Canadian provinces agreed not to interfere with the Horde as long as we only maim, mutilate and molest French speaking Canadians. The Prime Minister for some reason did not like this idea and nixed it. The governments in the provinces revolted and treated with us the aforementioned agreement. For some reason, the Québécois were not favorable to the agreement and petitioned France for assistance. The French ambassador relayed that the French military will provide ground troops to help stem the tide of the Troublebot Horde.

O Leader of the Stinky....I present you with Frenchman to dismember and slay in battle.

Today I shall not bathe. When the sun rises in the morning, I will go into battle with the rest of the Horde. For tomorrow we fight the French. (And the froggie wannabes, the Québécois). Remember, do not kill them all. Save some and we will force them to eat food smothered in Ketchup.
.

uncle phil · 09-29-2003, 11:59 AM

Sing Another Song, Boys
Leonard Cohen

(Let's sing another song, boys, this one has grown old and bitter.)
Ah his fingernails, I see they're broken,
his ships they're all on fire.
The moneylender's lovely little daughter
ah, she's eaten, she's eaten with desire.
She spies him through the glasses
from the pawnshops of her wicked father.
She hails him with a microphone
that some poor singer, just like me, had to leave her.
She tempts him with a clarinet,
she waves a Nazi dagger.
She finds him lying in a heap;
she wants to be his woman.
He says, "Yes, I might go to sleep
but kindly leave, leave the future,
leave it open."

He stands where it is steep,
oh I guess he thinks that he's the very first one,
his hand upon his leather belt now
like it was the wheel of some big ocean liner.
And she will learn to touch herself so well
as all the sails burn down like paper.
And he has lit the chain
of his famous cigarillo.
Ah, they'll never, they'll never ever reach the moon,
at least not the one that we're after;
it's floating broken on the open sea, look out there, my friends,
and it carries no survivors.
But lets leave these lovers wondering
why they cannot have each other,
and let's sing another song, boys,
this one has grown old and bitter.

etardedraverboy · 09-29-2003, 06:37 PM

you need me in your hord so i can throw the kickass rageing party after we take everey thing we want and destroy the rest

Hard8s · 10-01-2003, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by etardedraverboy
you need me in your hord so i can throw the kickass rageing party after we take everey thing we want and destroy the rest

I think I know who I want to play Horde Scrabble with Next!!!! But first lets us plunder, pillage, and plow right through the Frogs's and the Canadian frogs! Be sure to save the women folk, well at least the good looking womenfolk. And keep out of Thraeryn's way I hear he has had much to drink again, and I see a Zamboni over there. That one might get messy. Eh!
*Shrugs- and wanders off to ponder Thraeryns fondness for vehicles and to sharpen sword and ice skates*

uncle phil · 10-01-2003, 03:53 AM

for thrae...

I WANNA DRIVE THE ZAMBONI
The Zambonis

Well I went down to my local arena.
I asked to see the manager man.
He came from his office and said, "Son can I help you?"
I looked at him and said, "Yes you can."

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)

Since I was young it's been my dream
to drive that there zamboni machine.
I'd get that ice just as slick as could be,
and all the kids would look up to me.

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)

The manager said, "Son, I know it looks keen,
but that right there is one expensive machine.
And we've got Smokey who's been driving for years."
About that time, I broke down in tears.

'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.
I wanna drive the zamboni.
(Yes I do.)

Thraeryn · 10-01-2003, 04:08 AM

Aw. . . . *sniff* I'm all choked up, uncle phil. *smiles tearily* I always have wanted to sit up on that high seat and run people down, crushing them under the wheels of the machine and coating their broken, bloodied bodies with a thin, smooth sheen of ice!

I'm so hap- *sob* . . . Just stay out of my way tomorrow! *runs off, crying happily*

Troublebot · 10-01-2003, 05:04 AM

All right Horde, let's commence to slashin' and hackin'

I get first pick of the redheads.

Pyrate · 10-01-2003, 05:23 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*Run, jump, swing, whoosh, slash, HACK! Scrape, bang, slice, lynch, turn, block, dodge, COUNTER! Stomp, kick, heads rolling, punch, thrash, bite, claw, pant, pant, gasp, "Phew! 13 down, only ??,000,000 more to go..." Run, jump, smack, slit, gut, maim, mutilate, behead, belimb, amputate, smash, swing, swoop, slash, dig, stab, hack, hack, HACK!*

Man, this is the best hording EVER!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

*Swings wildly amidst the fray, lopping off heads and releasing guts and brains...*

Troublebot · 10-01-2003, 05:31 AM

Lord! Tooks flying everywhere!

It is truly great to be part of this horde!

Thraeryn · 10-01-2003, 05:34 AM

I'm hereby passing around earplugs, because I'm tired of hearing their cries of "Stop that, that's not very nice, eh!"

Pyrate · 10-01-2003, 05:42 AM

I'll stick my earplugs up my nose, 'cos the smell of cleanliness in this country is intolerable...

analog · 10-01-2003, 08:02 PM

*cries happily* we get to slaughter the French?? i never imagined such a day!! Elisha (as in elisha cuthbert, now my bride), get me my finest sword!! I've got sissy frenchmen to behead!! But first give my loins the pleasure of your silken tongue, for it makes me ripe for slaughtering!!

Troublebot · 10-02-2003, 03:47 AM

My brave, blood-engorged horde,

I have urgent business to the south that will keep me away for a week. Continue our piliging of Canada and try not to get into too much trouble.

I'll let you decide amongst yourselves who will be Kahn in my absence.

Troublebot the Vacationing,
Kahn
Troublebot Horde

Thraeryn · 10-02-2003, 03:49 AM

I vote for me, because I CALL KAHN!!!

Fremen · 10-02-2003, 05:06 AM

I got shotgun!

Averett · 10-02-2003, 05:26 AM

Fellas, make me a nice trail to Alberta!

Pyrate · 10-02-2003, 08:48 AM

*Whispers to a horde comrade*

"Let us allow Thraeryn to lead us in The Kahn's absence. Then if anything goes wrong while our Lord's away, he'll get the chop!!!"

*Looks down innocently as Thraeryn glances in my direction...*

Heh, t'was only a joke, sir...

*Walks off, muttering to himself.*

Thraeryn · 10-02-2003, 11:46 AM

Don't you see my avatar?! Don't you know my tastes for flesh and for late model automobiles?!

If anyone thinks I'm not a suitable leader for this Horde in Troublebot's absence, let him or her stand and face me! I have recently seduced several Ford Explorers, and they will stand behind me on the field of battle.

uncle phil · 10-02-2003, 11:47 AM

(for Averett...)

ALBERTA BOUND
Gordon Lightfoot

Oh the prairie lights are burnin' bright
The Chinook wind is a-movin' in
Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound
Though I've done the best I could
My old luck ain't been so good and
Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound
No one-eyed man could e'er forget
The Rocky Mountain sunset
It's a pleasure just to be Alberta bound
I long to see my next of kin
To know what kind of shape they're in
Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound

Alberta bound, Alberta bound
It's good to be Alberta bound
Alberta bound, Alberta bound
It's good to be Alberta bound

Oh the skyline of Toronto
Is somethin' you'll get onto
But they say you've got to live there for a while
And if you got the money
You can get yourself a honey
A written guarantee ta make you smile
But it's snowin' in the city
And the streets and brown and gritty
And I know there's pretty girls all over town
But they never seem ta find me
And the one I left behind me
Is the reason that I'll be Alberta bound

Alberta bound, Alberta bound
It's good to be Alberta bound
Alberta bound, Alberta bound
It's good to be Alberta bound
It's good to be Alberta bound

Fire · 10-06-2003, 12:59 AM

Sure, lets let him be khan- how will the frenchies react to that- god knows the one indignaty they've never suffered is having their crappy french cars raped. that should get em

Miranda · 10-06-2003, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
Welcome to the Horde Baaa. Grab a horse and ride my Horde brother!

I noticed that too Tinfoil the Unholy. Anyone know of any battle-scarred female warriors that might want to join up? We're heading to Washington state soon, perhaps their lusty bank tellers would dare to ride with us!

