Rap Battle!!!!!
 

Me and Halx had this idea after playing around in chat.

sooooooooo let's exchange lyrical dissess to each other!

don't be too harsh cuz someone may whine
but be brutal enough to make it fun!

Here I go yo, here I go again,
Spleen is in full effect,
If y'all get to harsh in here,
I'll go on and break your necks.

The minute it gets nasty
I'm gonna use my Modding Power,
First I'm gonna close this shiznit,
Then I'm going to shower.

So keep it real yo, NO FLAMING.

Yo I break it down then I break you up
With a knee to the face and a kick to the cup
I'm not flamin, but I'm on fire
I'm high on life, only kites get me higher.

Breakin' it down on the TFP....
Bones is the bones to the stones.
Rapping like a fool he thinks he's cool.
Tellin' it to the streets, he makes funky rhymes and crazy beats,
He's the master flash in the monster bash-checkin' it on the TFP.

If you think I'm steppin' lightly, you got another thing comin'
All your jackass posts and I gotta say somethin'
You're a punk
with no funk
couldn't sell you from my trunk
trippin' over typos, hoes and low blows
You're makin my head spin off of my neck
Confusin' with shit to which I say, "fuckin' heck!"
Get off my turf, you aint comin' no nearer
You fuckin' suck, I cant say it no clearer
I throw a bone, you're there like lickitysplit
Doggin' over my words 'cause you know you aint shit
Now it's time
to end this rhyme
watch as I stop on this dime

Lemme tell ya'a little story bout a guy named Bones
Bones say he owns
But all he does is drone

Ain't got no flow
His skill way way low
Shit, he talkin' bout his momma when he braggin' bout he ho's

He notorious
But not like Biggy Smalls
Well actually he got the Small part down if you talkin' bout he balls

If you're lookin' for a real MC forget about him now
He got just about the rappin skills of a pregnant cow

WORD

This K-Dub.

K-Dub out.

i seriously had this thought for a thread today, must be kismet

A'ight stop all your viewin', cuz I'm about to ruin
the forums and the threads that you're used to
I ain't funny, but ho, I'm spanking monkies B
so Nonsense members I hope yer ready for me
now scroll on down, you won't find anotha' sound
dat steps ta da rhymes of the pr0f3n ghetto hound
I'm take a bottle of Ritalin, then chase it with kelp
and stare at a bird while I play with mahself
mah name is pr0f3n, and i post way too often
I smoke like a chimney and wonda y ahm coffin
I'm stupid, all mah posts be is putrid
just like bitin' Humpty's lines, and throwin' in 'Loopdid'
flame me all dat u like, but if u missed it
I'm the one that said Bones' momma is pimpeded
If you cheeto-snackin frumps gotta step to tha pr0f
you best step off, you might catch teh cough


omg.so leet.yes

w3rd

bah... i couldn't rap to save my life, but i'm the world's greatest hypeman ever..


AAAW YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! GET THOSE HANDS IN THE AIR!!!

and the almost puffy-esque "uh-huh, yeah"

b to the o to the n to the e to the s
sucks way too much, can't mess with tha best

Halx? who? what the fuck?
sounds like the brother from howard the duck!
i only rhyme from time to time
but bones got me trippin
he hsould go back to the pimpin

oh and meanspleen
queen of mean
gotta go easy and be kinda cheesy
to keep him from whinin about who's the fochezzy

so i can't really rap
but wtf
i thinks its kinda fun
and after readin all before me i simply can't suck

They call him Z?
Far as I can see
He's just a loon
logged on since noon
how can that be?
It's quarter of three!
He's stuck in a rut
keyboard on his gut
tappin' at those keys
on the tee eff pee...
he gots no life
no girlfriend or wife
Now I think maybe
he types in http:
all he does is post here
I want to make it clear
he just IM'd me
yo, what'up, G?
tellin' me 'bout this rap
but he's just full of crap
so just let it be
and let's ignore Z!

KNEEL TO THE Z MOTHFUCKAS

jolt the dolt
i rather drown in a fuckin moat
his pc ass aint nothing short of spazz

mister bones, you rap quite well
but that doesn't make up for your brutal smell
it comes through my keyboard, oozes through my screen
you're the stinkiest rapper that I've ever seen
this is a website, it should be a delight
but you made it smell worse than a bucket o' pig shite
I don't know what it is, I can't describe it
maybe there's too much fiber in your diet
put a cork in it you foul villain
and let the rest of us get on with our chillin'
werd.

DAAAAAAAAMN HOMIE
You call this rappin'
I see why they call you 'Zzzzz'
Because I'm nappin
When it comes to droppin' bombs,
Hell, me, well I'm a nuke
You ain't nothin' but a smoke bomb, man-
Your rappin' makes me puke

Speakin' of pukin' lets talk about bones
Rappin' at the mike like it's a phone
Bitch, ain't nobody home!
This whole rap thing,
Man, you go and spoil it
Your time is spent much better
When you're pukin' on the roilet
You're logged on to TFP all the night and all the day
Makin posts and posts and posts and thinkin' they funn-ay
The people all be laughin'
But that's only due to the fact
That they all feel sorry for you,
Man, your humor is just wack

K-Dub out.

