Somenosuke, thanks for being considerate and using the silencers! My ears are my living!
And put that drink on my tab! :)

Well after a no win on the Roulette, I'll have a little look around. How Y'all doing?

Damn fine selection of ladeez YzermansS19.

Thanks for the band assassination, Semenosuke!

Who's on the bar? I would like a cold Bud please.

Gecko, cold bud coming up.

Semeno- Nice job! I appreciate the help :)

richeee- drink coming up

Where is that crazy cat wrkime? I haven't seen him here in a bit.

Thanks, Y-man.
Hey, the next band is starting up. Are you sure you requested a Partridge Family tribute band?

yeah, I second that, thanks. Needed a drink, can't face work tomorrow without a hangover.

Richee if thats the band we may need the ladies services again.

Mad G is right!
Hey Somesonuke, would you mind?
And maybe a hit on the booking agent...
If it's alright with the Y-man, can we do the bookings in house?

KWSN sees that william_wallace has applied for the bouncer position... state your credentials and you might have yo'self a gig.

KWSN - William_Wallace has or at least used to have one big mofo sword. Damn thing must be six foot, called a claymore. It was so good they named a anti personnel device after it. If he's still got it, no punks gonna argue.

*slurp* 'nother bud please.

Yep Richee, we need an in house bookin agent, this is crap.

Somenosuke sits at the bar, leisurely sipping her drink, smirking as her loyal girls return, this time with stun batons. The girls move silently and quickly to the offending "entertainers" and dispatch them promptly, dragging them out of the Inn.

Mmm.. good wholesome entertainment.

You're great, Somenosuke! Thanks.
Y-man! A round of drinks for Somenosuke and Her Squad!

Yep, big clap of hands, for Somenosuke and the girls.

They damn well come in handy!

Gonna have to shoot thru now.
C'yall

*applauds*

Good job everyone....

Wheres that damned wrkime??

That fool hasn't shown up in nearly a day!

Hey Y-man! What's your favorite band or style of music? I'm going to start booking the music, since Somenosuke was kind enough to get rid of that lame booking agent.

Thanks Somenosuke! You and your girls certainly get the job done! If I werent a bargirl - that'd be my profession!

Drinks anyone?

*coughs dust and dirt out of mouth*
Miranda*he says weakly*
Where have You been? *he says hoarsly*
The usual.....
*arghhhhh...*

Holy Shit! What happened to you!?

Three shots of Jagermeister with a pint of Guiness chaser coming right up.

*gasps* Where have You been, darling?
The service here is atrocious without You!
I've been dying of thirst, but now that I see You, holding my head in Your lap, I think it was You I needed more than a drink! You truly are a sight for sore eyes!

Hey man...(looks at richee) can you hold my beer for me, I gotta go take the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl, if ya know what I'm sayin'....

Rock is my favorite, followed closely behind by Rap.

TOOL, A Perfect Circle Rage Against the Machine, Mogwai, Incubus, Pete Yorn (for those times I'm with the ladies), Eminem, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent, etc.

All great stuff.

Some other notables:
Mr. Bungle
the beta band
The Strokes
ween
311
CKY

Darlin :)

fer cryin' out loud, GSXL, I've got my head in Miranda's lap! Do I look like a drink coaster to you?!?!
Is it a Guinness?

Y-man, the next band is RATM, with Chris Cornell on vocals!
See you in the music room...

Miranda?

ANYONE NEEDING A DRINK!?

Yes Richeee darling? :)

Miranda? Is that You? *gasp/wheeze/cough*
My eyes are blurred from dehydration!
*cough/wheeze/gasp*
Don't leave, Mir!
*goes in and out of conciousness*
Mmmmmmrrrrrrrrrrraaaaannnnnnnndddaaaa!

KWSN - As Mad_Gecko mentioned, I'm good with a claymore (it's being sharpend at the moment, hence the caber parked outside). I also have a large collection of other weapons at my disposal, such as axes, flails, war hammers, and a large battering ram, just in case. I also can employ flamable substances in many a creative way to let people know if they are not welcome.

Such as napalm?

I hope you have some napalm KW....if not, I have some being made in the back.

If you remember correctly, the scene in Fight Club isn't so far off as to what is happening in the back of The Stumble Inn. "With enough soap, you could blow up the entire world"

This place is so alcohol soaked, that a single spark could literally blow up the galaxy. :)

DARLIN!? You there?? Sorry! I had to perouse! I'm back for a little bit, then i've got some business to attend to :)

::wrkime walks in beat up, bruised and bleeding::

mooooaaannnn!!!