Troublebot the Lonely
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

AHOY THERE Thraeryn the replacement yet mighty and bloodythirsty Kahn! I have come-eth from far and wide to join your mighty horde. I see-eth thou ist searching for battle-scarred female warriors and I be-eth one. I pride myself on being quite battle scarred and particuarly bloodthirsty. I lust after men who equal me in vigour - to pillage and plunder from but also to pleasure me. However, I must apologise for my late arrival, I was detained by a longrunning scrabble match against some Microsoft executivess; I am proud to say it was a bloody victory on my part.
So, Oh Glorious Thraeryn the Substitute yet Splendid and Manly Kahn, be there are place for me in your all-powerful horde?

Pyrate · 10-06-2003, 09:19 AM

Pleeeeeeeeeeeez let her join, oh mighty one, oh impressive interim invigilator, oh temporary leader of us!

*Lets slip a sly and mischievous laugh...and winks at Miranda in a 'friendly' manner.*

Thraeryn · 10-06-2003, 09:40 AM

Welcome, Miranda! In the absence of our regular leader, I've taken the liberty of making up these entrance exams. Rip yours up, throw it on the ground and spit on it, and we'll get down to outfitting you with steed and sword.

Giant Hamburger · 10-06-2003, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
Hail Giant Hamburger!

You will be my second in command!

Hail Fools of Little or No Memory!

I was dragging my knife across throats whilst you still sucked the thin, sour milk from your whore mother's wiener shaped teats. Do you think you could command Giant Hamburger? I break necks like rotten twigs in the daily strangling contests I hold for mine own amusement and exercise. I can also spell "Khan." That being said, I have been quite busy at work these days so will give the nod to Thraeryn as interim leader. Just do not doubt that I will split the skulls of those who dispute my rightful due.
Carry on,
-GH

Thraeryn · 10-06-2003, 11:47 AM

You know, oh rightful second in command Giant Hamburger, I tried to surreptitiously spell "Khan" correctly in my posts for a while, but no one took the hint. Rather than go against a Horde as foul-smelling and poor-spelling as this one, I let it lie.

I am glad to see that someone else has noticed the error, and I promise that I shall defer all larger decisions and tributes to you in our Khan's absence.

I shall also try to find you a picture of a hamburger in a schoolgirl outfit.

Giant Hamburger · 10-06-2003, 12:58 PM

Hail Thraeryn!

You have chosen your words wisely.
Your reward has been bathed and sent to your tent.

When you have satiated your appetites, we will discuss our next bloodcurdling move. We must have a throne of fresh enemy skulls for our Khan to lounge upon his return.
-GH

Thraeryn · 10-06-2003, 01:45 PM

What I promise, O Second in Command and First in Hamburgers, I deliver.

wry1 · 10-06-2003, 07:02 PM

Wow....a Horde with its own spell-checker (thanks Hard8s)!

A must-have for any century.

I too will lend my vast skills to your worthy cause of causing murder, mayhem and alcohol-consumption on a global scale. Here are my qualifications....

I, Commando the mightily-endowed, have left a field of broken bottles through many a bar and nightclub, have utterly destroyed many a closing-time, and have single-handedly turned once hard-drinking bartenders into sober citizens from the hangovers I induce. No bar, party store, liquor aisle or farmer's daughter is safe within 500 miles of wherever I happen to be at any given moment. No shot is too big, no tab is too big.

I also bring my own weapon: a multi-functional bottle opener/cork pull/broadsword. As for horses, don't need 'em....I ride the beer trucks I capture, ride the cars of the bartenders I put under the table, ride the farmer's daughters I.....never mind!

Just one thing: why aren't we sacking Las Vegas? Think about it, guys....showgirls, strippers, shitloads of cash, strippers, showgirls, mountains of booze in every hotel, showgirls, strippers. I say we make Las Vegas our base of operations and then send out raiding parties across the land! Once we settle in, we can hunt Sigfried & Roy's animals for sport.

Just a thought.

Giant Hamburger · 10-06-2003, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Thraeryn
What I promise, O Second in Command and First in Hamburgers, I deliver.

Well Done Thraeryn!

You have earned a place at my table. The burger-headed schoolgirl will serve me well. Let Thraeryn's gift-giving acumen be a lesson to all you would be hordesmen. If you lay prizes such as this at my bloodstained boots then I will show you a harvest of death you farmers turned warriors have not seen in a lifetime of seasons.
-GH

Fire · 10-06-2003, 09:28 PM

Hail Giant Hamburger! Hail Thaeryn! Death to the Frenchies- oh great stand-ins of destruction, let us add unto our grimy mass the worthy among the canucks, let us recruit amongst their mighty lords of the game they call hockey! they already have armor, and from what I have seen they share our mindset....

