|
Thrown in the pokie
A friend raised the bail money Now that's a kind bud! next: pipes |
Gurgle through the joints,
Transferring water about. Morse code under ground. Next: Self Referential Words |
Not sure what you mean.
speaking in the third person, or are stories mine? Revealing oneself through Haiku only fun if there are good stories! or "Bob Dole can get hard" - the former pres. candidate talking 'bout himself. next: flu shots |
flu shots can save lives
unless you are allergic corndogs are so good. Next - nachos |
Don't touch that spicy cheese!
Though inviting over chips it is nacho cheese. dy156 Here's what I had in mind: Pentasyllabic is sesquipedalian obfustication. Each word but one refers to itself. Enough of that, though. Next topic: A burnt out flourescent tube. |
It's dark over there.
But the buzzing stopped! Where is my ladder? Next: The Mall |
It's so expensive,
I'm not sure why I come here... Check out that hot girl Next: Burning Bridges |
Tophat665
glad I didn't get it because I couldn't do that! I'll never see them ever again, but that's good because of last night. Next:tangled Christmas lights |
I am sitting here
in the tangled christmas lights can I reach the booze Next: The Hebrew Hammer |
This hebrew will fight
For everything that is right All throughout the night Next: Pointless threads |
The threads have no point
And yet I sit and read them Why do I do so? Next: Dancing shoes |
workboots don't slide well
need old cowboy boots to dance the cotton-eyed Joe next: lysol spray |
Lysol spray is good
Good in that it kills odor Odor from my shit!! next: Laughter as the best medicine |
When you get the runs
why not make jokes about it? you'll sure feel better! next: New Year's parties |
The New Year's Party
Make an ass out of yourself twice in seven days Next: working between Christmas and New Year's |
Clip A in Slot R
Assembly Required My Post Christmas Job Next: The Rolling Stones |
a classic rock band
a cultural magazine one gathers no moss next: window shopping |
splashed by that car
but needed a look maybe time to move on Next: Video games |
Games are the devil
people get so pale from them whatever, eat fish! next - Jesus |
Another Haiku?
Jesus Christ, when will it end? OK next: pizza |
much tomato sauce
sausage pepperoni cheese and some veggies, too! it's best with friends and maybe beer to wash it down forget the diet next: caller ID |
who teh fuck is that?
oh god, its my job again! dont pick up the phone! next - pennsylvania |
pennsylvania
is not like trannsylvania which is deceptive |
nothing nada zilch
slimshaydee forgot next word so i improvise next: email |
I can't fathom it.
What did one do bfore email? really write letters? next: pen preferences |
Montegrappa rules
silky smooth, perfect balance eats Mont Blanc upstarts If you'd be so kind: life with no TV |
don't know what to watch?
the sunset can be pretty a starry night too. seeing boobs and crotch none take time to be witty Jan. -fewer haiku next: crotches |
we all have crotches
please wash them regularly no one likes the funk next: Pabst Blue Ribbon |
We are not gloating
Hell, this isn't even beer It's Pabst Blue Ribbon next: the nutritional properties of semen |
semen is tasty
it even clears up your skin it's Atkins friendly next : milking the prostate. |
yikes! that sounds NASTY
i won't even google it i'd rather not know next: Bush |
Bush you're time is up
let a Democrat in now to feel free again next: Iraq |
Iraq sucked big ones
But we all laid some smack down Who yo daddy bitch? Next: Incontinence. |
incontinence is
OK, I guess, as long as you're old or something.... (eurgh) next: Sideshow Bob |
behind heavy iron bars
hopefully not dropping the soap or saying hello bart to me Next: snow |
a heavenly sight
inconvenient sometimes chance in hell is null next: rubber ducky |
yellow and squeaky
so fun to sing and play with ernie's bathtime friend next: superstitions |
I'm superstitious
The demons are watching me I fear the black night next: what you did last night |
The power goes off,
Stumble out of bed at night, the last fuse is broke. Next: Power |
Power requires this
energy- the more you have extracts the power next: sex |
Hey baby, lets do
the horizontal mambo Pop goes the weasel Next: We've got power, we've got sex... now gimme money! |
I got all the bills
I'm taking it to the streets 5 dollar blow jobs |
electric lights shine
on entangled young people roll the camera next: Americans don't understand Cricket |
Hey, it's Jiminey!
little loud bugs hop around Sure we understand! next: Pinnochio |
my nose is so long
its too bad its made of wood throw me in the fire next - sandwiches |
bread, cheese, mayo and ham
wrapped and put down my pants stealing from the caf next: classic nintendo |
duck hunt is the bomb
it helped my accuracy plastic guns rock me. next - poker |
Nothing worse than to
wake up hung over and broke from last night's poker Nothing better than knowing you got 'em bluffing and kept a straight face next: Superbowl commercials |
some funny some not
but loads of money in them i don't watch superbowl next: stormy weather |
A lover's quarrel:
the stormy weather finds us wanting drier eyes. Next: midi madness! |
computerised sounds
will always be annoying wish they would be gone Next: nazi ninja pirate robot zombies! |
swords with swastikas;
silent mechanized killers loot treasure; won't die! next: Janet Jackson's jewelry |
The nipple petal
was placed very carefully Janet's show was planned. next: angry youth |
Got Angst? Fight "The Man"!
