ShtE Luck

I know this has been done, probally killed to. But I am a very lonely bored man. Post a question on anything, romance, donkey kong, monster trucks, stain removal.

Only one rule NO MATH!

bernadette

do you seriously recommend running with scissors? and if so, why?

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curbserved

mommy, what's a gravedigga?

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some days, i sit and wish i was a kid again...

crackpot

Are there any easter eggs in my idiotic neighbor's new Ghostbusters DVD?
I hope the hell not. What an idiot.

ShtE Luck

That's a good question Berny. As you may have noticed by now and probally haven't, I am a free spirit. As free as a bird, a plane, and superman combined. Although one could argue that birds can be caged, air planes are ruled by their pilots, and superman was never to have his love Louis.

I guess I'm getting off topic a little. It all started when I was a child of seven. On my first day of going to Blankety Blank Elementary School I had art class after recess. Now I was never one of thoser arts crazed children, I always savored the taste of glue and most sparkles where used to blind my foes in combat. With all this behind me one could say I walked into that art room with a faint feeling of anxiety.

Then I saw the scissors. Slender lengths of pointed steel with sturdy orange plastic handles. Scenes of blood and mayhem flashed through my head. I could rule the world with those scissors. (and one day I would, different story)

Half an hour into Mrs. Greensmokinghippies class it became apparent that I would not be able to gain access to these 'scissors' as freely as I had hoped. I plotted in the back of the classroom, perched on my wooden stool which I was forbidden to lean from. Deep below the table my hands worked furiously, mixing the perfect amounts of my old friends glitter and glue. This stuff was the finest on the market, white elmers and bluish tinged Party! brand. I shook my head at the bottle of glitter. There would be no party today.

The teacher came to inspect my macaroni art and I sprung into action. She was blinded instantly by my horrible concotion. In hindsight blinding her for a month may have been a little harsh, but she was probally perscribed medicinal wacky tabaccy.

I sprinted for the scissors, dodging teachers aids. SMASH! I dived through the nearby picture window, grabbing the scissors from Mrs. Greensmokinghippies desk mid flight. Once free I fled to the woods. That would be the last time any civilized person saw me until my teenage years.

I reached the edge of the woods before I noticed my wounds, the window had been real glass rather than the sugar compound I had practiced on in my child stunt double days. Still, I fled onward. Deeper and deeper into the dark woods I ran, like a twisted Snow White. In exaustion I collapsed on a mossey rock, making peace with death.

That night the Nestea tribe found my body. They nursed me back to health and raised me as one of their own, giving me my Indian name 'Runs With Scissors'.

I shall always remeber my carefree days in the wilderness of Cape Cod withe the Nesteas. I have equated running with scissors with freedom ever since.

My final response is the following: Stay free, stay running, and never trust umbrellas.

ShtE Luck

They're everywhere, and they're coming for you son.

ShtE Luck

That's a good one, friend.

Easter eggs are everywhere. They have a shell in every detail of our proud modern world. I fear they wish to rule us crackpot. Make us their yoke fueled slaves. They control us from they're hidden nooks.

In fact its a little known fact that 'easter egg hunts' as we know them today were once known as Divine Aquisition of the Hellions and was celebrated by most ancient religions. The 'Easter Bunny's proper name is in fact, Lucifer.

I lead a small group of friends who follow the ancient rights of DAH. We hold back the flood as best we can. If I were to faill, only the Queen Spider knows what would become of this world.

Here's the bottom line. It is ESSENTIAL that I investigate that DVD, please contact me.

Root_Beer_Man

Whats this for? *holds up a used condom*

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>3 Cheers for boobies!!<

bernadette

ok. that was quite the insightful exposé regarding your advocation of running with scissors.

and now i must ask you, what's the dealio with the umbrella distrust?

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ShtE Luck

Those are created by the fairys boy. They give you magical, wonderful powers! Just toss it into the air and you'll be more powerful then the Keebler elf himself.

ShtE Luck

Obviously you've never seen batman.

baaa

ShtE, could you write me an amusing question for yourself?

ShtE Luck

I cry because I care ShtE. Because I care.

You and me ShtE, we're special, and no matter how many times he beats us with the plunger, he can't take that away.

Take this message to heart wherever you go, only you and I can possibley comprehend it:
Snizzle Nerdlihc Snackle Eht Do Evas

(A Ballchinian goose feather to whoever decodes that.)

Goodbye My Loved ShtE,
ShtE

Midnight_Son

ok, buddy!
what the hell works for getting off sticker goo? you know that shit that stays on after you pull off a sticker.
( don't say peanut-butter, it scratches paint...WD40 doesn't work either) so, please help oh wise one!

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SWM, tattooed, seeks meaningful tits and beer. Enjoys biker mags, pornography, and Sunday morning walks to the liquor store. Winners of erotic hot dog eating contests given priority.

zodiac3k

what's so great about SUVs?

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zodiac3k

ShtE Luck

If I tell you this formula you must follow it EXACTLY.

Heres what you will need:
The Heart Of An Emu
Partially Eaten Apple
Top Hat
Broom Stick
Dung Beetle
Bottle Of Sweat Sqweeged From The Set of Springer
3 Unspoiled Virgins (For that cliche taste)

Combine apple, emu's heart, and sweat in the top hat. Now ride the broomstick like a horse while smacking your bottom. Make three orbits of the top hat on your broom, on the second picking up the dung beetle and placing it on the ridge of your ear. Then have the virgins make a human pyramid. Spread the new solution over said goo, making sure the pyramid stays alligned with mecca.

Or just use acetone, either works.

ShtE Luck

Well mine can fit up to 15 bodies, if they're still warm and malleable, 12 if rigamortis has set in. That's IN ADDITION to a cup of coffee. Wow.

Utility truely has met waste (of gas). Thankyou Ford. Thankyou.

ShtE Luck

Keep 'em coming

paddyjoe

Is flyman really Canadian, or is he just saying that cause he thinks it will help people to like him...................eh?

MacGnG

whose the 19th boss in donkey kong?

if there isnt a 19th level, than make one up.

zodiac3k

which is better

nintendo or sega?

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zodiac3k

rmarshall

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Fly

ya' man....i wanna hear this one too.

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Loup

Since you are banned, is someone else going to answer your questions for us?

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"If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it."
~ Frank Tyger

baaa

I will.


Ask Baaa all of the impotent questions

pr0f3n

OK...
Why won't it go?

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In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche

baaa

It won't go because of your momma

Conclamo Ludus

How do you get banned from TFP?

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Lord, have mercy on my wicked soul
I wouldn't mistreat you baby, for my weight in gold.
-Son House, Death Letter Blues

pr0f3n

I knew she was the Succubus.

Question #2: How do I banish the banshee?

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In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche