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ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 09:44 AM

Ask ShtE
 
I know this has been done, probally killed to. But I am a very lonely bored man. Post a question on anything, romance, donkey kong, monster trucks, stain removal.

Only one rule NO MATH!:hmm:

bernadette 08-25-2003 09:52 AM

do you seriously recommend running with scissors? and if so, why?

curbserved 08-25-2003 10:22 AM

mommy, what's a gravedigga?

crackpot 08-25-2003 11:00 AM

Are there any easter eggs in my idiotic neighbor's new Ghostbusters DVD?
I hope the hell not. What an idiot.

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bernadette
do you seriously recommend running with scissors? and if so, why?
That's a good question Berny. As you may have noticed by now and probally haven't, I am a free spirit. As free as a bird, a plane, and superman combined. Although one could argue that birds can be caged, air planes are ruled by their pilots, and superman was never to have his love Louis.

I guess I'm getting off topic a little. It all started when I was a child of seven. On my first day of going to Blankety Blank Elementary School I had art class after recess. Now I was never one of thoser arts crazed children, I always savored the taste of glue and most sparkles where used to blind my foes in combat. With all this behind me one could say I walked into that art room with a faint feeling of anxiety.

Then I saw the scissors. Slender lengths of pointed steel with sturdy orange plastic handles. Scenes of blood and mayhem flashed through my head. I could rule the world with those scissors. (and one day I would, different story)

Half an hour into Mrs. Greensmokinghippies class it became apparent that I would not be able to gain access to these 'scissors' as freely as I had hoped. I plotted in the back of the classroom, perched on my wooden stool which I was forbidden to lean from. Deep below the table my hands worked furiously, mixing the perfect amounts of my old friends glitter and glue. This stuff was the finest on the market, white elmers and bluish tinged Party! brand. I shook my head at the bottle of glitter. There would be no party today.

The teacher came to inspect my macaroni art and I sprung into action. She was blinded instantly by my horrible concotion. In hindsight blinding her for a month may have been a little harsh, but she was probally perscribed medicinal wacky tabaccy.

I sprinted for the scissors, dodging teachers aids. SMASH! I dived through the nearby picture window, grabbing the scissors from Mrs. Greensmokinghippies desk mid flight. Once free I fled to the woods. That would be the last time any civilized person saw me until my teenage years.

I reached the edge of the woods before I noticed my wounds, the window had been real glass rather than the sugar compound I had practiced on in my child stunt double days. Still, I fled onward. Deeper and deeper into the dark woods I ran, like a twisted Snow White. In exaustion I collapsed on a mossey rock, making peace with death.

That night the Nestea tribe found my body. They nursed me back to health and raised me as one of their own, giving me my Indian name 'Runs With Scissors'.

I shall always remeber my carefree days in the wilderness of Cape Cod withe the Nesteas. I have equated running with scissors with freedom ever since.

My final response is the following: Stay free, stay running, and never trust umbrellas. :thumbsup:

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by curbserved
mommy, what's a gravedigga?
They're everywhere, and they're coming for you son.

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by crackpot
Are there any easter eggs in my idiotic neighbor's new Ghostbusters DVD?
I hope the hell not. What an idiot.

That's a good one, friend.

Easter eggs are everywhere. They have a shell in every detail of our proud modern world. I fear they wish to rule us crackpot. Make us their yoke fueled slaves. They control us from they're hidden nooks.

In fact its a little known fact that 'easter egg hunts' as we know them today were once known as Divine Aquisition of the Hellions and was celebrated by most ancient religions. The 'Easter Bunny's proper name is in fact, Lucifer.

I lead a small group of friends who follow the ancient rights of DAH. We hold back the flood as best we can. If I were to faill, only the Queen Spider knows what would become of this world.

Here's the bottom line. It is ESSENTIAL that I investigate that DVD, please contact me.

