READING THE BATHROOM WALLS
 

Did this thread on v3 but I saw a new one that made me think I should post again.
Working in a book store there is some interesting graffiti on the bathroom wall.
One exchange went like this...

In pen "Evolution is impossible and Darwin was stupid."

Penciled under that "Wait 100,000 years and maybe the concept won't hurt your brain so much."

Different color pen with an arrow pointing at the first statement "De-evolution at work"


Any good exchanges in your public bathrooms? What would we find on the walls in the TFP bathroom?

In magic marker Looking for a pretty princess for family parties? Call Spleen at 555-l33t

Or down along the edge of the floor and the wall in some strange substance "World King was here"

lipstick - KWSN is a huge man slut!

pen - This is the K-Dub. All hail my mangina.

In Glitterink, we find the remains of what seems to be the leader of the stall:

Here I sit broken-hearted
Tried to shit but only farted.

If your hose is too short,
and your pump is too weak,
move closer asshole,
or you'll piss on your feet!!


Glad

LOL! Cute thread. :)

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"

Brought to you from a rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

friends don't let friends take home ugly women...

dewey beach, de...

Only you can prevent ugly babies. Kingwood, TX

In blood: Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no righteousness FOR I AM THE VENGEFUL HAND OF LUCIFER - rat

Seen at a public bathroom near Chicago, right above the toilet:


Suspected herpes
(arrow pointing down)

Don't look up here. The joke is in your hands.

A sign on all the stall doors reads:

URGENT

If you see a transvestite with a pink feather boa, a leather vest and fishnet stockings, do the following:

1. Run

2. Call a SWAT team and an animal control agency

3. Tell them both that "Bones the Donkey Fucker" is on the loose again.

In big black texta:

Bones
LOVES
Rooting Donkeys
12021
3223
545
99%

99% = True love!!!

Seen on a toilet wall in very neat writing.

"This place isn't a harbour,so don't come her looking for a tug".

Written at the bottom of the door: "If you can read this, you're shitting at a 45 degree angle"

In one pen, "I FUCKED YOUR MOM!!!"

In another, "Go home dad, you're drunk."

Freddy's Bar, Brooklyn, NY

those who write on heaven's walls,
should mold their shit in little balls,
and thos who read these lines of wit,
should eat these little balls of shit.

beauty is only a light switch away...

perkins library
duke university

Also at the bottom of a door: "Beware of limbo dancers"

anyone can piss on the floor...

be a hero and shit on the ceiling....

....arrow pointing to TP roll........your baby photos....wipe to develop

bold letters......

DON'T BE ALARMED BONES....DONKEY IS ANOTHER NAME FOR ASS.

IT'S OKAY.

In days of old when knights were bold,

And rubbers not invented.

They pulled wool socks up over their cocks,

And babies were prevented.



In days of old when knights were bold,

And toilets not invented,

The dropped their load beside the road,

And strolled away contented.

written on the tp

all you people are sick

On inside of door,

I use the site without giving back
and now i'm really hated
i sit here now cuz they spiked my drink
I got the runs- i should have donated.

above the paper seat protectors: highway patrol hat protector

At a Barnes & Noble:

Jesus is coming... look busy!

if life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.

armand's pizza
washington, dc

On restroom wall in a college bathroom

"you all suk!"

underneath that:

"learn how to spell dumfuck"

There once was a man from Kent,
whose dick in the middle was bent.
To save himself trouble,
he put it in double,
and instead of coming,
he went.

remember, it's not, "how high are you?"
it's
"hi, how are you?"

route 81 rest stop, west virginia

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HIPPIE LOVE??

and

THERE IS NO GRAVITY. THE EARTH SUCKS.

no matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap...

men's room
linda's bar and grill
chapel hill, nc

in a bathroom in my college's art department, people would write bad grout puns in the grout in front of the urinals... a few examples:

the grout gatsby
grout it out
grout scott
grout, grout, let it all out

if u tinkle when u sprinkle...
please be sweet...
and wipe the seat :)

don't know why but this totally cracked me up :lol:

due to excessive toilet paper theft this facility is now under camera surveillance 24/7

thank you
-the management

saw this one at work yesterday. the names of the people have been changed, but they belong to supervisor types in the department I work in.


I stuck my cock in Mrs. Nerf's ass and Sandy watched while masturbating with a pig fetus. I saw God...and Harry.

-The Disgruntled.



dont ask me to explain it. I cant.

Eye level:
Look Up!

A little higher:
Keep going!

