I'm forming a horde - Page 5 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Averett · 09-20-2003, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by flyman
go ahead.....just don't fuck with our maple syrup....oh and.....leave our goddamn beavers alone too.

and don't even think about stealin' our beer either.

Oh dont worry my friend! I want the maple syrup... And beer. And beavers are fantastic. And the men. Oh, those Canadian men...

I'm just trying to gain your national treasures

Thraeryn · 09-20-2003, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
Me neither, I'm not that stupid.

Could be someone over there though...

*Points in the general direction of Thraeryn.

Oh mighty Khan, what have I done to displeas- oh, hi, Buttcrust! No, no, I don't know anything aboutasignIdon'tevenknowhowtowriteAAAAAAAAHHHH! *starts waving blades around frantically*

tinfoil · 09-20-2003, 10:43 AM

Hey, stay away from my beer, averett.

Actually, we'll pay you to take Quebec ;>

Troublebot · 09-20-2003, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by flyman
go ahead.....just don't fuck with our maple syrup....oh and.....leave our goddamn beavers alone too.

and don't even think about stealin' our beer either.

Can we take Rush?

I always enjoyed Rush.

Hard8s · 09-20-2003, 04:57 PM

If we're talking canadien singers I put claim to Shania Twain!

uncle phil · 09-20-2003, 05:32 PM

(background music just in case...)

{Spoken}
There's a province up in Canada that's right next door to ours.
It's called Saskatchewan. And, uh, in that province there's a
small town, uh, where nothing much ever happens, called
Saskatoon. This is a tune about that town. This is called
"Runnin' Back To Saskatoon".

------ harmonica ------

I been hangin' around gas stations
I been learnin' 'bout tires
I been talkin' to grease monkeys
I been workin' on cars

Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

I been hangin' around libraries
I been learnin' 'bout books
I been talkin' to playwriters
I been workin' on words, phrases

Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

I been hangin' around hospitals
I been learnin' 'bout dyin'
I been talkin' to heart doctors
I been workin' on disease

Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

This tune is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong
This tune is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong

I been hangin' around grain elevators
I been learnin' 'bout food
I been talkin' to soil farmers
I been workin' on land

Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

I been hangin' around camera stores
I been learnin' 'bout sight
I been talkin' to film makers
I been workin' on eyes

Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin' back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune

This tune is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong
This tune is home grown
Don't come from Hong Kong

analog · 09-21-2003, 10:37 AM

I will be Kerrek, THE MOST FEARED BANK TELLER IN ALL THE LAND!! *stomps* I will rule with an IRON FIST! My change-giving shall be MIGHTY, and I WILL ADD A 15% GRATUITY TO ALL CARDS LEFT OVERNIGHT!! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!!

Kahn of the Horde, you are mighty and wise, indeed! The Horde need not a spy, as we will pillage whom we please and need not know of them beforehand.

tinfoil · 09-21-2003, 06:13 PM

Indeed, a banker would be useful to our cause.

As our loot grows, we will need someone quick of mind to manage and invest our bounty.

Fire · 09-22-2003, 07:55 AM

I am Fire the everburning, weapons dealer and wandering adventurer- I declare my desire to join this horde and bring with me a fine arsenal and burning hatred for the frenchies of quebec- let us invade them and spill their blood like water

Pyrate · 09-22-2003, 08:44 AM

And I, Pyrate the Port Pillager, bring with me boundless experience of the eight seas (yes, there are eight of them-one where London used to be...) and a lust for carnage and carnal corruption. Enlist me, and you will enjoy the wonders and treasures of the oceans, hencetoforth belonging to me, but for you, mighty Leader of Pillagers, I will abdicate my mighty throne and serve under you.

Take me, and you take with you boundless knowledge of the seas and influence as vast as the skies above...And as a token of my allegiance to you, I give you the Pacific, and all the men and soldiers who control it. A small gift for a great man.

Thraeryn · 09-22-2003, 09:11 AM

Wow. Our numbers grow so large that I cannot count them, not even using my feet! Hopefully analog can keep our accounts for us, much like Price Waterhouse. If we take over the Oscars, he can even do the vote-tallying for them!