::he drops to the floor, unconcious::

Napalm, alcohols, tar, thermite, you name it, i've got a large supply of it. :D

::hearing the discussion about explosives, wrkime rises from his unconscious state::

careful of the sparks....sparks...careful of the sparks.

Bones- Probably washed-up anyway. Good job for kicking them out.


wrkime--don't worry man, sparks aint gonna get you. I'll watch them.

Poor guy, been working him to death. Take the weekend off.

KW....thermite......i like that combination.

I'm in, and i want everything.

Bones, drinks are on me for the next week. Feel free to take 100% of casino revenue for this week. :)

Just give me a couple shots of Bacardi 151.

::wrkime gains full conherency of the events over the last few days::

Well, it all started after I came back from building the go-cart track, batting cages and ballpit. I left here to have by back waxed and the wrinkles removed from my scrotum. I remember leaving the place and I smelled natural gas. At that moment, I remember thinking "God, I hope no one lights a match around here." With that, I turned to make sure that the door was closing behind me, that's when I saw the spark and then detonation. The Back Waxing and Scrotum Smoothing salon was gone. I was thrown 45 feet across the street landing in the display window of the local BDSM clothier. Surrounded by whips, leather masks and assless pants, I made my way back here.

God, I need a beer.

151 coming up.

Just as a side note, I once took 5 shots of 151 and it didnt even phase me. I think it was a fluke, because hard liquor usually wrecks me.

wrkime- Sounds like a helluva ride. I hope your alright. Feel free to take a sick day, me and Miranda can handle it.

Sure bones. Have KW take a few under his wing and teach them.

If some of the more rowdy ones decide to brawl, you and KW are responsible!

I'm back...got some shut-eye and some medical care. Let me just say that I don't recommend the scrotum smoothing...it just gets all wrinkled again.

Bones, where have my kickbacks been?? You're not holding out on me, are you?

Mir...annnnn...daaa....! Thank.....You....
I'll be ok soon......
Thanks for taking care of me....
mmmmm.... You smell nice!!!....

*drifts back into unconciousness, and dreams of soft, fragrant fields in the NZ highlands....*

Some major wierdness going on in here. I hereby make a 24 hour dry period mandatory.

KW, noone gets ANY liquor for 24 hours. And I mean it!

wrkime, cut them off!

hey richeeee?you been smokin' the funny stuff again?

*damn karaoke machine*

miranda dear, can i please have another beer and a shot of jack too?

Miranda, NO! The man is cut off! As is the rest of the bar. Go home, sober up, write some poetry, and have sex.

But dont drink for 24 hours!

No, fly, it was the long dry spell without a waitress, combined with the crap-bands that got to me. Miranda has saved me...
Thanks for the concern, bro'!

Well, no point going into a dry bar.

*turns around and walks out again*

Still have the casino downstairs. Theres just been way too much craziness here.

The kitchen is still open too. Omlettes are good for hangovers.

:)

WooHoo!! Tequila Omelettes for all!!!!

*walks back in*

I'll have a bacon and cheddar omlette, no milk.

*walks over to empty bandstand, picks up a guitar, turns all the knobs up to eleven, rips into "Just Got Paid" by ZZTop*

KWSN thinks you got yo'self a job, william_wallace.

As a matter of fact, Yzerman, KWSN just ran out of napalm the other day. He could use a refill.

Oh, and by the way, KWSN has quite the stockpile of illicit materials in his car, and he needs to offload some. If you're interested, meet him behind the bodega on 44 and 8.

I'll let this slide.

*begins making omelettes for everyone*

Hope you like yours with mushrooms and cheese....cuz thats what your getting.

KW-- I made another batch of Napalm too. Its out back...in the van.

*After the ZZTop and three Tool songs, I put down the guitar to eat the omlette*

Could I get a side order of Napalm to go with this omlette?

Thanks for the napalm, Yzerman. KWSN appreciates it quite a bit.

Now, have you any interest in parts of KWSN's stockpile? He needs to get rid of it fast, there might be a lead on him.

*Miranda grabs richeee and takes him upstairs to the honeymoon suite*
:D

Put what you need hidden upstairs. They'll never find it. If they do, they'll have to deal with the "beast"

What the beast is, I don't rightly know.

Thank you for the storage, Yzerman. KWSN is very grateful.

Anyone in the building can just come to KWSN if they are interested...

:: finishes oiling newly sharpened claymore ::

Thanks for the job KWSN. Question: does it matter if any offenders happen to lose any body parts, and if so, which ones would you prefer they lose?

