10 nonsense questions
 

1 - Who would win in a fight, a hyena or a rottweiler?

2 - Would you rather fight a 4 stone tiger, of a 20 stone chicken? (assuming both animals were equally aggressive)

3 - Would you rather have to run 1/2 a mile, wearing a coat made of pilchards through a flock of starving puffins; or climb up a telegraph pole which is coated in cheese graters and then jump off into a skip full of mousetraps (wearing only a swimsuit or y fronts and a vest (depending on gender)

4 - Would you rather have the head of a human but the body of a dog; or the body of a human but the head of a dog? (in both cases you had human intelligence, and the dog is a golden retreiver)

5 - Would you rather have to swim 50 metres through a swimming pool filled with hedgehogs (no water, just hedgehogs); or go two years with no sex of any kind.

6 - If you could have the super powers of any comic book superhero or villian, who's would you pick?

7 - Would you go out and eat, at the best restauarant in the country, and eat your favourite meal, all free of charge, if you had to have Chris Moyles at your table, dressed in a nappy (and you cannot blind yourself and he will talk about himself and how great he is for the whole duration of the meal and you are not allowed to strike him)

8 - If you were paid £2 per minute to listen to Chris Moyles tell you his entire life story, in real time, without any break (accept 4 hours sleep every 24) - how long would you take it before you walked out and stopped getting paid?

9 - If a magical wizard offered you a deal that he would give you the skill and fitness to be able to play for your country in your favourite sport, but as a part of the deal you would have no ear lobes (but could still hear fine) and an upside down nose would you accept?

10 - Would you have the brain of Kerry Katona and your own face; or the face of Kerry Katona and your own brain?

1. the egg...

2. yes...

3. only in the summer...

4. i'm a spaniel guy, myself...

more later...

1. A rottweiler. Being domesticated, it's more likely to be healthy and well-muscled.

2. The chicken. At 280 lbs, It would be far too heavy for it's body (which evolved to serve an animal of much smaller mass) and therefore easy to tire/topple.

3. Puffin run. Puffin's aren't that tough.

4. Due to the difference in the way the spine connects to the back of the skull, both of these would lead to severe neck pain. It's a wash.

5. No sex. I've already done it.

6. Superman, but I'm not well-read in the comic book area.

7. If travel expenses are included, yes.

8. A long damn time.

9. No. Being a sports star is not worth much to me.

10. I'd take her face. Plastic surgery is always an option.

1 - Who would win in a fight, a hyena or a rottweiler?

Hyena - they are more aggressive and have a stronger bite.

2 - Would you rather fight a 4 stone tiger, of a 20 stone chicken? (assuming both animals were equally aggressive)

The chicken - it would move slower, and has less modes of attack. A 4 stone tiger would be at least as bad as a pit-bull.

3 - Would you rather have to run 1/2 a mile, wearing a coat made of pilchards through a flock of starving puffins; or climb up a telegraph pole which is coated in cheese graters and then jump off into a skip full of mousetraps (wearing only a swimsuit or y fronts and a vest (depending on gender)

Pilchard coat - in deep midwinter to avoid smell please.

4 - Would you rather have the head of a human but the body of a dog; or the body of a human but the head of a dog? (in both cases you had human intelligence, and the dog is a golden retreiver)


If I had a dog's head, would I be able to talk?

5 - Would you rather have to swim 50 metres through a swimming pool filled with hedgehogs (no water, just hedgehogs); or go two years with no sex of any kind.

Turn this on its head - would you jump into a pool full of hedgehogs to get laid? I wouldn't.

6 - If you could have the super powers of any comic book superhero or villian, who's would you pick?

Tough. I like the simplicity of the black and white view of of Rorschach, but think it would be a hard road to walk. Night Owl, Batman and Iron Man have the toys I'd love, and can e normal when they take everything off. And Superman looks normal enough, but can do magical things.

On balance, I think Superman.

7 - Would you go out and eat, at the best restauarant in the country, and eat your favourite meal, all free of charge, if you had to have Chris Moyles at your table, dressed in a nappy (and you cannot blind yourself and he will talk about himself and how great he is for the whole duration of the meal and you are not allowed to strike him)

I'd do it. I could talk him under the table, and wouldn't be afraid to tell him he's nuts.

8 - If you were paid £2 per minute to listen to Chris Moyles tell you his entire life story, in real time, without any break (accept 4 hours sleep every 24) - how long would you take it before you walked out and stopped getting paid?

I'd give it a go for a couple of months - then take a few years off.

9 - If a magical wizard offered you a deal that he would give you the skill and fitness to be able to play for your country in your favourite sport, but as a part of the deal you would have no ear lobes (but could still hear fine) and an upside down nose would you accept?

The ears isn't a problem - the nose worries me, so probably not.

10 - Would you have the brain of Kerry Katona and your own face; or the face of Kerry Katona and your own brain?

Ouch - I can't think that there's a good deal on either side of that.

My answers

1 - I think the hyena would eat any domesticated dog for lunch

2 - The tiger. At 4 stone you could man handle it, at 20 stone the chicken has a lot of power behind it

3 - Id probably say the puffins, at least you can fight back

4 - I guy who works in my office (in accounts payable) gave the best answer I can imagine to this... he said he's have the body of a human so he could drive to the Orwell Bridge and jump off it... but I think If keep my head

5 - the hedgehogs

6 - Very tough... most people who know me would assume Id say Magneto, but I have to go for Vandal Savage

7 - No

8 - 3 Days

9 - Yeah, I think I would. You could get something fitted for the nose, like the glasses Edgar Davids used to wear

10 - her face. Its better to be ugly than mad.