Pennington

Ok, so we all know that Hitler was not a very nice man. Personally, I don't like him. I think he deserves to be punished.
Unfortuanatly, he's dead. But that doesn't mean we can't pretend.

Rules of the game:
Hitler is retrained on a table in a soundproof room. Each person can do one thing to him at a time, but nobody can kill him. When he dies, the game is over. This game is continuoes, if someone chops off his legs, then you can't kneecap him. All instruments are at your fingertips.

I'll start:

I bitch-slap him.

sadistikdreams

I take a nineteenth centry experimental medical drill, and drill into his ribcage.

(such a fun game. let's me express my sadistikness)

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"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

grumpyolddude

Nutcracker to the left testicle.

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

Peetster

Pennington, this isn't fark. You can say fuck.

I would let him die peacefully after that. The guy was wicked bad, bit he'll get his. No help from me required.

Pennington

I know I can say fuck, I just prefer fsck. Whenever my friends and I are around profs. or parents or just someplace where cursing isn't allowed, we say fuskin' instead and now we say it even when alone. We're geeks

Anyway:

I take a pair of needle nose pliers and rip off Hitler's finger nails and spray lime juice on the studs.

rockzilla

I'll give him a golden shower.

Pennington

At this point, I would take a red hot spoon and scoop out his left eyeball out of its socket, but leave the ocular nerve attached, kinda like a web cam. Of coarse, I would have to make the obligatory "keep an eye out for me" joke. In German, of course.

sadistikdreams

this is true, Bones.

if only he wasnt evil.

__________________
"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."
-Lin Yutang

hearts, by d.a.

crow_daw

I'd shove a Rattlesnake into his asshole.

So he'd have a venomous rattlesnake in his asshole

Which is fun

I mean funny, cause he was a mass murdering fuckhead.

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"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

Sion

so lets see, you all want to torture the guy because he was evil? and you dont see any irony in that?

my personal opinion is that the worst thing you can do to a meglo-maniacal psychopath like Hitler was would be to ignore him, make him feel that he is beneath your notice.

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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

bermuDa

well he's only got one testicle, so I say we cut it off, fry it up, and feed it to him.

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crackpot

I'd like to gently hammer a dreidel into his left ear canal.

MrFlux

I am going to force him to listen to a recording of fingernails on the chalkboard over and over until his remaining eyeball explodes.

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flux (n.)
Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines.

shagnscoob

i heard he only had one testicle in the first place

and someone already mentioned that, lol



id let him live, with no harm done. why fight evil with evil? evil begets evil.

TerresqueÜ

Rub my hand on my sweaty balls then poke im in the eye so he gets pink eye.

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laxative

i'll lock Katie Couric in the room with him.

Slims

hmm, I would use one of Saddams old tricks.

Lock him in a room naked with a network of pipes w/ nozzles over head and slowly drip nitric acid through them.

He will have to watch overhead very carefully to avoid getting dripped on, and eventually he will be unable to continue avoiding the drops and will collapse in agony to suffer a horrible....not quite death as he is 'rescued' at the last minute to prolongue his suffering.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

Xell101

I'd put a spiked vibrator up his ass so I could say, "Hey that guys vibrator is destroying his instestines." After I have a tea party in front of the suffering with all my mad scientist buddies I'd then remove it and fish out the rattle snake which is most likely now dead and pushed up into his small intestive from the vibrator of instestinal doom.

Ashton

platypus

Only one action is fitting...

<b>Circumcise him!!!</b>

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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

Vanquish

Personally i'd use The Hulks dick with superman pushing.

Garbalo69

Interesting...

paddyjoe

Maybe force him to watch a continuous loop of Martha Stewart preparing matzo-ball soup, while force feeding him bagels and lox.

Garbalo69

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

geodaro

I would have to clear everybody from the room (exept Hitler, of course), gently place a nice set of padded earphones over his head, dim the lights, and crank up some David Hasselhoff CD's until his cranium explodes! Does anybody know where I can even buy a David Hasselhoff CD?

m0shing_smurf

make him look at tubgirl.com

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aus5tin

I'm with Sion...

I'll ignore him...aggressivly...while cutting off his left arm from the elbow down, pummeling him with it and screaming "STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!" etc.

ah...catharsis (dotdotdot)

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You cannot trick a bear... he knows a meal when he sees one.

gnort

Just throw him in a country with a government ruled by all the people he hates.

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You had me at Qapla'

Buzz

I would just take him and put him in a cool dark room. As for hitler being a great leader... I not sure I agree. But thats my opinion

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The Only BEER is a Cold BEER.

And a Single Malt will get ya every time.

SaltPork

Germany.
--------
I'd pop out his kneecaps with a grapefruit spoon.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

Leviathan[NCV]

There's a rule you can't use fsck as a replacement cuss word unless you know the command line arguments.

man fsck.


Leviathan

jmf1234

i'll give him the chinese water torture and pour really slow acting acid on to his dick so it takes along time for him to be dickless (alot of pain hopefully).

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Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce

Donkeypuncher

I hear he's big in Germany, so... maybe not such a good torture.

eh. Why waste time on him? If you want him gone, get rid of him and move on. Why draw it out? Someone like that would never learn whatever lesson you were trying to impart anyway.

And yeah, he was one hell of a leader. Just... you know... eeee-vil.

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"take me down, little *Susie*, take me down
I know you think you're the Queen of The Underground"

vermin

FSCK? How the fuck do you FSCK someone? And why Hitler? What did he ever do to you?

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Ogre840

i'd just tie him up and leave him at a Synagog(SP?) and let the jewish people do what they wanted to him. I have to respect him for being such a powerful orator, leader, and all that. i dont have to respect him for all the shit he did.

6 millions jews is the number people remember... no one ever remember there were 6 million OTHERs he killed... 12 million total.

titsmurf

I would shriek: "Eek. I'm in a room with Hitler?" and then go see my shrink and tell him I see dead people.

JohnnyCorpse

I think that I would have to rip out his toenails, whilst I sit on his face... and I have a very hairy ass for being 16.
Then, I would take a few dozen nails, and hammer them into his ribcage so that they formed a gigantic swastika.

...too bad I have respect for Hitler. He is one of my heros, mainly for his ability to raise an army of such tenacity as the Nazis, and brainwash millions of people. Not to mention the SS kicked fucking ass.