Troublebot · 09-22-2003, 09:34 AM

Ah! As another great man once said, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Welcome to our new members. We are currently invading California. I was actually surprised not to see some of our more "active" members at the Emmy's last night. Perhaps they felt the gala was beneath them, perhaps they stayed away out of respect to John Ritter, I have no idea.

After California, I believe we're set our sights on Canada. No ones gotten back to be on what we're doing with progressive rock band Rush when we get them though.

Thraeryn · 09-22-2003, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
No ones gotten back to be on what we're doing with progressive rock band Rush when we get them though.

I vote for a very slow beheading with a very dull axe, starting with the front of the neck and not the back.

Fucking "trees" song. I hate that crap. If I wanted to listen to a damned Chipmunks album, I'd have someone record the song, then speed it up like Nature intended. *starts waving blades around recklessly (again)*

tinfoil · 09-22-2003, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
Ah! As another great man once said, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Welcome to our new members. We are currently invading California. I was actually surprised not to see some of our more "active" members at the Emmy's last night. Perhaps they felt the gala was beneath them, perhaps they stayed away out of respect to John Ritter, I have no idea.

After California, I believe we're set our sights on Canada. No ones gotten back to be on what we're doing with progressive rock band Rush when we get them though.

Ahh, but we were there. Do you think Friends actually won an award because the show deserved it?

As for Rush, I nominate they be kept as the official court entertainers.

rockogre · 09-22-2003, 10:44 AM

I was in mourning for Johnny Cash during the Emmys, and Kim Cattrall has once again snubbed my offer as her escort to the festivities.

(Hmmmmm, possibly she could be "borrowed" during the confusion of the hordes advance). Sorry, private moment there.

I feel the need for havoc and destruction. The San Francisco Starbucks shall rue my arrival. Free coffee and coffee derivatives for all the horde.

Keep the bean counters clear and ignore any "notes" that might appear on the backside of my loin cloth.

Harm not a single cable car or feel my wrath for they are holy to me!!! Consider yourselves warned.

uncle phil · 09-22-2003, 11:11 AM

(since we're still in california...)

CALIFORNIA EARTHQUAKE
Mama Cass Elliott

I heard they exploded,
The underground blast,
What they say's gonna happen,
Gonna happen at last,
That's the way it appears.

They tell me the fault line runs right through here,
So that may be,
That may be,
What's gonna happen gonna happen to me,
That's the way it appears.

They tell me the fault line runs right through here.

Atlantis will rise,
Sunset Boulevard will fall,
Where the beach used to be,
Won't be nothing at all,
That's the way it appears.

They tell me the fault line runs right through here
So that may be,
That may be,
What's gonna happen gonna happen to me,
That's the way it appears.

They tell me the fault line runs right through here.

Pheatius · 09-22-2003, 11:54 AM

O Greatly Soiled Chief of the Lice-Infested Stinking Horde, I bring bad tidings from the California Front. Apparently certain actors in Hollywood have been speaking out against our beloved Stinking Horde. Charlie Sheen is leading them and rumor has it that they think they actually wield power over the masses and people listen to what they say. They seem to be in their own reality and seem somehow disconnected from real life. Because of this, our weapons have little effect on them. When we whack off their heads, it has little effect on their intelligence. This has emboldened them to the point of making a made for TV movie about The Horde that will cast a negative light upon our exploits. The worst thing, O Leader of the Stinking Horde, is they insult you by casting Richard Simmons as you, Rupaul as Thraeryn, Wilfred Bremly as RockOgre , Rosie O’Donnell as Averett, a small ferret will play Uncle Phil, Wil Wheaton as ME and they will CGI everyone else as an Orc Wannabe rip off from Lord of the Rings. They plan on editing out the stinking, pillaging, killing, maiming, unwanted sexual advances and transform the Horde into a group of wandering Americore College Drop-outs trying to steal beer. They also plan on making a political statement against the California Recall Election by adding a gay love triangle with Our Glorious Leader Troublebot, Bones and The Ferret (Uncle Phil).