Imagining kw could win would sure be a sin
He likes to call shit the best thing ever cuz he knows he he will never be just that

So a sit back down and kneel before Z
Cuz Z will fucking whack yo ass until you see three

And bones and his drivel that should be driven
Whackin off to the full monty board
Is his way of livin

Oh phregreen another mighty mod
You gonna make a real post or suck like a sod? (ahem editor note im not even sure that made sense heh)

Oh yeah back to jolt
They call him al
He’s so bad off he couldn’t seduce a sow
Oh and what about halx?
You can’t even hear the x!
Who’s the poor fucker I should pick on next?

I thought maybe kaydoublewe again but rather not waste text

So once again, kneel to the Z
Or I shall run over you ass until you plea

‘oh lord oh lord save from the cripple’
well to do that you must off more than just pointless drivel!

it's a banquet unseen
Started by Z and spleen
but this party's whack
so I spiked the tureen

this blunt tastes like piss
but i'm determined to burn this
like a jew in a furnace
insulted yet? no need to be blue
I just so happen to be born a jew
breathe a sigh of relief, you silly queaf
it's not like I was making fun of you!

so keep on rappin, ya little tykes
but quit grabbin my dick like it was a mic!

the bell is ringing, that must be my whore
I hit reply as I run out the door ;)

a'ight...

yo...

so much disrespect yo way,
mister has to pay
for some pity sex
OH WAIT!
bermuda's gonna try
he aint gonna cry
BUT NOW!
i see a tear
a leaf of fear
from my mouth to your ear,
you suck
and so do i.

pity sex is donated to me
cause the best sex is free
but i have yet to see
any philanthropy

your rhyme scheme's a bore
it's lacking in power
I wish I could say more
but after that whore
I needs me a shower

did I say 'whore'?
I meant titty board!
It's much cheaper, and quite quicker
But for some reason it'll leave you stickier

what the hell, this isn't fine.
yall gonna let this drop off page one?
weren't you havin fun?
or can't you compete with these rhymes?

sit down, you midget, you battle quite well
but I'm still ringing the victory bell
the rest of these chumps have thrown the towel in
cause battling me must be a sin

so bow down to me, cause nobody's iller
than the infamous lyrical thread killer!
now someone close this goofy thread
as bones said, I've killed it quite dead!

roses are red
violets aren't blue
bermuda fucking sucks
and bones does too

whoa that's clever, i'm impressed
but cribbing nursery rhymes
is a sign you're distressed

aw fuck all this, I'll give it a rest
I'm confident in the fact that I'm best ;)

Okay everybody, no need to start a riot
My rhymes'll sparkle, while yours'll fizzle like Sprite.
I wanna start things off, ya know; get to know one-anotha
I know all I need to know about Bones, he raps like one white-ass brotha!
Fair warning: We're Mortals Kombating and there'll be a fatality
Let it be known I'll have a flawless victory and THAT'S true reality.
Louie Anderson just farted, but you can't smell it hardly
'Cuz Bones's rhymes are stinkin' like a sweaty Chris Farley!
Bones, actin' like he's some regular rap super-star
Now I'm here to deflate his ego, and leave a mental scar.
Hey Generic-Snoop, I just left ya like dead meat
Lord know I just shredded into ya like you were frosted wheat.

Yo I just read the first part of this thread the rest of it bores me
You all are rapping your entire life story
I wont use the word YO , I wont say it a once
its so overplayed I'd feel like a dunce
Titled Forum Project is outstanding no doubt
But seeing these raps makes me want to shout
Send me back to the Erogoneous Zone
Its only there I feel truly at home

From the S to the E to the N
Bones' got nuthin' on me
I'm about to begin
I'm the shizzle
For rizzle, dizzle
Bones can simmer
But Sen's got the sizzle

I do it for the love
they ain't no reward
while I'm bustin' the rhymes
he's wankin' on the Titty Board
in "the Zone"
lustin' after cones
he ain't got the meat
that's why they call him Bones

2 all beef patties
Special sauce, lettuce, cheese
Please
I'll wipe you out like a disease
Not even Red Cross can save your ass
Welcome to School
and I'm teachin' the class.
Try to make a play
I'll take you out again
look out baby,
Don't fuck with the Sen!

Aww, its big MC Crow, the lyrical villain
I'll string words together and strap you to the ceiling
So Bones, I'll deflate your head, cause its startin to swell
My mouth is my gun, and I spit lyrical shells
And WhoaitsZ? Hes into the man love
But I'll have to wait, cause the line starts right behind K-Dub
And bermuda, well speakin of triangles brother
I'm into all shapes and sizes, but my favorite is your mothers
I aint forgotten Hal, I had him a dissin planned
But I think I'll abandon it, cause I ain't crazy bout bein banned

(not meant to offend anyone)

you must like right angles, cause my mom's a square
but that probably suits you, it matches the clothes you wear
speakin of triangles, whatsup with your dome?
it's the size of a pea, but shaped like a scone!

as for this battle, I'll check in on it later
thanks to transam I'm no longer the king masturbator!