No! We aint gonna take it! Your Mamma don't dance.... "Fight (Dunh, Dunh!) for your right (Dunh Dunh!)to... Parents just don't understand same as every teen. Next: New Orleans |
Somewhere near the gulf
New Orleans awaits my touch I'll never arrive. Lasers |
Dr. Evil's plan
to bring in the big "lazer" and zap the whole world Next: tablecloths |
don't cry for spilled milk
but red wine on tablecloth now that's pretty bad. next: Wisconsin |
Wisconsin sucks ass
Unless you live there, my bad oh man, you suck too Next - Living in a shitty state, such as Wisconsin |
California and
New York-more people, we've got lots of people, and... Cows and horses too. Farm animals make much shit, so we're shittiest! Next: Texas stereotypes |
cowboy hat wearing
bigoted peckerwood twerps now run the planet Next: a frog on a pool table. |
jumping green on green
right on cue, he says ribbit clack! in side pocket Next: spring allergies |
Why, spring allergies
Must you make me sneeze and cry You suck royal ass Next: jewel cases |
hate it when they break
cd cases are better but can't read titles next: resurrecting old threads! |
I'm glad to have the
"Totally Random Bullshit" thread resurrected. Next: the mysterious connection between armpits and ceiling fans. |
something you do not
usually look at or see but it collects dirt ...accidentally sleeping in... |
Was that my alarm
Must hit the snooze button now 5 minutes of bliss Next topic...No toilet paper in the public washroom. |
Empty is the Roll
The Panic will consume me Alas, Smelly Hand Next Topic: Waking up in a strangers bed |
Was I drunk again?
Someone is sleeping by me Did I sleep with him? Next topic: a stink with unknown origins |
Did that come from me?
Gotta dry dock the fudge barge... Somebody light a match! Next Topic: Saturday morning cartoons |
Used to be funny
Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny Wanna buy some toys? Horses |
whinny whinny hay
giddy up gallop trot trot saddle up or don't <b>hot weather</b> |
Any clothes is too much
Humidity equals curly hair But beats freezin rain Next topic: Air guitar |
Look at me! I rock!
I'm holding on to nothing I need me a life. minesweeper |
varoom suck suck suck
mines are full of soot and dust daunting task no end <b>bumblebee</b> |
buzzing on the flowers
taking sweet nectar honey is bee poop street lamp |
I like climbing lamps
Sliding down is very fun Until concussion. Dirigible |
Thump side with finger
Blimp! blimp! blimp! blimp! blimp! blimp! blimp! How it got that name useless knowledge |
I'm an expert at
Butchering human carcass Don't fancy it much Next up: tricks with lighters. |
Legs behind my head
Foul breezes ruffle boxers Burnt fart doesn't smell. Next: Banjo pickin' Mormons |
yee haw twang a dang
pickin n a grinnin n thumpity thump thump next: hired help |
both hands are in casts
she seemed like such a nice girl wanted pay up front Next: The real reason the sky is blue |
Scattered light refracts
The shortest wavelength is blue The sun knows this fact Next: Homosexual cats |
Tom cat eyes up Garfield
Garfield doesn't care He's feeling up Bill the cat airport security |
Metal scan, bomb sniff
German shepard laughs and wags Rubber glove scares me zombie paperboy |
In the grey morning,
The paper hits my door step Rolled around an arm. Next: Greetings from "World's Biggest" |
The worlds biggest what?
Maybe male genitalia I win. Next: Scotch Tape |
Todd can't write haiku
write five seven five on a card sotch tape it to screen Next: Pet rhinocerous. |
Oh rhinocerous
Armored pet unusual Catflap way too small Getting busted goofing off at work |
Quote:
|
Boss says I'm Lazy
I think I am smarter than he Mailboy's under my desk Next: Howard Stern |
I saw his movie
Funny, but his TV show Sucks shit through a straw sexual intercourse |
debbie does dallas
great fucking porno movie sex is a good thing chili peppers..........(and not the band) |
ignite. not the band...
red hot red hot red hot hot loves it. loves the firey burn. |
crapsticks! i forgot the next topic...
here ya go: <b>forgetfulness</b> |
I like tacos, hmm?
Oh shit, haikus!? I forgot! Oh hey, a haiku! I hearby decree that the following Haiku shall be written about: Crunchy Tacos! |
crispy crackily
munch munch munch chomp chomp swig beer add some more hot sauce next: new tfp |
Beats a jab in the
(somebody doesn't like blue) eye with a sharp stick next: bees |
Holy Hopping Fuck!
That Burns Like Boiling Acid Bastard Just Stung Me. Next: Radical Surgery with common Household Instruments |
Ice Cream Scoop, the pain
My brain resides in...tuba? Or, am I trumpet I hearby decree that the following Haiku shall be written about: Fez Hats on monkeys |
Shriners go-cart in
parades;raise funds, but monkeys in hats do better next : gymnastics |
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