I was so angered by this information that I killed the messengers and ate them with nice Chianti.

We cannot stand for this. We must make haste to Hollywood to stop production of this farce.

What say thee O Glorious Leader?

What say thee O Stinking Horde?

(And I don't think Bones will have a favorable opinion of this development either.)

Averett · 09-22-2003, 12:00 PM

Rosie O'Donnell? Okay, now I'm pissed. These Californian bastards must pay!

Thraeryn · 09-22-2003, 12:12 PM

RuPaul is kinda hot, but I'm still not happy about being portrayed by him/her. Why couldn't they have gotten Scott Thompson to play me like his "Buddy" character?

Anyway, expect there to be flash blood warnings all along the coast.

uncle phil · 09-22-2003, 12:13 PM

(i'll fix those evil, peta-loving scum...)

A SHELTER FERRET’S LOVE

Based on “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood

(The human)

I think about it, I must have ferret love,

Since my sweet Bandit crossed to the Bridge above.

Without him, my life is wasted time,

A Bandit-sized hole in this heart of mine.

I feel lonely everywhere;

In this whole world, that’s not fair!

Before one more day has gone by,

Gonna find a shelter guy!

Bring me some ferret love!

Bring me some ferret love!

Bring me some ferret love!

Where's that ferret love I keep thinking of?

(The Shelter ferret)

Worlds are turning and I’m just hanging on,

Facing my fear that I’ll always be alone.

A yearning, what I want to see

Is that some human comes and adopts me.

Homeless ferrets everywhere;

In this whole world, that’s not fair!

My Shelter Mom is good to me,

But a forever home – will it ever be?

Bring me a human’s love!

Bring me a human’s love!

Bring me a human’s love!

Where's that human love I keep thinking of?

Bring me a human’s love!

Bring me a human’s love!

Bring me a human’s love!

I would give so much for some human love!

At the shelter now,

I try and find a pal.

Will that human there choose me?

Is he the one for me?

“That’s him… That one there…”

Our hearts connect the first time that we meet.

Both of us together – it’s meant to be!

I gladly pay the shelter’s fee.

Now you’re gonna come home with me!!

I’ve got my ferret love!!

I’ve got my ferret love!!

I’ve got my ferret love!!

It’s that ferret love I kept thinking of!!!

I’ve got a human’s love!!

I’ve got a human’s love!!

I’ve got a human’s love!!

I will dance and look for my new human’s love!!!

Thraeryn · 09-22-2003, 12:20 PM

Keep the hits comin', uncle phil.

Fire · 09-22-2003, 02:30 PM

AYE! we must make them pay! pay and taste the meaning of the word californication! onward Hordesmen to that weird ass looking chinese theatre- we shall take their last castle and fly from it our flags stitched from actor skin. and after we have despoiled it we can expand to the rest of L.A. and begin the grand pillaging (and get great seats for ROTK)

Hard8s · 09-22-2003, 04:38 PM

Yes, we must make haste to that area of smog known as HOLLYWOOD. When we are done we will make a new sign on the hill made with the bodies of thse who protested our coming. We will tear down the Hollywod sign and make it say HORDEWOOD. I can see it now, then when we are done there we continue on to Mexico, where the women are hot and the beer is cold, or is that the other way around. I was still day dreaming of Canadian singers (Shania Twain dreams are the best....)!

Quote:

Originally posted by Pheatius
Apparently certain actors in Hollywood have been speaking out against our beloved Stinking Horde. Charlie Sheen is leading them and rumor has it that they think they actually wield power over the masses and people listen to what they say. They seem to be in their own reality and seem somehow disconnected from real life. Because of this, our weapons have little effect on them. When we whack off their heads, it has little effect on their intelligence. This has emboldened them to the point of making a made for TV movie about The Horde that will cast a negative light upon our exploits. The worst thing, O Leader of the Stinking Horde, is they... will CGI everyone else as an Orc Wannabe rip off from Lord of the Rings.

What say thee O Stinking Horde?