S to tha N to tha double O Gizzle,
reading your shit is worse than M televizzle.
Your weak-ass rhymes, I'm flushing down the drain
your flow is all fucked up, are you using your brain?
well I've gotta go bring my rap to the masses,
don't try to challenge me, I'll whoop yo asses!

lmao......are any of u....seriosuly emcees?

if we were, we sure wouldn't quit our dayjobs
next time post it in rhyme, you're bustin the flow
as i'm busting a nut all over your floor
cause you interrupted my self-applied handjob!


lol i really don't beat off that much, but it sure is funny to rap about

H12, transam, Sen and crow, y'all ain't worth my time.
Why should I waste time on peeps who cant' even spin a rhyme?
How dare you foos go postin in the same thread as K-dub?!
If all our raps were sandwiches then yours would all be subs.

Now on we go to Snoogans, he's the Swedish rapping king
But he's more like a queen cause a tiara's all his bling
He think he better than us just cause he can rap his name
"S to tha N to tha Double-O Gizzle?"
Man, that shit is lame.

And over here's Bermuda, thinks he's the best rapper there is
But he's far too busy to rap while he's moppin up his jizz
And the worst part isn't just that he's too busy wankin' ta' rap,
It's that even with all this practice, all that comes out still is crap.

K-Dub out.

<i>bobbing his head to the beat and swinging his rolex in the air...</i>

uh-huh, yeah....

Hell Knights who say nee
im about to set My lyrical master peice Free
You aint be knowing all the mad rhymes i be flowin
the stupid look on your face is showin
You look at me Your pants start growin
Mother fucking load u be blowin

You aint got the skills Mr nee
I step to the mic and you flee
The words i bust come in a mirriad
your best flow... IS YOUR Period

where did the titty board go?
It got sucked up in my flow
KWSN you aint no supernova
Cuz you dont gotz no flava


Word
chuch

so a while went by, since hal and i, last had a converstation
we used to game in a UT clan, owning the crap outta the instagib nation
next thing ya know, real life hit
got responsibilities, no more time for this gaming shit
time has passed by, i had taken a little hiatus
figured i'd make a return, see if gaming had out played us
sure as hell it didn't, came to find the tfp community
Hal and many others keep it going for you and me
i remember this place, back when it started as tba-ownz.org
i see that Hal dumped that creation, its permanent home is the morgue
recently paid my last respects to the titty board before it's disappearance
spanked it hard and shot a load so high, had to ask the FAA for clearance
surfin the different boards, found this rap battle thread
so here i am, true story and i'm knockin all you posers dead
sorry to say but all your frontin' is gay like Greg Louganis
y'all are so horrible trying to pull rap lyrics out your anus
you pushed so hard nothin but shit came o'poppin
better make a run for the toilet, yer pushin cotton
take all the shots you want, you'll still miss me
you'll come to know i'm the lyrical Ali
cuz i float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee
you might as well chase your own tail like a lonely dog in heat.

__
ok ok, that was my try. cool thread, i'm interested in seeing how long this will go ;)

Bones knocked me down
but I bounce right back
All you wanna be gangsta's
can lick my sack
Cause I gots the money
and all the fly honey's
all the hot ass bitches
wanna be my bunny

You see its funny
how you think I'll go away
But, I don't run from shit
I stay to fight another day
J-Lo? is that the best that you got?
Your stanky ass rhymes are starting to rot.

You're more like J-Lo
than I'll ever be
With Ben's dick in your mouth
all down on your knees
I could run through the rest
but I ain't got the time
I gotta show you punks
about the rhythm and rhyme.

I'm still teaching this class
so sit your ass down
I'm the Professor
you're just a lame ass clown!

wastin' my time
puttin up a front
for a bunch a weak ass typers
nuttin more than a grunt
so I take you down
a step or two
like a third grade class out with the flu
remedial
for my time
I'm breakin down the simple
one
two
lines

so try and keep up and dont complain
AHHHHHHHHH
Insanity
that is my game
the rightous cause
in the name

of the father
thats why I fight
to the end
you'll die tonight

my words are harsh
my fist are mean
I'm a soul sucker
breakdance machine

I got spins galore
I'll take you to the floor
my windmill attack
have flat out on your back

my poppin style
is to the extreme
I'm a rubber band
if you know what I mean

TFP give respect
to the whitest mother fucker
who reads jet


silly ass silly

my whack ass rhymes just got blowed up?
you ain't no dog, you just a pup
I'm the Pit Bull, better yet, a Rott
"Teacher at large?"
Please, I think not

You couldn't teach water
to run downhill
You're rhymes are too fuckin slow
dizzle, I'm the real deal
Like Holyfield,
yeah you know, Evander
You're puny insults
ain't nuthin' close to slander

You can say all you want
that I've got a small dick
just ask your chick
I make you look sick.
Sick in the bed
all pale and weak
I'm a superstar and you're future's bleak.

Leave me alone,
now on your way
come back again
I'll make you pay.

Yes bones your right ,I saw it after I posted
Im just finished smoking that stuff, had me all toasted
So back off these nuts yo, Im warning you now
Im a doberman pincher, ill eat you like chow

Though I will say this, cause I just cant ignore
Sen, you made a good effort, but head for the door
You words they dont rhyme, they just dont make sense
You be better off on the street, scratching backs for 10 pents
Yes I realize, pents is freggin weak
But I just had a slurpee, and have to take a LEEK

My words don't rhyme?
Where'd you learn to read?
I'm not worried about the slurpee
But, man, lay off the weed.