All of them. Spare no part.

Anyway, I guess I'm cutting the dry spell short. Its been about 12 hours, and we're back selling alcohol.

wrkime, retap the kegs.

*lines up shot glasses for the morning crowd*

consider the kegs re-tapped, CO2 on and ready to go....new case of glasses opened and chilled...ashtrays cleaned, bar wiped down, floors mopped.

Good job. I like the ol bar. Nice mahogany, crafted in Ireland. Finest drinking there possible. Finest beer spilled on it.

wrkime- expect a Christmas bonus this year!

Does anyone know where Joey B is, I heard we all get to take shots at him with a hammer for only $5 bucks.

***JoeyB walks in, suddenly pulls down his pants and puts his weiner on the bar.

For some unknown reason, he challenges anyone to hit it with a hammer for 5 dollars. ***

Hi, Go_AVS, you can hit this with a hammer for 5 bucks....

*Go_AVS hands Joey a twenty*

The first shot only grazes joey's thing, I think the next shots are going to be a little harder, joey looks cold. The next shot catches good, I cringe and can not believe I just did that. I throw the hammer out the front door. Joey is still on the floor screaming. I guess we better get him an ambulance or get him to the hospital.

I tell him sorry, I was not thinking after several scothes.

I go back to the bar for another drink...


then start laughing...

A little help down here?

I know I asked for it, but getting whacked with a hammer hurts more than a little bit.

I apologize for bringing this into your establishment, but

I NEED A DOCTOR!

*Embarrassed and in excrutiating pain, JoeyB struggles to his knees and crawls towards the door.

He finds the strength to apologize to everyone within earshot for the disruption. *


Sorry everyone, next time I'm buying...and I promise to keep my pants up.


*JoeyB lowers his head and crawls out the door*

Hey bartender, how about another Macallan 18 on the rocks..

::wrkime finds a hammer in the street, sees JoeyB walking out of the bar. Remembering the fin he gets for hitting JoeyB with a hammer in the pee-pee he takes a swing.....BAM!!! JoeyB is out for the count::

Oooohh, sorry about, guess that was a bad idea...hey do I still get my 5 bucks? JoeyB??

::wrkime shrugs, tosses hammer into the street and heads back into the bar::

Hey Bones, I see you're getting orally please by JoeyB's harem. Watch out for the brunette, she has some weird ass cold sore on her mouth.

stan the man swagers into the bar steps up to the bar and orders a pink lady

well done bones i havent heard that toon in so long and if a break is what you wnat i think ill give ya one

i think its time you lost jullia

JoeyB took 2 good shots with a hammer in the weenie and one glancing blow...he's okay by me.

Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing? This intrigues KWSN. You had better have resurrected Ronnie Van Zant for this show, or KWSN would be disappointed.

william_wallace, if any sucka messes wit'choo, dice the bastard like a shallot.

KWSN can't seem to get rid of these narcotics, so he hands a Ziploc of crack to everyone in the bar.

yaa hoo smoke em if ya got em

stan the man procalims "see ya folks im off to my crack whores to get some lovin" and runs at top speed to the door with a fat grin

*JoeyB crawls to the door, mustering enough strength, he pushes it open and looks in. He's still quite sore from the ball peen pounding earlier in the day.*

*JoeyB crawls across the same floor on which he was writhing in agony just minutes ago. Despite the chaos of others running past him, he reaches the bar*

stan the man stubles back into the bar a mere 4 mins afterhe left to service his crack whores

"well now that was the finest presents ive recived in a few days

hey isnt that a giant sloth hanging from the chandelier"

*He finds the cash register and noticing that everyone is sufficiently distracted, he pounds the keys until it opens*

"100"

"200"

"300"

"400"

"500"

*after counting off the final bill, he gathers his strength enough to retrace his path and as quick as possible, leave the Inn*

"yes it is i swear it is

it cant be the crack hey everone look up look way up"

*As he leaves, JoeyB looks back and to nobody in particular, mumbles*

"nothing personal....it's just business."

oh ya fire my oh my ignore the sloth nothing to see here folks follow me

ill lead the way to the door

hey while we are all leaving ill take everone for a free ride on my whores

::Mad_Gecko wonders up to the parking lot, looking slightly wide eyed and glassy, BOSS suit crumpled and alligator shoes with that slightly "out all night" look::

Wow, man.. Didya know ther's a fire in the bar, Im a retired fireman, yeah... YEAH.. I was yeah... Fought all the fires I started, with knives, hatchets, stakes, garlic.... yeah... fires.. wow look at the flames.. Y'know I was a retired firefighter once. This is nuthin' could take this fire on if I had one hand tied behind my back.. yeah.. cool fire.. Hey who said sloth. I aint no sloth I used to be a retired firefighter... Yeah.. Wow.. Here man grab this hose yeah.. ppoint it at theat white lin.. yeah thats it..... no gimme the other end, cool yeah..