First they put one of their own in the recall and now this...

An Orc wanabe..........

Why that Charlie Sheen..I will rip off his arm and shove it so far up his ass that he'll taste his own fingers from the inside out. Then I'll plunder his wife over and over again until she calls me Charlie!

uncle phil · 09-23-2003, 04:12 AM

hey, are we through pillaging california yet?

Troublebot · 09-23-2003, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pheatius
The worst thing, O Leader of the Stinking Horde, is they insult you by casting Richard Simmons as you,

They also plan on making a political statement against the California Recall Election by adding a gay love triangle with Our Glorious Leader Troublebot, Bones and The Ferret (Uncle Phil).

Well, while the homosexual love triangle doesn't phase me too much (I am an open-mided Kahn and have a "live and let live" policy with my horde) I'm totally enraged with Richard Simmons playing me. I'm more of a George Clooney mashed up with Dom DeLuise.

Burn Hollywood to the ground. I want nothing standing more than a foot high when I get there.

rockogre · 09-23-2003, 05:01 AM

WILFERD BRIMLEY MUST DIE!!!

Thraeryn · 09-23-2003, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rockogre
WILFERD BRIMLEY MUST DIE!!!

Perhaps we should save one cameraman and make a documentary with that title.

Pyrate · 09-23-2003, 08:22 AM

Would you like me to float Atlantis? It makes a good stealth spot, and noone but me knows its exact location. It is my home whenever I'm cruising in the Atlantic area. Your men can use it for leisure whenever they wish, preferably with each soldier holding a kicking and screaming village maiden over their shoulders...

Oh, and I'll take the 'spell' off of Bermuda's waters...feel free to have a look without fear of vanishing.

Pyrate · 09-23-2003, 08:25 AM

Oh, and I found this while terrorising the natives of Santa Barbara...

*Tosses Britney Spears to the feet of Kahn.*

Can I have her when you're done?

*Gives a quick shallow bow and rushes back to his LandCruiser to continue the destruction*

Troublebot · 09-23-2003, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pyrate
*Tosses Britney Spears to the feet of Kahn.*

Can I have her when you're done?

Not sure there'll be much left when I'm done.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I'll be in my tent with Miss Spears.

Troublebot the Piggy
Kahn
Troublebot Horde

rockogre · 09-23-2003, 08:52 AM

BRING ME THE HEAD OF WILFRED BRIMLEY!

Charlie Sheen shall also feel the wrath of my axe.

Britney Spears? I seek REAL women, all bubblegummers will be immediately turned in at the Kahn's tent.

If anyone comes across Salma Hayek I will pay handsomely.

Pyrate · 09-23-2003, 09:09 AM

Ah, but you might as well 'play' with her while she dies slowly...double whammy.

And my Lord, don't worry about me...I'll be satisfied with her leg or scalp or something...

Troublebot · 09-23-2003, 09:38 AM

If anyone finds Joel Schmacher, bring him to me.

I have much to "discuss" with him about the handling of the Batman francise.

I may give him to Buttcrust to play with.

Fire · 09-24-2003, 01:11 AM

yes- Schmacher must pay- pay with his blood and orbs of manhood- for verily and forsooth none of us needed to see plastic bat nipples- yea he must feel the gentle carress of hot tongs and the agony of a singer handystitch on his various nubly bits..... Let us get on with the despoiling oh Kahn- for I long to add shatner's toupee to my collection of has been scalps....

Troublebot · 09-24-2003, 05:15 AM

I think I'm most upset with him for turning the batcave into a neon-encrusted vegas casino. Who the hell's gonna see it? Alfred?

I think we'll bring back drawing and quartering for Mr. Schumacher. Then, we'll attach his head to a pole for all to see as we ride down on their villages.

Thraeryn · 09-24-2003, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Troublebot
I think I'm most upset with him for turning the batcave into a neon-encrusted vegas casino. Who the hell's gonna see it? Alfred?

Naw, see, that's where playboy Bruce Wayne brings the ladies of more dubious persuasions.