Doberman Pinscher?
I think not
You'll need better than that
get an original thought.

yo..
yo..
unh..
unh..
ya'll raise ya hands, say uhh..
now clap wit me -- uhh, now clap wit me -- uhh..
yo, i ain't nice
but dat don't mean ya'll got tah steal my ice
ya'll may call me bad names, maybe even turd
all i gotta say to that is, ya'll can't have my ice, word.
maybe i can't rap, maybe i can't sing
but atleast i got the ice to help support my goddamn bling-bling

..im so sorry

oh yeah, bones and others sneakin in the nursery ryhmes
you must be kidding, that's just a waste of my time
Bones you shouldn't be talkin about the ladies
dog musta bit your nuts, cuz you're crazy with the rabies

dude, you're just dreamin, floatin off in never never land
you thought wendy was playin with your cock, then you woke up and found it was your own hand
i know you wish you were straight and could get a girl for real
problem is your gay and even gotta pay rosey palms just to cop a feel
yeah yeah, don't come to me on your knees beggin for mercy
can't stand a grown man crying "hey bro that hurts, see?"
so just go home to your momma, she'll read you more stories in bed
i'm sure your next dream will be tossin peter pans salad

(hehe, agreed bones, all in good fun. good stuff, keep it comin)

dude, you can't be dissin the point you be missin
you gotta learn there's more to rap than just rhymes, so give a listen
there's artwork in matchin the rhymes with a certain syllable
who taught you how to rap, dr sues? god you're gullable
you use lyrics in your rhymes like, goo, boo, and poo
shit, i was bustin rhymes with those words back when i was 2
so when i said, and i quote ".... more stories in bed"
look for pronunciation and syllables while yer 'tossin Petes sal-ed'
but wait, i fogot, you're not that talented
if i were your sorry ass, i would rather be dead

we may have a winner :lol:

Now I'm back from lunch
and I read this crap
Damn
y'all don't know shit about rap.

Disney, nursery rhymes
and Dr. Seuss
gimme a noose
I'm 'bout to cut loose

Don't tell me what I can
and what I can't teach
I'm the professor
so sit down, Screech
You about to get a lesson
in how to flow
You'll always be guessin'
which way I'll go

I could hit you from the left
with a dope ass rhyme
then spin it, mix it, and change the time
groove for a bit
and then drop the funk
somethin' stinks here
man is that a skunk?
Nah it's just Bones dick
smellin' crass
cause he just pulled it out
of another man's ass

Talkin' bout MY balls
bein blue?
Who the fuck are you
Damn Greg Lou?
gainus that is, you know
the queer
C'mon Bones,
get your nose out my rear.
Starin' at my balls
to see the color
Damn, you one gay ass mutha.

And now we have a rook
tryin to step up
Don't even think
you can drink from this cup.
All you got is Peter Pan?
Next thing I know you'll say
"Talk to the hand"
Actin like you're cool
and you're the shit
I got news for you
you ain't nothin' but a zit
'bout to get popped
and run down the mirror
Don't mess with me
cause I bring the fear
and I bring the pain
like a dungeon master
Mitz, you'd better speed up
and run a little faster
cause' I'll bust yo' ass
like SWAT on a crack house.
Man, I'm the King of the Jungle
and you just a little mouse.


(kinda fun to let the violence flow once in a while. no offense, all in good fun.)

Bones raps 'bout people fuckin sheep and he thinks that he's funny
But he's the only one who got his dick in a sheep's cunny
His favorite site to visit seems to be the TFP,
But muttonbone.com's the one that gets him off, you see

He usin' Snoop and Biggy to try to draw himself fame
But all he ends up doing is disgracing MC's names
Their skill is on the highest level that there is, ya see,
But Bones is at the bottom rappin' bout bestiality

So many other MC's that I could go right up and slap,
But they so fuckin' lowly that they don't deserve my rap.
You think you even on my level, bring it to my face,
I'll beat you ass easily-- won't even be a case.

K-Dub out.

Bones disses my flow
and mocks my title
I'm suprised he even
knows the word "recital"
Big Popa is the rapper
he wants to be
He's not Big Popa,
rather Big Pussy.
Predict my rhyme?
Follow my flow?
If you're a psychic
you're Miss Cleo.
At least she made money
you broke ass bitch
she had a mansion
while you sleep in a ditch
she's in jail now
and you're lucky your not
cause all the big bubbas
would think you're hot
"he's got a purdy mouth"
you'd hear them say
but you'd fit right in
cause we know you're gay.

And then there's "K-DUB"
ooh, what a cool name.
you ain't no gansta
you're just fuckin' lame
No mention of me?
I ain't worth your time?
You best show some respect
in you're muthafuckin' rhymes
so sit yo ass down
and welcome to the class
learn from the best
as I kick some ass
Ni, Ni, Ni
Look at me I'm a knight
I'd knock your ass out
without a hint of a fight.

alright.

let's try this again, bitches.

so i know i suck dick,
but why'd i find it so easy to click
the "post reply" button?
had i the impression i would get a muffin?
er. i think i may be frontin.
you all made me choke
at least i aint gotta toke
to succeed in this joke
of a game.

so sen, what's the midwest like?
is it some where im gonna take a bike?
be there any hills?
where you get some thrills?
and brag about "mad skills"?

WHAT?

Just call me the bookie
place some bets.
i know im a loser
so are the mets
i aint from the ghetto
but to those who are
you betta mellow
because im coming yo way
complete with automatic rhyme bombs
So I hope y'all can stay
and let me say
I AM THE WORST RAPPER AT TFP!
thanks?