Thraeryn · 10-07-2003, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wry1
I, Commando the mightily-endowed, have left a field of broken bottles through many a bar and nightclub, have utterly destroyed many a closing-time, and have single-handedly turned once hard-drinking bartenders into sober citizens from the hangovers I induce. No bar, party store, liquor aisle or farmer's daughter is safe within 500 miles of wherever I happen to be at any given moment. No shot is too big, no tab is too big.

Welcome, Commando the Hard Drinking! Many of us are of a like mind as you, and I suspect that the drinking contests among the Horde will be continuing long into the night and on through to the next day.

Quote:

Originally posted by Fire
. . . let us add unto our grimy mass the worthy among the canucks, let us recruit amongst their mighty lords of the game they call hockey! they already have armor, and from what I have seen they share our mindset....

This were a good idea, ere we slaughtered them all. Now, the necromancers it would require would put too much of a strain on this mighty Horde's resources.

And Commando, I would take Las Vegas, but that an old man, bald of pate and on drugs, smoking with a cigarette holder and carrying a typewriter, made me believe that I would one day perish there! I would not bring this fortune upon myself so soon and, knowing Fate, I would rampage through the streets, crushing the masses, then at the after-party I would fail to notice half a broken tequila bottle and step on it, severing important arteries in my foot. Such is the way she mocks us!

wry1 · 10-07-2003, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Thraeryn
Welcome, Commando the Hard Drinking! Many of us are of a like mind as you, and I suspect that the drinking contests among the Horde will be continuing long into the night and on through to the next day.

Through the next day??? Try, "long into the night and on through to the next week," and you'll start getting close! This is a mighty Horde, one which knows not the meaning of words such as "Designated Driver", "Hangover", "Alcohol Poisoning" and their ilk.

Quote:

Originally posted by Thraeryn
And Commando, I would take Las Vegas, but that an old man, bald of pate and on drugs, smoking with a cigarette holder and carrying a typewriter, made me believe that I would one day perish there! I would not bring this fortune upon myself so soon and, knowing Fate, I would rampage through the streets, crushing the masses, then at the after-party I would fail to notice half a broken tequila bottle and step on it, severing important arteries in my foot. Such is the way she mocks us!

Don't let Hunter S. Thompson get you down, Thraeryn....he's just telling you that to keep you out of his back yard; for he is a sly and crafty old hippie. Realizing that offending you outright would only serve to bring your mighty wrath - and the wrath of we, your Horde brothers - down on his oh-so-shiny head, he has chosen instead to use subrefuge and his rumored powers of prophecy to instill the dread of a tequila bottle into your soul.....besides, nobody walks in Vegas! That's why we'll leave a limo driver or two alive (especially if they are of the buxom female persuasion).

Think on it, oh substitute Horde-master!

Eternally Drunk, Horny and Searching for a Party,

Commando the Hard-Drinking

Thraeryn · 10-07-2003, 12:57 PM

Hmmmm. I would like the run of Caesar's Palace. We could rename it "Thraeryn's Palace"! The Bellagio could be the "Troubellagio"! And the Luxor could be the "Giant Hamburgor"!

I feel my opinion swaying.

Troublebot · 10-07-2003, 02:54 PM

All hail the mighty Troublehorde!

It is good to be amongst you again my horde. I find my visit to the south has left me invigorated and lusting for blood, power and fine lasses!

Allow me to say that I return to find you all hording well, burning and destroying in a dignified way and not hurting each other too much. It brings a tear to this Kahn's eye.

My loyal Thraeryn, you have done well in my absence! You have recruited new members and seemed to have burned Canada to a blackened cinder. I appreciate you holding the horde together in my absence and make you ruler of Toronto. Do with it as you deem fit.

My dear friend Giant Hamburger, it troubles me that I had forgotten my original decree, making you my second in command. Can you find it in your heart to forgive an old Kahn?

Pack it up and prepare to move it out of town my horde. We will act on Commando's idea to take Vegas. It's twinkling lights and warm desert winds call out to us.