There's a full bar, a theater-quality entertainment system, and not one, but TWO bedrooms, both with "role-playing attire" in the form of Bat-costumes! It's just like a themed hotel suite!

If we find anything like that in our plundering, I want it.

Pyrate · 09-24-2003, 07:26 AM

*Walks in sulking, cursing his bad luck at losing track of Mariah Carey in the midst of SoCal, thanks to Thaeryn's reckless charge through a crowd of moms and kids...*

Goddamn it, I just saw Conan out there...seems as though he's setting up his own little 'horde'. I say crush him. Now. Not because he's a formidable warrior, no, not because he is superhuman, but simply because he's trying to make our lifestyle 'fashionable'.

Try to be a little more 'restrained' in your pillaging next time Thaeryn...you've just cost this Pyrate the catch of his life!

Humph

Troublebot · 09-24-2003, 07:33 AM

Just took a walk down Rodeo drive.

Sigh. I remember when this horde was just a few of us, causeing trouble on this little street. Buttcrust roasting affluent women's tiny pet poodles.

Jeez, even a Kahn can get misty eyed now and then.

rockogre · 09-24-2003, 11:37 AM

Mmmmmmmm, Poodle chili! Any one needs me I'll be hunting up on Nob Hill.

Ahhhhh

Rack of Poodle
Poodle Flambau
Poodle a la Orange
Filet of Poodle
Poodle Stroganoff
Poodle and Kitten stew, (With bisquits)
Poodle and dumplings
Poodle tartare
Poodle in a blanket
Mushroom smothered Poodle

And for desert, Mime brain pudding.

Who's up for some mime hunting? They are pretty easy to catch once the get caught in one of those invisible boxes. That, and they are always creeping up on you, just spin around and BLAMMO! One less mime.

Thraeryn · 09-24-2003, 11:54 AM

Reminds me of "Rollin' Down Rodeo" by Rage Against The Machine.

Do you think they had a fledgling horde before we did?

If so, I imagine that the folks of Rodeo Drive were used to pillaging before we came along. That's not nearly as fun.

I'll try to watch my pillaging next time. Just feed me lots of tequila before the battle and I won't move quite so quickly.

09-20-2003, 10:43 AM	#163 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	Hey, stay away from my beer, averett. Actually, we'll pay you to take Quebec ;> __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

09-20-2003, 04:57 PM	#165 (permalink)
Hard8s Addict Location: Wherever I am!	If we're talking canadien singers I put claim to Shania Twain! __________________ If ignorance is bliss, then wipe this smile off my face! Last edited by Hard8s; 09-20-2003 at 09:13 PM..

09-20-2003, 05:32 PM	#166 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	(background music just in case...) {Spoken} There's a province up in Canada that's right next door to ours. It's called Saskatchewan. And, uh, in that province there's a small town, uh, where nothing much ever happens, called Saskatoon. This is a tune about that town. This is called "Runnin' Back To Saskatoon". ------ harmonica ------ I been hangin' around gas stations I been learnin' 'bout tires I been talkin' to grease monkeys I been workin' on cars Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too Runnin' back to Saskatoon Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat Sing another prairie tune Sing another prairie tune I been hangin' around libraries I been learnin' 'bout books I been talkin' to playwriters I been workin' on words, phrases Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too Runnin' back to Saskatoon Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat Sing another prairie tune Sing another prairie tune I been hangin' around hospitals I been learnin' 'bout dyin' I been talkin' to heart doctors I been workin' on disease Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too Runnin' back to Saskatoon Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat Sing another prairie tune Sing another prairie tune This tune is home grown Don't come from Hong Kong This tune is home grown Don't come from Hong Kong I been hangin' around grain elevators I been learnin' 'bout food I been talkin' to soil farmers I been workin' on land Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too Runnin' back to Saskatoon Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat Sing another prairie tune Sing another prairie tune I been hangin' around camera stores I been learnin' 'bout sight I been talkin' to film makers I been workin' on eyes Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too Runnin' back to Saskatoon Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat Sing another prairie tune Sing another prairie tune This tune is home grown Don't come from Hong Kong This tune is home grown Don't come from Hong Kong __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-21-2003, 06:13 PM	#168 (permalink)
tinfoil Fucking Hostile Location: Springford, ON, Canada	Indeed, a banker would be useful to our cause. As our loot grows, we will need someone quick of mind to manage and invest our bounty. __________________ Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