"I AM THE WORST RAPPER AT TFP!"
No argument here,
Damn, that was easy.

Man , Bones raps like he's on fire
Spittin out rhymes like a dirty liar
Others join in the the vicious rhyme
Some got beat, others aint got the time
To churn out raps, hour after hour
Faces look like they ate sumtin sour

The call Me Spiny-Wonka
But I aint here ta taunt ya
I simply came to display
My horrible rappin forte
I can't rap and I can't dance
Even then I wouldn't have a chance
I'm just a white boy, with no thought or plan
I just sit around all day, playin the Megaman

Maybe If I made the time
To sit down and actually think out a line
But I don't, and that's why I'm lame
Aint got no rythem, aint got no game.

But I got one annoument
One Federal Endoucment
While Bones have a Big B on his Cape
He's still the victim of Redneck Rape
Hangin out at the Glory Hole, every single day
His Momma never relized, that he was so gay.

So that's my sorry insult,
The Creed of my cult
Please don't hurt me to bad
I'm just glad
To hang with the big boys
Even though they use Anal Toys.

I'm..sorry too.... *walks away*

Chicka Booma Chicka Booma
Chicka Booma S M A C K.

BOOMA-CHICKA Booma Chicka
booma chicka C R A C K

The small lines that Sen spins are reflective of his rap strength
No, wait, the shortness is more similar to Sen's penis length
He
Likes
To
Break
It
Up
Like
This
To
Make
It
Sound
Like he's a good MC but I'm better pound for pound

Sen tries to make it seem like he's a gangster and he's tough
Oh yeah, Sen, in the Midwest the streets all are really rough.
Two seconds in the ghetto and I bet you'd piss your pants
And then you'd run home crying like a schoolgirl out of France

Your skill isn't enough to merit more disses from me,
So go home, little Sen, you're wastin' all my energy.

K-Dub out.

Good God D'jawl
whatcha doin'
whatcha thinkin'
D'jawl

some good ones! keep em comin. just got home from work, here's my next one....

oh man, wtf? i bust the smooth groovin ryhmes and get called a rook?
Bones needs a dictionary?
shit i was born in east l.a. and i don't need no stinking book
y'all are silly, can't come up with nothin original?
those 2-bit three & four letter rhyes of yours are just plain gimmical
wanna rap with my flavah gotta learn to be more whimsical
bones talked earlier 'bout me droppin names
only thing i'm droppin are lyrical bombs in these word games
ya keep comin back trying to prove something to this society
dont know why
you'll just get knocked out
boys you should just stop fightin me
good thing none of ya rap for a living cuz ya couldn't make a dime
might as well just shut up, better off impersonatin a mime
so get in your bling bling ride of a public bus and pick up a transfer
move on to someone else before you're ripped to shreads like you got cancer.

I been lookin roun' here, lookin good an' feelin fine,
I been cruisin Rouen, France; I'm hustlin, gettin what's mine,
But when I gets to work I got the man who tell me No!
You don' be smokin at your desk, hey bro' c'est interdit you know.

Well I don' like it, baby, when they tells me what to do,
It make me mad, it gets me riled, I gets all flushed an' het up too.
Now I know some mecs, they think it's antiso-cial,
But hell they win with passive smokin' - I buy the tabs, they get the blow.

Now the TFP be goin through some readjustment,
We be representin here while others wonder where the boobs went,
I don' have time to take you down, I got a luncheon appointment,
But I'm back this afternoon; if you step up it's disappointment.

Rrrrrrrrrrrroti de Porc, Hot Dang s'what I been eatin,
They gave me lots of beans - 'hey where my chips?' s'what I been sayin
I drunk me deux cafés, a glass of coke now I be trippin
I come right back on here and what I find? you all been sleepin.

There ain't no doubt, no joke, i represent my spheres of knowledge
Y'all come to me for cars an books an cookin, even porridge
For breakfast jus add honey with a stir you'll all be ready
For dancin, shaggin, drinkin, smokin, rhymin I rock steady.

Bones, bones, bones...yeah I been hearin tha name
and yeah I'll jump ya Bones, tho' I be new to this game
I'll stand you up, I'll take you down 'til spinnin stars is all you see
I learned the ropes at home wit' Mr. D.R.E.

Now here we go again with all this FuckFrance shiiiit,
It's tired, it's old, it's gettin stale; I don't mind cos I'm a Brit
And you and yours who diss the place that gave us Dom and Moët
Will learn it's time to live in peace and spread some love and Joy.

Who's that there right by your name, it can't be you - it's Biggie!
I'll stop this soon, I'll grab a coke, I'll chill and smoke a ciggie,
But 'fore I go you gots to know I think you're very funny,
I laughs out loud to read these rhymes, now go and make some money.

Step aside....

1.2.1.2. is this thing on?
Are you listening, Hal, K & bones?
I rate your rhymes as bad, weak and poor.
Your styles are dead,
You're all too crap for sure.
Next time try to beef it up with some smilies.
I'll kick your asses, UK stylee.


..just warming up.

I'm a 40 drinkin nigga walking down the block
My dick's so big I gotta put it in my sock
peace

K-W-S and N
Likes to be dissin the streets I be in
You can say what you want
You can think what you please
But I spent 3 years in SouthEast DC.