Troublebot the unruly
Kahn
Troublebot Horde

Giant Hamburger · 10-07-2003, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot

My dear friend Giant Hamburger, it troubles me that I had forgotten my original decree, making you my second in command. Can you find it in your heart to forgive an old Kahn?

Hail Troublebot!

No apology is required.
I have been quiet during the Hordes activities.

As you may have noticed, I will emerge when necessary to remind those of my rightful place.
When you need me, I will be there whether you remember or not.

My words are iron.
-GH

uncle phil · 10-07-2003, 03:19 PM

VIVA LAS VEGAS
Elvis Presley

Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn,
So get those stakes up higher
There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there
And they're all livin' devil may care
And I'm just the devil with love to spare
Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas

How I wish that there were more
Than the twenty-four hours in the day
'Cause even if there were forty more
I wouldn't sleep a minute away
Oh, there's black jack and poker and the roulette wheel
A fortune won and lost on ev'ry deal
All you need's a strong heart and a nerve of steel
Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas with you neon flashin'
And your one armbandits crashin'
All those hopes down the drain
Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime
Turnin' night into daytime
If you see it once
You'll never be the same again

I'm gonna keep on the run
I'm gonna have me some fun
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up broke up well
I'll always remember that I had a swingin' time
I'm gonna give it ev'rything I've got
Lady luck please let the dice stay hot
Let me shout a seven with ev'ry shot
Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas,
Viva, Viva Las Vegas

wry1 · 10-07-2003, 08:57 PM

Okay, who farted!

....um, wait. Sorry....that was me.

Oh mighty Khan! One who reeks of toe-jam and onion/garlic bagels! Troublebot the mightily odiforous! Welcome back.

With your permission, oh malodorous one, Thraeryn's desire to mark territory is a wise one. He has shown his desire for Caesar's Palace, and has wisely offered you that jewel known as The Bellagio for your own pleasures, and not to forget has offered Giant Hamburger that oasis called Luxor.

If this is to your liking, I would beg a boon, my lord.....allow me to lay claim to Paris hotel & casino. And if she is there, to Paris Hilton as well! Actually, I would prefer her sister Nikki, but would defer and offer her to you as your rightful due....

And remember, everybody: Nobody trashes the buffets! We need to be able to replenish ourselves after it's all said and done.

09-29-2003, 10:18 AM	#241 (permalink)
savethenaugs Upright Location: Az. Center of nothing.	Kahn Troublebot, Word of the mighty Horde has spread far and wide. I have come all the way from Phoenix, where the Naugs still roam free, no threat of being hunted for their Naugahide, to join this Horde. I would love to bury my axe in some Canadians in your name. I only wish a horse to carry me into battle and all the M and M's I can eat. I'll sneak across the border this evening and organize an anti Horde demonstration for tomorrow so that everyone is in a tight little group and defenseless when the Horde comes sweeping in. I'll be the one with the axe! __________________ "You're not allowed to rent here anymore!" -- Randall

09-29-2003, 11:09 AM	#243 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Yeah, why have we spent so much time running after them in the past? Why not collect 'em somewhere like a park or stadium and let the slaughter begin? Good thinking savethenaugs, I'll make sure you get a fine horse. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-29-2003, 11:18 AM	#244 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	O Khan, Lice-Infested Leader of the Troublebot Horde, I have wonderful news. I was trying to negotiate a surrender of Canada before we arrived. The Canadian provinces agreed not to interfere with the Horde as long as we only maim, mutilate and molest French speaking Canadians. The Prime Minister for some reason did not like this idea and nixed it. The governments in the provinces revolted and treated with us the aforementioned agreement. For some reason, the Québécois were not favorable to the agreement and petitioned France for assistance. The French ambassador relayed that the French military will provide ground troops to help stem the tide of the Troublebot Horde. O Leader of the Stinky....I present you with Frenchman to dismember and slay in battle. Today I shall not bathe. When the sun rises in the morning, I will go into battle with the rest of the Horde. For tomorrow we fight the French. (And the froggie wannabes, the Québécois). Remember, do not kill them all. Save some and we will force them to eat food smothered in Ketchup. . Last edited by Pheatius; 09-29-2003 at 11:21 AM..

