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#1 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Sydney
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A new approach to health and nutrition.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it .Don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.And what are these?Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.Need grain?Eat chicken.Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop. Q: Is beer or wine bad for me? A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories:animal, mineral, and vegetable.We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements,so that only leaves one thing, right?My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables. Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.My philosophy is: No Pain...No Pain. Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening.Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not!When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!"It's the best feel-good food around!" Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a veggie! One more thing... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt."
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There's a fine line between participation and mockery |
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#2 (permalink) |
Essen meine kurze Hosen
Location: NY Burbs
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Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger.
- Jack Handey
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Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net. |
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#6 (permalink) |
ClerkMan!
Location: Tulsa, Ok.
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Er were is that from?
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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ... "I would like about three fiddy" |
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Tags |
approach, health, nutrition |
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