09-22-2003, 07:55 AM	#169 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	I am Fire the everburning, weapons dealer and wandering adventurer- I declare my desire to join this horde and bring with me a fine arsenal and burning hatred for the frenchies of quebec- let us invade them and spill their blood like water __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

09-21-2003, 10:37 AM	#167 (permalink)
analog Banned	I will be Kerrek, THE MOST FEARED BANK TELLER IN ALL THE LAND!! stomps I will rule with an IRON FIST! My change-giving shall be MIGHTY, and I WILL ADD A 15% GRATUITY TO ALL CARDS LEFT OVERNIGHT!! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!! Kahn of the Horde, you are mighty and wise, indeed! The Horde need not a spy, as we will pillage whom we please and need not know of them beforehand.

09-22-2003, 08:44 AM	#170 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	And I, Pyrate the Port Pillager, bring with me boundless experience of the eight seas (yes, there are eight of them-one where London used to be...) and a lust for carnage and carnal corruption. Enlist me, and you will enjoy the wonders and treasures of the oceans, hencetoforth belonging to me, but for you, mighty Leader of Pillagers, I will abdicate my mighty throne and serve under you. Take me, and you take with you boundless knowledge of the seas and influence as vast as the skies above...And as a token of my allegiance to you, I give you the Pacific, and all the men and soldiers who control it. A small gift for a great man. __________________ ?

09-22-2003, 09:11 AM	#171 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Wow. Our numbers grow so large that I cannot count them, not even using my feet! Hopefully analog can keep our accounts for us, much like Price Waterhouse. If we take over the Oscars, he can even do the vote-tallying for them!

09-22-2003, 09:34 AM	#172 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Ah! As another great man once said, "I love it when a plan comes together." Welcome to our new members. We are currently invading California. I was actually surprised not to see some of our more "active" members at the Emmy's last night. Perhaps they felt the gala was beneath them, perhaps they stayed away out of respect to John Ritter, I have no idea. After California, I believe we're set our sights on Canada. No ones gotten back to be on what we're doing with progressive rock band Rush when we get them though. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-22-2003, 10:44 AM	#175 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	I was in mourning for Johnny Cash during the Emmys, and Kim Cattrall has once again snubbed my offer as her escort to the festivities. (Hmmmmm, possibly she could be "borrowed" during the confusion of the hordes advance). Sorry, private moment there. I feel the need for havoc and destruction. The San Francisco Starbucks shall rue my arrival. Free coffee and coffee derivatives for all the horde. Keep the bean counters clear and ignore any "notes" that might appear on the backside of my loin cloth. Harm not a single cable car or feel my wrath for they are holy to me!!! Consider yourselves warned. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom Last edited by rockogre; 09-22-2003 at 10:46 AM..