Root_Beer_Man 08-25-2003 11:20 AM

Whats this for? *holds up a used condom*

bernadette 08-25-2003 11:22 AM

ok. that was quite the insightful exposé regarding your advocation of running with scissors.

and now i must ask you, what's the dealio with the umbrella distrust?

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Root_Beer_Man
Whats this for? *holds up a used condom*
Those are created by the fairys boy. They give you magical, wonderful powers! Just toss it into the air and you'll be more powerful then the Keebler elf himself.

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bernadette
ok. that was quite the insightful exposé regarding your advocation of running with scissors.

and now i must ask you, what's the dealio with the umbrella distrust?

Obviously you've never seen batman.

baaa 08-25-2003 12:07 PM

ShtE, could you write me an amusing question for yourself?

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by baaa
ShtE, could you write me an amusing question for yourself?
Quote:

Originally posted by ShtE Luck
ShtE, why do you cry?
I cry because I care ShtE. Because I care.

You and me ShtE, we're special, and no matter how many times he beats us with the plunger, he can't take that away.

Take this message to heart wherever you go, only you and I can possibley comprehend it:
Snizzle Nerdlihc Snackle Eht Do Evas

(A Ballchinian goose feather to whoever decodes that.)

Goodbye My Loved ShtE,
ShtE

Midnight_Son 08-25-2003 12:40 PM

ok, buddy!
what the hell works for getting off sticker goo? you know that shit that stays on after you pull off a sticker.
( don't say peanut-butter, it scratches paint...WD40 doesn't work either) so, please help oh wise one!

zodiac3k 08-25-2003 12:43 PM

what's so great about SUVs?

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cnor
ok, buddy!
what the hell works for getting off sticker goo? you know that shit that stays on after you pull off a sticker.
( don't say peanut-butter, it scratches paint...WD40 doesn't work either) so, please help oh wise one!

If I tell you this formula you must follow it EXACTLY.

Heres what you will need:
The Heart Of An Emu
Partially Eaten Apple
Top Hat
Broom Stick
Dung Beetle
Bottle Of Sweat Sqweeged From The Set of Springer
3 Unspoiled Virgins (For that cliche taste)

Combine apple, emu's heart, and sweat in the top hat. Now ride the broomstick like a horse while smacking your bottom. Make three orbits of the top hat on your broom, on the second picking up the dung beetle and placing it on the ridge of your ear. Then have the virgins make a human pyramid. Spread the new solution over said goo, making sure the pyramid stays alligned with mecca.

Or just use acetone, either works.

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zodiac3k
what's so great about SUVs?
Well mine can fit up to 15 bodies, if they're still warm and malleable, 12 if rigamortis has set in. That's IN ADDITION to a cup of coffee. Wow.

Utility truely has met waste (of gas). Thankyou Ford. Thankyou.

ShtE Luck 08-25-2003 02:50 PM

Keep 'em coming

paddyjoe 08-25-2003 03:06 PM

Is flyman really Canadian, or is he just saying that cause he thinks it will help people to like him...................eh?

MacGnG 08-25-2003 03:29 PM

whose the 19th boss in donkey kong?

if there isnt a 19th level, than make one up.

zodiac3k 08-25-2003 04:02 PM

which is better

nintendo or sega?

rmarshall 08-25-2003 06:24 PM

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Fly 08-26-2003 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by paddyjoe
Is flyman really Canadian, or is he just saying that cause he thinks it will help people to like him...................eh?

ya' man....i wanna hear this one too.

Loup 08-26-2003 03:33 AM

Since you are banned, is someone else going to answer your questions for us?

baaa 08-26-2003 03:59 AM

I will.


Ask Baaa all of the impotent questions

pr0f3n 08-26-2003 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by baaa

Ask Baaa all of the impotent questions

OK...
Why won't it go?

baaa 08-27-2003 07:38 AM

It won't go because of your momma

Conclamo Ludus 08-27-2003 08:22 AM

How do you get banned from TFP?

pr0f3n 08-27-2003 12:05 PM

I knew she was the Succubus.

Question #2: How do I banish the banshee?


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