Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Tilted Fun Zone


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-23-2003, 06:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
The Griffin
 
Hanxter's Avatar
 
The Jerry Springer Show

This is your chance to be on The Jerry Springer Show...
First you must fill out the questionaire and let the camers roll...

QUESTIONAIRE
Hanxter is offline  
Old 08-23-2003, 07:19 AM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
The Jerry Slinger Interactive Kinky Sex Special

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Hello everybody and welcome to our special presentation for tonight...Jerry Slinger's Kinky Sex Stories...

Crowd hollers.

Jerry: That's right, tonight we are going to find out all kinds of utterly, utterly, terrifying information about our guests.

The crowd screams.

Jerry: So now, let's introduce...Jenny Jo! Everybody please put your hands together!

Jenny Jo walks out onto the stage dressed up like a Giant Squirrel Suit.

Jenny Jo: Hi Jerry!

Jerry: Hey there Jenny Jo, why don't you tell everyone here what you have to say...

Jenny Jo: Well Jerry...I kind of have a special fetish...

The crowd LOVES it.

Jerry: Oh I see...and you're here to tell Cletus about it right? In the hope that your fantasies can be realised?

Jenny Jo: That's right Jerry.

Again the crowd screams.

Jerry: Okay, okay then, well why don't we bring Cletus in then and see what they have to say.

Cletus appears and walks across the stage, embracing Jenny Jo.

Jerry: Okay, now Cletus, you are probably wondering why you're here...

Cletus: Yes Jerry...

Jerry: Well Jenny Jo why don't you tell them why they're here...

Jenny Jo: Well sweety...I have brought you here to tell you that...

Cletus: You're gay?

Jenny Jo: No! No, that's not it...it's just that I have, well, a sort of fetish...a fetish for Eating wet coffee grounds from between toes...

Cletus: Omigod!

Cletus puts their hand over their mouth. The crowd goes crazy.

Jenny Jo: I was wondering if...you could, well you know...help me with it. I dressed up in this uniform for you and everything...

Cletus: Well yeah...yeah I guess...

Jenny Jo: Really?

Cletus: But on one condition...

Jenny Jo: Anything!

Cletus: I want you to eat Bacon off my armpit...

The crowd goes INSANE.

Jerry: Okay, okay, but now I have to interrupt. Because there's actually something else that somebody needs to tell you Cletus.

Crowd silences, from the shadows emerges Joe Bob, sitting down next to Cletus.

Joe Bob: Thanks Jerry...okay here's the thing...you know how important your friendship is to me Cletus...but, hell, I want MORE...

Cletus: What are you saying?

Joe Bob: I want to have passionate sex with you...

Jenny Jo stands up rapidly from their seat. The crowd squeals with delight.

Jenny Jo: Now wait just a minute!

Cletus: I...I don't know what to say...I...

Jenny Jo: You say no! No is what you say!

Jerry: Okay, everyone please let's just calm down for a second, please, because it just turns out that I now have a suprise for all three of you...

Jerry points to the side entrance onto the stage and Shania appears with a big grin on their face. Jenny Jo leaps out of their chair and lunges towards them, swinging wild punches...

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

The security guard pulls them apart and sits them on opposite sides of Cletus. Jenny Jo wipes away the dribble of blood from their nose while Shania blinks a rapidly blackening eye.

Jenny Jo: You piece of shit, you've always been jealous of me and Cletus, why don't you just face the fact that we're together? Huh?

Shania: Oh yeah you have a great relationship don't you? When was the last time you had sex? Huh?

Cletus: Only 76,458,988 hours ago actually.

The crowd explodes excitedly.

Shania's face contorts and they leap out of their chair towards Jenny Jo. Jenny Jo stands and scoops up their chair, swinging it at Shania in wild arcs. The security guards step in and drag them apart.

Jerry: Wait a second, wait a second, I've missed something here. Why are the two of you so angry at each other? Shania help me out here.

Shania: Well Jerry it's a long story...but basically I asked these two if they wanted to form a threesome with me...

Jerry: A threesome with who? Cletus and Jenny Jo?

Shania: That's right Jerry, I think about them both all the time...

Cletus: Omigod! You're sick do you know that? I don't even want to see you again! I'm in love with Jenny Jo and that's how it's gonna' stay!
The crowd whoops and bellows in excitement. The camera moves out into the crowd and Jerry holds the microphone out to a young woman.

Young Woman: Yeah, I have a question for you down there...Cletus, I have to ask, are you crazy not to want to get down with Jenny Jo and Shania or what? I think you should consider yourself more lucky! Oh and Shania I've got something for you baby..!

The woman flashes her left leg stump for not only Shania but the whole world to see. The crowd explodes in excitement. Jerry steps away and looks sternly into the camera.

Jerry: Well as much as I wish that this could go on forever, i have to draw it to a close...and so i say this - what have morals stooped to in society today if we are even here talking about Eating wet coffee grounds from between toes's and people getting their armpit's licked? People harbouring secret obsessions for best friends, others seeking comfort in the numbers of threesomes. Throughout this all we've forgotten that two of the people down there are quite possibly in love and these peoples friends should respect that rather than just seeking fulfillment of their own desires. Thankyou...and goodnight.

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
JumpinJesus is offline  
Old 08-23-2003, 08:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
::::::::::::::::::::::::: :.
 
bernadette's Avatar
 
Location: this ain't kansas, toto
*throws chair across the stage*

*#^&@& i got tricked into being on this piece of #*@ show!!

this @&#^$ don't belong on no *&#%@ teevee show for the whole #*$*%-ing world to see!!!! just wait til we get out to the parking lot. i got a little sumthin sumthin in mah truck to show the lot of you.
that's right!

*flips the bird, throws another chair & exits stage right*
__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
bernadette is offline  
Old 08-23-2003, 12:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
(drill sergeant uncle phil thinks this is a very funny thread...)
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
 

Tags
jerry, show, springer

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:06 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360