At the ceiling:
Quick! Look down, you're pissing on your shoes!

to do is to be - descartes

to be is to do - voltaire

do be do be do - frank sinatra


mens restroom
greasewood flats
scottsdale, az

On a truck stop restroom wall

MY MOTHER MADE ME A HOMOSEXUAL!!
Reply
IF I BUY HER SOME WOOL WILL SHE MAKE ME ONE TOO??

"Hell's bells
This place smells"
Taj Mahal Indian Restaurant, men's room, Ft. Collins, CO

"E Coli eats shit!"
Men's Room, Health Sciences Library, UNC Chapel Hill

and my all time favourite

"Jesus saves."
(Added on below) "And Espisito scores on the rebound!"
unknown location

"Please do not write on the walls"

Written by me.. school bathroom.. after taking a dump and seeing a light going out..

"Its not that the lightbulb emits light.. it sucks all the darkness away.. thats why when a bulb burns out its black"

Ill be damned if the band teacher didnt figure it was me in a heart beat..

others ive seen..

If wishes were fishes the world would be an ocean..

under that

yeah and if stupes were rich you would be bill gates.. get over it hippy

"peace though superior firepower"
"He's dead, Jim. You get his tricorder, Ill get his wallet"
"Beam me up scotty this place sucks"

In a hospital bathroom.. was written

"sperm and urine doners wanted.. leave samples"

Here I sit, on the pooper
Giving birth to an Ohio State Trooper.

(a rest stop somewhere in Ohio)

Don't forget about...


Here is sit cheecks a-flexan
unnnnnnnhhhhhhhhgggggg
out pops another Texan!!!!!

at the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry

bentley's house of coffee and tea
tuscon, az

Here i come to sit and think
but all i can do is shit and stink
I wonder what i ate today
That made my bowels burn away

Those who write on shithouse walls should roll their shit in little balls.
Those who read these words of wit should eat those little balls of shit.

You can shake, you can squeeze
you can jump, you can dance
The last drop won't come out
'till you pull up your pants

I saw this on the walls of a internet cafe...hackers with a lot of time on their hands...

01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011

To decode, go to http://nickciske.com/tools/binary.php. take out the spaces first.

In a port-o-potty:

"Welcome to the mexican space shuttle"

I about died laughing.

it's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere...

written in the dust
on the back of a bus
wickenburg, az

Bathroom wall banter...
 

Some of the writing on bathroom walls, especially in bars, cracks me up.... please write some of the funnier ones you've seen.


-I fucked your momma !
Shut up Dad, you're drunk again...




or another one (from a bar in San Francisco)...

-Here I sit cheeks still flexin',
Just gave birth to another Texan !

My favourite is toilet tennis in the stalls. On the right stall wall it says "Toilet Tennis, look left." On the left stall wall it says "Toilet Tennis, look right." Keeps me entertained if I'm drunk.

There was a club in NY that had the classic "Employees much wash hands before leaving restroom", with the handwritten annotation, "I waited here for hours, and no employee came to wash my hands!"

To tired to work,
to poor to quit,
so here i sit,
Pretending to take a big-ol-shit!

Thank you, thank you. i will be here all week!


no just kidding (i work construction) there are alot of good ones in the porta-shiters on construction sites!

Right above a pisser:
"The Future of our Country in is Your Hands"

One of my all time favs....

Some come here to sit and think....
Some come here to shit and stink....
I come here to scratch my balls and read the bullshit on the walls.

Or

Here I sit in silent bliss, thinking bout this tinkling piss.
Now and then a splash is heard, followed by a tumbling turd.

"please don't flush toothpicks......the crabs around here can pole vault!"

-e. lansing, circa 1985

I'll always remember the first time I saw it, on a condom dispenser at a rest stop on I-80:

"This gum tastes like shit, but it's great for blowing bubbles!"

-Mikey

Saw this one at a bar one time:

"So, I hear this is where all the dicks hang out."

I saw one in a rest stop that made me laugh sooooo hard.... But it really makes no sence. It said........... " Big Ed eats your leftovers!"

I still think thats funny to this day!!!

oh lets not forget this one...



I bold letters "I FUCKED YOUR MAMA!!!"
below in in neat writing... " Go home dad, your drunk!"

we didn't forget it.
First one!

the classic..

Here I sit, broken hearted
Tried to shit but only farted.

bobw: paid a dime, damnit!!!

Here I sit, broken hearted,
paid a dime, only farted.