If that ain't a hood
you don't even know
so sit the fuck down
and watch the show

Now I'm gonna change the tone
of this rap battle
give props to the Bones
for all of his rattle
he's the only one of you sucka MC's
that's got the nuts to hang with me

All you muthafuckas
can shut your mouth
3 years in the District
and 4 in the South
Dirty South, East Coast
now represent
At least I ain't suckin' Dick
just to pay the rent.

Don't tell me dissin' France
is all played out
those coward muthafuckers
just whine and pout
I don't care if you are
a fuckin' li-mey
This is gansta rap
Fuck peace and harmony

And don't get me started
on East L.A.
LBC bullshit
man, don't even play
you think you're so smooth
we can see you're wrong
the best thing in East L.A.
was Cheech and Chong

Hell yayuh!

aight, i'll join the gang
blow the dust off my easy stuff
easy as Bones ass
prefers his men real big and buff
like 2 dollar corner ho's
can is so loose
when he farts
sounds just like the wind blows

all these rhymes
y'all aint rappin'
nothin but angry rantin'
so damn annoying
should get my gun
and start cappin
step up to me
its inevitable
you can't win

so where's the judge
just declare me surgeon general
i disected you fools
like back in school
cuttin up a frogs genitals
__
hehe, sorry bones, not tryin to pick on ya, just became an easy target after the gay thing stuck. good rap battles peeps, gotta get to work, laters.

Uh oh, MC Crow, back in the place to bizzee.
Sorry I been gone, yall know yall missed me.
Bones, we coulda teamed up, coulda been great,
but you saw my feet, and decided to hate.
Well, aiight, you done chose your path now,
Step up to me, and I'll lay your ass down.
Mitz and castex, this thread aint for the rooks,
Next time do ya homework, hit the fuckin books.
Crow dont play around, lyrically, I'm a beast.
I'll fuck yall kids up, like a Catholic priest.
Fuck this, I'm done, yall wastin my time.
But if anybody wants some, you next in line.
Big Crow, Ill spread my wings and take flight,
I may be caucasian, but I'm as dark as night.

Mitz's last rap ain't worth my time
can't waste my talent
on a weak ass rhyme

I'm about ta be out
for the next 3 days
you'll have to live without
my badass ways
Goin' cross the state
to Saint Lou-ee
Summer Sanitarium
is where I'll be
Mudvayne, Deftones,
Limp Bizkit, too
and Linkin Park
warmin' up
for the crew
that's the best Rock Show
in the biz
Metallica, sucka
that's where it is.

I can't wait to read
when I get back
all the jibberish rhymes
you MC's are on crack
can't rhyme, no rhythm
ain't got no flow
you're fuckin' rap careers
go right out the window

Until I get back
think on this
you can't fuck with me
cause I'm the best there is.

Hell yayuh!!

later sen, have fun, sounds like it'll be good times. maybe before you go, you can catch this last rhyme....

Bones, K-Dub and last but not least Sen
my onlsaught of words bust your asses wide o-pen
just like you were straight from the jail house
stuffed up the rear by a trouser mouse
all three of you fresh fishes
been turned into inmates bitches

it's pretty clear
the chocolate star highway
is your jurisdiction
the pictures from the private eye
proved that it aint fiction
not sayin i looked, cuz i sure as hell didn't
hope after you were done felchin
you sucked on a breathe mint

omg i'm on fire! can't put me out!
call me butter, cuz i'm on a roll, no doubt!
but truthfully, i'm just a white rappin wannabe
oh man, it sucks to be you
gettin fucked up by the likes of me

(serious though, no offense guys. this thread was a good idea, just havin fun)

Yoo all my homey G's
You all be up in my Shizzy-T
I ain't gonna take no disrespectin hoes
I just be shootin em all in their toes
i smack my dick on their heads
so that they wake up dead
due to massive head trauma
aww man, dont you gimme yo drama!
or i stab you in the face
then i invade your place
and piss in your sink
before you have time to think
about whatcha gonna do
you ain't nothin but a fool
i be spankin all your bitches
i be shitting in their britches (breeches?)
just like the Normandy beaches
those nazis be teachin
all you fools a lesson
about the german's delicatessen
because "eat" in german is "essen"
naw, you ain't impressin
anyone wit dat shit
i jsut go up and hit
you in da face
with that laser in space

then you die.... ass
gawd what an easy genre of music to write for.. and just so everyone knows, i hate rap

Its only easy if you really really really suck. Sorry.

Johnny Corpse picked that name 'cause his lyrics ain't live.
In peril like a horse stumbled on a bee hive.
I wrote stronger raps at the age of five.
"I stab you in the face,
I hit you in the face"
Your simple little threats leave a terrible taste
And a smell
but I won't dwell
On your inspid flavor,
Instead let's move on to your inappropriate behavior.
Now listen Johny Dead,
You come on this thread
Disrespect whats been said,
But only offer lyrics on par with Right Said Fred.
I don't give a crap if you really "hate rap."
But you shouldn't of fucked with us,
Cause now your mom's got the Clap
That's right, that's right
Because we fucked her bareback.

