Helllp!
 

Somebody sa-ave me! Please!

Wait there! I'll send Scooter the Wonder Dog(g?)
http://webpages.acs.ttu.edu/dcavazos...0preserver.jpg

http://www.epa.gov/recyclecity/images/help.gif

Clifford the big red dog to the rescue!!
http://pbskids.org/clifford/shared/i...ables/help.gif

Are you a hot babe, with a nice bust, blue or green eyes, long, straight dark hair, no taller than 5'8", light to fair complexion, simple round face with plain-but-strong facial features, and look stunningly beautiful in a pair of short jean shorts and a tanktop? If not, I probably don't have enough time to save you.

Clarify your dilemma, help is on the way. But don't hold your breath.

Uh, I'm guessing a breath mint is needed here?

If the nature of your emergency is emotional...press one.
If the nature of your emergency is physical...press two.
If the nature of your emergency is psychological...press three
If the nature of your emergency is environmental...press four
If the nature of your emergency is existential...press nine.
If you are being attacked by giant spiders...press five; if the spiders are existential, press seven

For all other emergencies, hang up and dial (212) 679-4111.

*Throws Pyrate a rope....

ahh quit your whinin',pick yourself up and dust yourself off...you'll be okay.