People who write on bathroom walls,
Roll their shit in little balls.
People who read these words of wit
eat those little balls of shit.

Funny one I read when I was but a wee lad.

Make love, not war
-hell, do both-
GET MARRIED

Women's Restroom
The Filling Station
Bozeman, MT

"They made me do it!"-Some wall in Brixton...

"Grafitti here"-'That toilet' in clapham...

"Fuck Tony Blair"-Red Brick wall, round my ends...

-no matter how much you wiggle,
no matter how much you dance,
that last little drop
will always fall on your pants!

-you smack it, slap it,
or bang it against the wall
but until you put it in your pants
that last drop wont fall

-we aim to please, you aim too, please

If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal...

Revolution Books
New York, New York

on an outhouse at work.......(nasty fuckin' place i might add.)

jesus didn't play hockey cuz he was sick of gettin' nailed to the boards.

*i know.....i know......straight to hell*

(drawn on the door of the stall is a nice big arrow pointing down)

the words under the arrow read "if you are reading this you are now shitting at a 45* angle."

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it.

Women's Restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX

Restroom Grafitti
 

Post Your favorite bathroom Grafitti.
I'll Start ya off

Those who write on bathroom walls,
roll their shit into little balls,
those who read these words of wit,
eat those little balls of shit.

The classic:
Here I sit, broken hearted
paid my dime and only farted.
Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and shit my pants!

In a toilet stall at my school, above the toilet paper dispenser: "CCSF degrees, please take one" ;)

I think that one is pretty funny fernweh. ;)

Same here, except the CCSF bit is different. Generally they say "Arts degrees, take one".

Yup, seen that one Latch (makes me glad I never went back to that deferred BA!)

I like this one...

"I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead."

This isn't exactly written graffiti, but close...
Once I saw a picture of Osama Bin Laden taped to the back of a urinal for people to piss on. It was awesome.

I've seen too many to remember them all but by far the funniest one I've come across is.

JESUS SAVES, Gretzky gets the rebound, he shoots, he SCORES!

Lucky I was in the can at the time cause I almost pissed myself laughing at that one.

Life is like a dick, when it gets hard just fuck it.

college dorm bathroom wall

"Dom Arenas gives GOOD HEAD"

(My name, of course, being Dom Arenas)

"Jesus is coming. Look busy."

An old fave.

This place isn't a harbour so don't come here looking for a tug.

I was once pissing in a urninal and no joke, it said "stupid urinal" with an arrow pointing to the urinal I was whizzing at. I laughed so hard because it was probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen written. I mean who takes the time to write that out above a urinal?

Another one I saw was in a stall taking a leak and it just said "Pork".....

Over the Urinals in the nightclub I worked at in college:
Please do not eat the Big White Mint

On the condom dispenser in the same bathroom:
1: This is the worst gum I ever tasted.
2: Yeah, but it blows great bubbles

In bathroom the basement of the religious studies building:
1: God is dead -- Neitzche
2: Nietzche is dead -- God
3: If you discuss religion in here, what do you talk about in church? Scatology?
4: No, Eschatology.

anyone can piss on the floor....

be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

*bump*

<small>or should that be dump?</small>

"Never sleep with anyone crazier than you."

You said that 10 months ago on page one. Goofball.

heh Munku. do ya possibly think maybe threads have been merged here today?

*chuckles* take a closer look at <strike>mighty mouse's</strike> biljan's post. :D

there was an odd stain on the wall, and writing that said, "i jizzed there.".....

In Bold Black Permanent Marker

QUESTION EVERYTHING

Scrawled beneath

Why?

Socrates eats hemlock

I came I saw I crapped

Notice I didn't say I wiped.

At a Chinese restaurant:

Flush twice...it's a long way to the kitchen.

In a unisex bathroom at a punk concert hall, it was written,

"My butt cheeks are touching your thighs."

I never really found that clever.

However, in the TFP bathroom, let it be known that "Rubyee gives good hed!" in white.

heh my sister used to say this one at home, i figure she got it from school
"be like dad, not like sis, lift the lid before you piss!"
or at our highschool i saw this one:
"i dont remember eating that for lunch!"

here's a funny bathroom story, a coupla weeks ago the bf and i were headed home (approx 2 am) and we stopped at jack in the box/convenient store for some food. i had to go to the bathroom and there was a couple fucking in the stall next to me. and the guy was laughing saying "there's someone in that stall next to us!" and the girl said "so what? she's probably jealous..."
HAHA

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

Here the hair on the seat isnt from someones head