I was told of this thread,
I brought some new battle armor,
but you guys are a joke,
I should have bought some pajamas

well shit, I'm done, I lost, I'm toasted
and it only took you 30 minutes to come and find and post it,
but probably not because you don't believe in rhymes that you lace, kid,
you aren't that smart to realize, you aren't worth any time that is wasted
go home, you didn't know what I got in store
this game is for men, not boys with puberty to wait for.

though they call this rap-battle, I ain't lookin for a fight,
but lickin' bungholes, that just aint right...
your tounge will get sticky and your breath will get bad...
for the rest of the night your gonna be sad..
so before you lap her ass, bitch better use some Zest
and after your through you better hit that CREST!!!

haha, this is good shit... I wish I didn't have a job that requires me to actually do work.

This is so fun I wish I wasn't at work
so I could spend the whole day battling this bones jerk
2 minute post, no shit, take your time
speed definitely degrades the quality of your rhyme
I will give you the rest of the day while I'm making my dough and typing away
to come up with something I feel like spending my time on
besides some bitchy rapper who be needin a tampon

as I read these posts its very obvious too see........
that it would be very easy for you all to diss me......
My delivery's predictable and my rhymes are pretty whack....
which would leave me wide open for you bad ass MC's to attack..
so I am playing it smart before you evil muthas pounce.....
this lame ass white boy is gonna fuckin Bounce.........

PEACE OUT Ya'LL!!!!!!!!!!

chicka chicka poo
chicka hiney hiney poo

my name is baaa and i'm here to say
midlandmadman is a tool
in a major way

lol

Well the C is back to (wickety) whack the battle rappers,
I'll play you all along until you see things like me.
They see my name come up, they all come running like the clappers;
A change of pace is due, thankyou for waiting patiently!

Now,

I went to De La Soul, they came to see us up in Paris
Na-na-na-na-na, this is the daisy age
It's been a while; I saw them in the Toon in '89.
All the little gangstas here would surely be embarrassed,
to see and hear what rocks the boat when you engage your mind

It's not about the drugs, the girls, the cars or drive-by shootin,
My Mummy's not a Ho; I don't think yours is either.
Our women need respect you see, they're on an equal footin,
Just two more shirts to iron, then I'm going to take a breather.

Own this thread? You sure? Hey Bones you don't own shit.
Your silly whines and rants you know they don't hurt me a bit.
I read your lines and with a sigh I worry for your karma.
It's time to quit the streets my man, and try life as a farmer.

The country's wild and free and full of birds and bees and foxes,
The kind that like to dance and kiss and let you in their boxes
You'll feel at home a-diggin, sowin, ploughin all they furrows
For trips to town jump on your horse and you'll get there tomorrow.

I said it twice, I ain't done yet - this world is ruled by lovers.
It's sad to diss and cuss and spend time criticising others.
I know your tongue's in cheek, but Bones you'll get my dander rising.
And when it's up look out, you fool, you'd best get to revising.

Hey wow, oh look he's lost the plot!
His toys thrown out the pram.
Dear Bones don't cry and shout a lot,
your acting reeks of ham.

My life is sweet, i must admit,
But I can swear as well.
Some fuckers tried to break my balls
Those rappers lie there where they fell

This battle rap's a curate's egg,
Invites interpretation.
And if my version gets your goat,
Try haikus for your consolation:)

whoops, i forgot i made this thread
got so tired of redudant rhymes i prolly wish it were dead
but oh well, its alive and so am I
now is the time to show you fuckers why

you
don't
fuck
with
Z!

beeeeeeccccaaaaauuuussseeeeeee he is the man with the plan
and if you get around him you should understand
he'll run you over, crush your toes
turn you from a pimp to a goddamned ho

soooo come on bones
make up something better
and hopefully newer than the members of rolling stones
(and more coherrent than eddie veddar)
cuz god knows your shit stinks worse than chedder





........ or something
im bored

Whoaitz is in my crew,
Yeah he's down with me,
But Castex and Bones,
Ya done like Me Phi Me.

Ya need to drop the mike,
And just let that shit be.
Cause your stank IS worse than cheddar,
It's more like stale pee.

eyeronic, hey I'll meet you apart from the rabble,
I'll beat you at chess and then I'll beat you up at scrabble.
I gots so many words it nearly bring a boy to tears,
Nouns and verbs and adjectives they comin out my ears.
And when I make a move I move the knight to pin the king;
You gotta move tha man and so you queen become my thang.
Fella get the book of Ludo out, you're good at rolling dice;
Try Yahtzee, Simon, Buckaroo, man put you brain on ice.

Yo Castex, if you'd ever played chess
Then you might have known
that knights don't pin,
So sit on down and come back when you're grown.
Maybe if you teamed up with that fat-ass Bones,
The both of you could try me, but never on your own.

Believe me fool that you're a tool
And when it comes to scrabble.
Your threats are weak,
You shouldn't speak,
Cause all I hear is babble.

Now wipe your eyes.
As you surmise
that your demise
is on the rise.
Your tellin' lies,
You'll win no prize.
You're worse than shit.
More like the flies
So step aside
You've had your tries
Don't even dare
"Submit Reply."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!

Just stop your clock there, Kasparov,
cos I was merely testin'.
The pin I meant's the one that means
you lose your queen, no jestin.

And scrabble is as scrabble does,
you're scrabblin' for words.
You're runnin out of rhymes to write
your riposte's quite absurd.