09-22-2003, 11:11 AM	#176 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	(since we're still in california...) CALIFORNIA EARTHQUAKE Mama Cass Elliott I heard they exploded, The underground blast, What they say's gonna happen, Gonna happen at last, That's the way it appears. They tell me the fault line runs right through here, So that may be, That may be, What's gonna happen gonna happen to me, That's the way it appears. They tell me the fault line runs right through here. Atlantis will rise, Sunset Boulevard will fall, Where the beach used to be, Won't be nothing at all, That's the way it appears. They tell me the fault line runs right through here So that may be, That may be, What's gonna happen gonna happen to me, That's the way it appears. They tell me the fault line runs right through here. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-22-2003, 11:54 AM	#177 (permalink)
Pheatius Insane Location: The South	O Greatly Soiled Chief of the Lice-Infested Stinking Horde, I bring bad tidings from the California Front. Apparently certain actors in Hollywood have been speaking out against our beloved Stinking Horde. Charlie Sheen is leading them and rumor has it that they think they actually wield power over the masses and people listen to what they say. They seem to be in their own reality and seem somehow disconnected from real life. Because of this, our weapons have little effect on them. When we whack off their heads, it has little effect on their intelligence. This has emboldened them to the point of making a made for TV movie about The Horde that will cast a negative light upon our exploits. The worst thing, O Leader of the Stinking Horde, is they insult you by casting Richard Simmons as you, Rupaul as Thraeryn, Wilfred Bremly as RockOgre , Rosie O’Donnell as Averett, a small ferret will play Uncle Phil, Wil Wheaton as ME and they will CGI everyone else as an Orc Wannabe rip off from Lord of the Rings. They plan on editing out the stinking, pillaging, killing, maiming, unwanted sexual advances and transform the Horde into a group of wandering Americore College Drop-outs trying to steal beer. They also plan on making a political statement against the California Recall Election by adding a gay love triangle with Our Glorious Leader Troublebot, Bones and The Ferret (Uncle Phil). I was so angered by this information that I killed the messengers and ate them with nice Chianti. We cannot stand for this. We must make haste to Hollywood to stop production of this farce. What say thee O Glorious Leader? What say thee O Stinking Horde? (And I don't think Bones will have a favorable opinion of this development either.) Last edited by Pheatius; 09-22-2003 at 11:57 AM..

09-22-2003, 12:00 PM	#178 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Rosie O'Donnell? Okay, now I'm pissed. These Californian bastards must pay! __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

09-22-2003, 12:12 PM	#179 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	RuPaul is kinda hot, but I'm still not happy about being portrayed by him/her. Why couldn't they have gotten Scott Thompson to play me like his "Buddy" character? Anyway, expect there to be flash blood warnings all along the coast.

09-22-2003, 12:13 PM	#180 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	(i'll fix those evil, peta-loving scum...) A SHELTER FERRET’S LOVE Based on “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood (The human) I think about it, I must have ferret love, Since my sweet Bandit crossed to the Bridge above. Without him, my life is wasted time, A Bandit-sized hole in this heart of mine. I feel lonely everywhere; In this whole world, that’s not fair! Before one more day has gone by, Gonna find a shelter guy! Bring me some ferret love! Bring me some ferret love! Bring me some ferret love! Where's that ferret love I keep thinking of? (The Shelter ferret) Worlds are turning and I’m just hanging on, Facing my fear that I’ll always be alone. A yearning, what I want to see Is that some human comes and adopts me. Homeless ferrets everywhere; In this whole world, that’s not fair! My Shelter Mom is good to me, But a forever home – will it ever be? Bring me a human’s love! Bring me a human’s love! Bring me a human’s love! Where's that human love I keep thinking of? Bring me a human’s love! Bring me a human’s love! Bring me a human’s love! I would give so much for some human love! At the shelter now, I try and find a pal. Will that human there choose me? Is he the one for me? “That’s him… That one there…” Our hearts connect the first time that we meet. Both of us together – it’s meant to be! I gladly pay the shelter’s fee. Now you’re gonna come home with me!! I’ve got my ferret love!! I’ve got my ferret love!! I’ve got my ferret love!! It’s that ferret love I kept thinking of!!! I’ve got a human’s love!! I’ve got a human’s love!! I’ve got a human’s love!! I will dance and look for my new human’s love!!! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-22-2003, 12:20 PM	#181 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Keep the hits comin', uncle phil.

09-22-2003, 02:30 PM	#182 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	AYE! we must make them pay! pay and taste the meaning of the word californication! onward Hordesmen to that weird ass looking chinese theatre- we shall take their last castle and fly from it our flags stitched from actor skin. and after we have despoiled it we can expand to the rest of L.A. and begin the grand pillaging (and get great seats for ROTK) __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

09-23-2003, 04:12 AM	#184 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	hey, are we through pillaging california yet? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-23-2003, 05:01 AM	#186 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	WILFERD BRIMLEY MUST DIE!!! __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-23-2003, 08:22 AM	#188 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Would you like me to float Atlantis? It makes a good stealth spot, and noone but me knows its exact location. It is my home whenever I'm cruising in the Atlantic area. Your men can use it for leisure whenever they wish, preferably with each soldier holding a kicking and screaming village maiden over their shoulders... Oh, and I'll take the 'spell' off of Bermuda's waters...feel free to have a look without fear of vanishing. __________________ ?

