*Tries to block using a Martha Stuart toaster coozie, but is knocked down by bullshit guarantees*

*Tries to adhere his combatants to the walls by throwing used tape and post-its that have already been stuck to something else before (not very sticky anymore).*

Easily defends with public restroom roilet paper

Crushes all opposition with a two month supply of Bloussant.

Despite the appeal of having a firmer fuller bosom, shields with promises of great wealth with only a minimal investment.

Counter-attacks with a left-over piece of formica.

Grabs some stock bought on margin and throws it at you, while being pelted with tiny pieces of formica.

*Deflects stocks with McDonald's Monopoly Gamepieces.

*Throws collection of <i>21 Jump Street</i> videos.

I will dive behind my upsidedown Zambonie and lob a lone breast implant at you!

I'll repel your implant with a voided check and lob a cracked water pitcher at you.

Deflects the water picter with a grill minus the screen.


Grabs some gray coal and starts chukin it.

....no match for the pantyhose i'm wearing.....

*ohh shit....did i say that out loud?*

returns with a dual pointed toothpick that has had one side chewed on.

ha, bouces weakly off my 'Beijing for 2000' banner.


I then throw a pan of my girlfriend's lasagne at you (and it's gunna hurt!)

Ahah! The lasagna bounces harmlessly off of my Max Payne mouse pad (which is being used with one of those mice that have the ball on top).

In retaliation, I hurl a free Hatebreed DVD completely covered in styrofoam peanut directly at your skull!

Hah! I can see you now, trying to pull a horrible advertising ploy out of your skull...

throws: optical mouse at your mousepad

holds up: anna nicole smith to block

I think holding Anna Nicole Smith would automatically take you out of the game, my friend.



Because you'd be dead. Just so we're all clear on that.

hides behind empty milk cartons

uses VZ-300 to launch hacking attack