09-29-2003, 11:59 AM	#245 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Sing Another Song, Boys Leonard Cohen (Let's sing another song, boys, this one has grown old and bitter.) Ah his fingernails, I see they're broken, his ships they're all on fire. The moneylender's lovely little daughter ah, she's eaten, she's eaten with desire. She spies him through the glasses from the pawnshops of her wicked father. She hails him with a microphone that some poor singer, just like me, had to leave her. She tempts him with a clarinet, she waves a Nazi dagger. She finds him lying in a heap; she wants to be his woman. He says, "Yes, I might go to sleep but kindly leave, leave the future, leave it open." He stands where it is steep, oh I guess he thinks that he's the very first one, his hand upon his leather belt now like it was the wheel of some big ocean liner. And she will learn to touch herself so well as all the sails burn down like paper. And he has lit the chain of his famous cigarillo. Ah, they'll never, they'll never ever reach the moon, at least not the one that we're after; it's floating broken on the open sea, look out there, my friends, and it carries no survivors. But lets leave these lovers wondering why they cannot have each other, and let's sing another song, boys, this one has grown old and bitter. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-29-2003, 06:37 PM	#246 (permalink)
etardedraverboy Insane Location: portland the land of liquid sun shine	you need me in your hord so i can throw the kickass rageing party after we take everey thing we want and destroy the rest __________________ vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooommmmmm

09-29-2003, 11:05 AM	#242 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Hmmm. Gathering them up for the slaughter, eh? Not a bad idea. Wake me up when we start. The wave has passed, and been replaced by an alcohol-induced stupor.

10-01-2003, 03:53 AM	#248 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	for thrae... I WANNA DRIVE THE ZAMBONI The Zambonis Well I went down to my local arena. I asked to see the manager man. He came from his office and said, "Son can I help you?" I looked at him and said, "Yes you can." 'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni. I wanna drive the zamboni. (Yes I do.) Since I was young it's been my dream to drive that there zamboni machine. I'd get that ice just as slick as could be, and all the kids would look up to me. 'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni. I wanna drive the zamboni. (Yes I do.) The manager said, "Son, I know it looks keen, but that right there is one expensive machine. And we've got Smokey who's been driving for years." About that time, I broke down in tears. 'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni. I wanna drive the zamboni. 'Cause I wanna drive the zamboni. I wanna drive the zamboni. (Yes I do.) __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-01-2003, 04:08 AM	#249 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Aw. . . . sniff I'm all choked up, uncle phil. smiles tearily I always have wanted to sit up on that high seat and run people down, crushing them under the wheels of the machine and coating their broken, bloodied bodies with a thin, smooth sheen of ice! I'm so hap- sob . . . Just stay out of my way tomorrow! runs off, crying happily

10-01-2003, 05:04 AM	#250 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	All right Horde, let's commence to slashin' and hackin' I get first pick of the redheads. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

10-01-2003, 05:23 AM	#251 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Run, jump, swing, whoosh, slash, HACK! Scrape, bang, slice, lynch, turn, block, dodge, COUNTER! Stomp, kick, heads rolling, punch, thrash, bite, claw, pant, pant, gasp, "Phew! 13 down, only ??,000,000 more to go..." Run, jump, smack, slit, gut, maim, mutilate, behead, belimb, amputate, smash, swing, swoop, slash, dig, stab, hack, hack, HACK! Man, this is the best hording EVER! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Swings wildly amidst the fray, lopping off heads and releasing guts and brains... __________________ ?

10-01-2003, 05:31 AM	#252 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Lord! Tooks flying everywhere! It is truly great to be part of this horde! __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

10-01-2003, 05:34 AM	#253 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	I'm hereby passing around earplugs, because I'm tired of hearing their cries of "Stop that, that's not very nice, eh!"

10-01-2003, 05:42 AM	#254 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	I'll stick my earplugs up my nose, 'cos the smell of cleanliness in this country is intolerable... __________________ ?

10-01-2003, 08:02 PM	#255 (permalink)
analog Banned	cries happily we get to slaughter the French?? i never imagined such a day!! Elisha (as in elisha cuthbert, now my bride), get me my finest sword!! I've got sissy frenchmen to behead!! But first give my loins the pleasure of your silken tongue, for it makes me ripe for slaughtering!!