I'm drinkin' beer, I'm smokin joints
the points keep racking up.
If you persist in this charade,
I'll box your ears, you mangey pup.

Yeah, if you keep on, eyeronic,
your demise will be violent.
Shame B. ain't here to help me out,
but he's now in retirement.

I pissed him off, I played him out,
his tail's between his legs.
I hear a whimper here and there,
but full-fat Bones cream? No, just dregs.

Now here we are man, you and me,
just arguing the toss.
I think it's plain for all to see
that C is now the Boss.

I gots the beats, I gots the styles,
I gots the creativity.
Now take your crazy avatar,
and find a more sedate activity.

Like join-the-dots.

my name is castex
I engage in cat sex
cuz beasteality is what I like best

but my second favorite thing in all the land
is pumpin my boy Bones in the can

Hells yeah baaa,
You're feelin' it.
Castex and Bones,
Ain't even shit.
They should pack up, go home,
Just fuckin' quit.
So when I form my crew,
it'll include you,
Whoaitz, Spinach Indeed
and KWSN too.
Alright now I'm out,
cause I have a life.
Goin' to catch a movie
with the wife.
Then we'll be eating steak
with fork and knife.
While C and B be home livin' trife.

You gotta take it slow,
so you can flow.
Don't go that fast,
might end up in a body cast.
To touch my rhyme,
please take your time.
You are just wacked,
my case and point in fact.
Remember... take it slow,
cause you are my ho!

you use a fork and a knife
while your eating with your wife?
Personally, I think that's hella tight

Wow haha I could smoke all of you. So I won't carry on folks.

Asta!!

So what, K-Wise?
I got the paper,
All ready to be smoked
I be takin tokes,
My skill you cant deny.
Because I am SOO FLY
What the fuck's up with "Asta!!"
You be trying to be Terminator,
or just a bad Exterminator.
Cuz such a great job
You oughtta kill that fucky thing in your avatar
before i kill it
and make you drink it's blood
my rhymmin's makin' you flood
your shorts.
creamy, and delicious
cause my style's like my semen
the perfect protien
no fat, in this vat
this funkAY vat
i hope you ain lettin'
my pettin'
fool you cat.

*applause*

i'm whiter than paste.

then ya better make haste
to the beach
get yourself tanned
and not bleached :D

i know, weak. i just woke up though.

Dem Bones they dried and dusty now
Deposed, dethroned, he took his bow
He shuffled off to pastures new
But Battle Rap lives on.

My lyrics shimmy, shake the hood
My readers shiver, so they should
They thought this thread was gone for good
But I'll go on and on.

I'll never stop, I just won't quit, ain't banned me yet, I'm still the best, remain the man, retain the belt and I'll go on and on.

And on and on
and on and on
and on and on
and on and on
and on and on
and on and on
Yes I'll go on and on.

What's up with all these people being banned?
Almost don't wanna post here in fear of being canned!
What did they do? Am I the next one?
I thought this thread was all about fun!
So I sit and contemplate, all by myself
I pull a fat book off of the shelf
Turning pages, I see something I learned in class
It says: "Whatever you do; just DON'T be an ass!"

Don't be an ass. That's all ya gotta do.
Be respectful, and Hal won't ban you.
Don't be an ass. You know it's true;
That dissin' peeps just ain't that coo.

It all starts when you feel immune
Ya start spittin'; rappin' to a tune
You say something stupid and ya wonder why
Your stay at Tilted just had ta die.
Your nostrils are steamin' as you get in your truck
Ya drive to Hal's and say, "What the FUCK!?"
He says, "Hey Buckshot! Didn't ya know?
I banned you 'cause you're a fuckin' asshole!"

Don't be an ass. That's all ya gotta do.
Be respectful, and Hal won't ban you.
Don't be an ass. You know it's true;
That dissin' peeps just ain't that coo.

I never knew that City-of-A could rhyme
Well now I guess he can't.
I'd help out if I had the time
but life's too short, too bad I shan't

Some tiny signs of life I see,
We got the verse and chorus
But otherwise it seems to me
This here MC got nothing for us.

Don't take this diss to heart my friend
An ass I am, no doubt
But let's get real, you can't pretend
your raps are in - they're so far out!

Here's what you do, you burn that book
you print this flow, then bind it
When next you need a rhyme on time
You'll know right where to find it

It's on that self-same shelf up there
Right next to Dostoevsky
Your skills ain't quite beyond repair
:confused: ...Erm, I'm out man. Word. lol

You whities are trying to hard to live the lifestyle
Get off your front porch drop your 40's awhile

Malt liquor ain't where your rhyme should be born
or From a whitey in black heat on a TFP forum.

Your rhymes are all whack, while you pat yourselves on the back
just cause bones took the train on that one way track.

Yeah Bones got banned, don't fret for him bro,
I'm sure deep down in his banned land he knows,
it's a blessing that showed up in a costume disguized,
cause he ain't here for me to knock him between his eyes.

But you poor white boys will do just the same
Step up to the mic, keep pretending like you got game
That banned trian will come back, you'll bored of your own volition
Cause you ain't never gonna make the white boy transition.

You talk about schools, i teach my own house rulezes,
Your white, your rhymes suck, and you lookin like foolzes.

There's only one way this truth's gonna sink in,
step to me my friends, and the truth begins.