09-23-2003, 08:25 AM	#189 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Oh, and I found this while terrorising the natives of Santa Barbara... Tosses Britney Spears to the feet of Kahn. Can I have her when you're done? Gives a quick shallow bow and rushes back to his LandCruiser to continue the destruction __________________ ?

09-23-2003, 08:52 AM	#191 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	BRING ME THE HEAD OF WILFRED BRIMLEY! Charlie Sheen shall also feel the wrath of my axe. Britney Spears? I seek REAL women, all bubblegummers will be immediately turned in at the Kahn's tent. If anyone comes across Salma Hayek I will pay handsomely. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-23-2003, 09:09 AM	#192 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Ah, but you might as well 'play' with her while she dies slowly...double whammy. And my Lord, don't worry about me...I'll be satisfied with her leg or scalp or something... __________________ ?

09-23-2003, 09:38 AM	#193 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	If anyone finds Joel Schmacher, bring him to me. I have much to "discuss" with him about the handling of the Batman francise. I may give him to Buttcrust to play with. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-24-2003, 01:11 AM	#194 (permalink)
Fire Warrior Smith Location: missouri	yes- Schmacher must pay- pay with his blood and orbs of manhood- for verily and forsooth none of us needed to see plastic bat nipples- yea he must feel the gentle carress of hot tongs and the agony of a singer handystitch on his various nubly bits..... Let us get on with the despoiling oh Kahn- for I long to add shatner's toupee to my collection of has been scalps.... __________________ Thought the harder, Heart the bolder, Mood the more as our might lessens

09-24-2003, 05:15 AM	#195 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	I think I'm most upset with him for turning the batcave into a neon-encrusted vegas casino. Who the hell's gonna see it? Alfred? I think we'll bring back drawing and quartering for Mr. Schumacher. Then, we'll attach his head to a pole for all to see as we ride down on their villages. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-24-2003, 07:26 AM	#197 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Walks in sulking, cursing his bad luck at losing track of Mariah Carey in the midst of SoCal, thanks to Thaeryn's reckless charge through a crowd of moms and kids... Goddamn it, I just saw Conan out there...seems as though he's setting up his own little 'horde'. I say crush him. Now. Not because he's a formidable warrior, no, not because he is superhuman, but simply because he's trying to make our lifestyle 'fashionable'. Try to be a little more 'restrained' in your pillaging next time Thaeryn...you've just cost this Pyrate the catch of his life! Humph __________________ ?

09-24-2003, 07:33 AM	#198 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	Just took a walk down Rodeo drive. Sigh. I remember when this horde was just a few of us, causeing trouble on this little street. Buttcrust roasting affluent women's tiny pet poodles. Jeez, even a Kahn can get misty eyed now and then. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

09-24-2003, 11:37 AM	#199 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Mmmmmmmm, Poodle chili! Any one needs me I'll be hunting up on Nob Hill. Ahhhhh Rack of Poodle Poodle Flambau Poodle a la Orange Filet of Poodle Poodle Stroganoff Poodle and Kitten stew, (With bisquits) Poodle and dumplings Poodle tartare Poodle in a blanket Mushroom smothered Poodle And for desert, Mime brain pudding. Who's up for some mime hunting? They are pretty easy to catch once the get caught in one of those invisible boxes. That, and they are always creeping up on you, just spin around and BLAMMO! One less mime. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

09-24-2003, 11:54 AM	#200 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	Reminds me of "Rollin' Down Rodeo" by Rage Against The Machine. Do you think they had a fledgling horde before we did? If so, I imagine that the folks of Rodeo Drive were used to pillaging before we came along. That's not nearly as fun. I'll try to watch my pillaging next time. Just feed me lots of tequila before the battle and I won't move quite so quickly.