10-02-2003, 03:47 AM	#256 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	My brave, blood-engorged horde, I have urgent business to the south that will keep me away for a week. Continue our piliging of Canada and try not to get into too much trouble. I'll let you decide amongst yourselves who will be Kahn in my absence. Troublebot the Vacationing, Kahn Troublebot Horde __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

10-02-2003, 03:49 AM	#257 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	I vote for me, because I CALL KAHN!!!

10-02-2003, 05:06 AM	#258 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I got shotgun! __________________ Google

10-02-2003, 05:26 AM	#259 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Fellas, make me a nice trail to Alberta! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

10-02-2003, 08:48 AM	#260 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Whispers to a horde comrade "Let us allow Thraeryn to lead us in The Kahn's absence. Then if anything goes wrong while our Lord's away, he'll get the chop!!!" Looks down innocently as Thraeryn glances in my direction... Heh, t'was only a joke, sir... Walks off, muttering to himself. __________________ ?

10-02-2003, 11:46 AM	#261 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Don't you see my avatar?! Don't you know my tastes for flesh and for late model automobiles?! If anyone thinks I'm not a suitable leader for this Horde in Troublebot's absence, let him or her stand and face me! I have recently seduced several Ford Explorers, and they will stand behind me on the field of battle.

10-02-2003, 11:47 AM	#262 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	(for Averett...) ALBERTA BOUND Gordon Lightfoot Oh the prairie lights are burnin' bright The Chinook wind is a-movin' in Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound Though I've done the best I could My old luck ain't been so good and Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound No one-eyed man could e'er forget The Rocky Mountain sunset It's a pleasure just to be Alberta bound I long to see my next of kin To know what kind of shape they're in Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound Alberta bound, Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound Alberta bound, Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound Oh the skyline of Toronto Is somethin' you'll get onto But they say you've got to live there for a while And if you got the money You can get yourself a honey A written guarantee ta make you smile But it's snowin' in the city And the streets and brown and gritty And I know there's pretty girls all over town But they never seem ta find me And the one I left behind me Is the reason that I'll be Alberta bound Alberta bound, Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound Alberta bound, Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-06-2003, 12:59 AM	#263 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	Sure, lets let him be khan- how will the frenchies react to that- god knows the one indignaty they've never suffered is having their crappy french cars raped. that should get em __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

10-06-2003, 09:19 AM	#265 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Pleeeeeeeeeeeez let her join, oh mighty one, oh impressive interim invigilator, oh temporary leader of us! Lets slip a sly and mischievous laugh...and winks at Miranda in a 'friendly' manner. __________________ ?

10-06-2003, 09:40 AM	#266 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Welcome, Miranda! In the absence of our regular leader, I've taken the liberty of making up these entrance exams. Rip yours up, throw it on the ground and spit on it, and we'll get down to outfitting you with steed and sword.

10-06-2003, 11:47 AM	#268 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	You know, oh rightful second in command Giant Hamburger, I tried to surreptitiously spell "Khan" correctly in my posts for a while, but no one took the hint. Rather than go against a Horde as foul-smelling and poor-spelling as this one, I let it lie. I am glad to see that someone else has noticed the error, and I promise that I shall defer all larger decisions and tributes to you in our Khan's absence. I shall also try to find you a picture of a hamburger in a schoolgirl outfit.

10-06-2003, 12:58 PM	#269 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hail Thraeryn! You have chosen your words wisely. Your reward has been bathed and sent to your tent. When you have satiated your appetites, we will discuss our next bloodcurdling move. We must have a throne of fresh enemy skulls for our Khan to lounge upon his return. -GH

10-06-2003, 01:45 PM	#270 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	What I promise, O Second in Command and First in Hamburgers, I deliver.