<<<<<<5nort>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah hey man, there's a fire, no worries I need a pisss I put this fire out with my piss, I gott piss man.. Stand outta the way I'll save the bar...

::Wanders over to inferno, puts damp cloth round the the jewels' and proceded to have that piss that only coke can bring::

....sssssssssssssssssssssssssss......ss..
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sssssssssssssssssssss.....sssssssssss...
sssssssssss......ss....ss.....drip.....

Oh damn.. did I order a drink.. mouth is slightly dry... Could I have a bottle of Sancerre. No glasses unless anyone wants to share. 'Cause I need to talk, man I just need a chat, cause yeah.... Everythings cool man, business is good, yeah.. made eighty million selling medical supplies in China today. Man they bought shiteloads of them funny masks thru my website. Damn I only made em outta cheesecloth, cost nuttin'.

::glazed, and slightly paranoid looking, gecko looks round realising his wang is out wrapped in a wet blanket::

Woah, man... Hey don't do that while.......
Hey, where the vino, fancy a bottle.....
Zzzzzippp... Yeah well, alls cool,..
Could I have a tall glass with some ICE inna bucket, gotta have my wine iced..

Thanks Mad_Gecko, looks like all we lost was the karaoke machine...

wrkime, now we's got a decent Booking Agent, we shouldnt need karaoke machine. However mebbe there's room for a DJ out there for the nights there ain't live music.
Bit partial to a bitta E/X music.. tellya what if y'all agree I'll just go out and sort a room, need some Speakers though..... Got loadsa NRG at the mo for some reason...
::wipes unobvious trace from nose::

*Go_AVS walks back in and sits at the bar, still laughing after seeing JoeyB again.*

*says to bartender*
Can I have another Macallan 18 on the rocks. I got to tell you, this place rocks, I have not had this much fun at a bar other than a strip club in a long ass time.

*still laughing while the bartender gets my drink*

Gotta go now...

There's this deal with a bunch of Libyans I gotta close b4 prayer time.. Y'now dot the eyes and cross the unbelievers...
Be back for a weekend Piss up though... Would y'all mind gettin' some Cristal in though.

::gets in 1977 Gremlin and drives off, notice the Sticker that says MY OTHER CAR IS A BENTLEY::

Phew, good thing the TFP fire department was here to put it out. I'm suprised the whole bar didnt explode in some napalm-fueled fire.

But anyway, lets treat those third degree burns with a few jack n cokes :)

Two Salty Balls
One Sex under the bleachers with a KU cheerleader
Last, but not least, one Violent Fuck.

KWSN asks everyone how they are enjoying the crack. They had better be, it took KWSN hours to make... err, find.... that crack.

I'm saving my bit-o-crack for a bit later, KWSN. Never know when I'll need to go into a berserker rage on a pack of gate-crashing thugs. Should they choose to ignore the first polite request to vacate the premises, the largest piece of what's left will easily fit in a ziploc baggie.

glad to see you guys are ready...you need anything boys? Some free smokes or refill on your beverages?

Oh I'm so tired...

wrkime, its been a long week. I'm going upstairs for a long sleep.

Alright boys! I'm back!
Damn where's the karaoke machine!?
What's been happening!?
Yzermans19 - you go have a break. Me and wrkime will take care of the place.

i was at a friends place a few days ago and i mixed some vanilla coke with bourbon. God darn that stuff tasted like poison. I had to go drink some straight bourbon too wash the taste away.
My point is never mix crappy soft drink with quality alcohol

and thank christ for that.fuckin' wannabes.

"BEER".........oh yeah please

one frosty mug of liquid courage coming right up, Flyman

What a nice break. I'm back temporarily though, I'm going to have to take a nap today.

I'll be back down occasionally to see how you all are doing.

DRINKS AROUND!

I walk in and sit at the bar

*asks bartender*

Can I get a Macallan 18 on the rocks.

*asks bartender while waiting for drink*

Do you know if that JoeyB guy is allright after that whole hammer the penis thing yesterday?

Hey Bones - congrats on Vegas. Let me know the next time you are going. I love that place!!!