10-06-2003, 07:02 PM	#271 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Wow....a Horde with its own spell-checker (thanks Hard8s)! A must-have for any century. I too will lend my vast skills to your worthy cause of causing murder, mayhem and alcohol-consumption on a global scale. Here are my qualifications.... I, Commando the mightily-endowed, have left a field of broken bottles through many a bar and nightclub, have utterly destroyed many a closing-time, and have single-handedly turned once hard-drinking bartenders into sober citizens from the hangovers I induce. No bar, party store, liquor aisle or farmer's daughter is safe within 500 miles of wherever I happen to be at any given moment. No shot is too big, no tab is too big. I also bring my own weapon: a multi-functional bottle opener/cork pull/broadsword. As for horses, don't need 'em....I ride the beer trucks I capture, ride the cars of the bartenders I put under the table, ride the farmer's daughters I.....never mind! Just one thing: why aren't we sacking Las Vegas? Think about it, guys....showgirls, strippers, shitloads of cash, strippers, showgirls, mountains of booze in every hotel, showgirls, strippers. I say we make Las Vegas our base of operations and then send out raiding parties across the land! Once we settle in, we can hunt Sigfried & Roy's animals for sport. Just a thought. Last edited by wry1; 10-06-2003 at 07:08 PM..

10-06-2003, 09:28 PM	#273 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	Hail Giant Hamburger! Hail Thaeryn! Death to the Frenchies- oh great stand-ins of destruction, let us add unto our grimy mass the worthy among the canucks, let us recruit amongst their mighty lords of the game they call hockey! they already have armor, and from what I have seen they share our mindset.... __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

10-07-2003, 12:57 PM	#276 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Hmmmm. I would like the run of Caesar's Palace. We could rename it "Thraeryn's Palace"! The Bellagio could be the "Troubellagio"! And the Luxor could be the "Giant Hamburgor"! I feel my opinion swaying.

10-07-2003, 02:54 PM	#277 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	All hail the mighty Troublehorde! It is good to be amongst you again my horde. I find my visit to the south has left me invigorated and lusting for blood, power and fine lasses! Allow me to say that I return to find you all hording well, burning and destroying in a dignified way and not hurting each other too much. It brings a tear to this Kahn's eye. My loyal Thraeryn, you have done well in my absence! You have recruited new members and seemed to have burned Canada to a blackened cinder. I appreciate you holding the horde together in my absence and make you ruler of Toronto. Do with it as you deem fit. My dear friend Giant Hamburger, it troubles me that I had forgotten my original decree, making you my second in command. Can you find it in your heart to forgive an old Kahn? Pack it up and prepare to move it out of town my horde. We will act on Commando's idea to take Vegas. It's twinkling lights and warm desert winds call out to us. Troublebot the unruly Kahn Troublebot Horde __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

10-07-2003, 03:19 PM	#279 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	VIVA LAS VEGAS Elvis Presley Bright light city gonna set my soul Gonna set my soul on fire Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn, So get those stakes up higher There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there And they're all livin' devil may care And I'm just the devil with love to spare Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas How I wish that there were more Than the twenty-four hours in the day 'Cause even if there were forty more I wouldn't sleep a minute away Oh, there's black jack and poker and the roulette wheel A fortune won and lost on ev'ry deal All you need's a strong heart and a nerve of steel Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas with you neon flashin' And your one armbandits crashin' All those hopes down the drain Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime Turnin' night into daytime If you see it once You'll never be the same again I'm gonna keep on the run I'm gonna have me some fun If it costs me my very last dime If I wind up broke up well I'll always remember that I had a swingin' time I'm gonna give it ev'rything I've got Lady luck please let the dice stay hot Let me shout a seven with ev'ry shot Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas, Viva, Viva Las Vegas __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-07-2003, 08:57 PM	#280 (permalink)
wry1 Loser Location: Far too far from my Angel....	Okay, who farted! ....um, wait. Sorry....that was me. Oh mighty Khan! One who reeks of toe-jam and onion/garlic bagels! Troublebot the mightily odiforous! Welcome back. With your permission, oh malodorous one, Thraeryn's desire to mark territory is a wise one. He has shown his desire for Caesar's Palace, and has wisely offered you that jewel known as The Bellagio for your own pleasures, and not to forget has offered Giant Hamburger that oasis called Luxor. If this is to your liking, I would beg a boon, my lord.....allow me to lay claim to Paris hotel & casino. And if she is there, to Paris Hilton as well! Actually, I would prefer her sister Nikki, but would defer and offer her to you as your rightful due.... And remember, everybody: Nobody trashes the buffets! We need to be able to replenish ourselves after it's all said and done. Last edited by wry1; 10-07-2003 at 09:02 PM..