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07-24-2008, 07:11 AM
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#41 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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He has performed miracles. He made one fish feed several. He has changed Beer into urine (on command, unlike his opponent). He has excorcized the demon (that would be Hillary), and turned her to his purpose. He has walked in water.
He gets clothes whiter, makes breath fresher, prevents fleas and ticks for up to six months, and makes mounds of Julienne fries. He cures the heartbreak of psoriasis (Christ! you don't know the meaning of Heartbreak) and finds that slipper that's been at large under the chaise lounge for weeks. And he doubles on bass. He's new, he's improved, he's old fashioned. / Step right up... // Step right up...
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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07-24-2008, 08:42 PM
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#43 (permalink) | |
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Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin... |
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07-25-2008, 03:59 AM
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#45 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Obama will be President because he doesn't call every German Fritz or Jerry.
-----Added 25/7/2008 at 08 : 00 : 56----- Obama will be president because the rumors about his people being... gifted are twue.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 07-25-2008 at 04:00 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost |
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08-05-2008, 07:14 AM
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#47 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Obama will be president because he is made of teflon and dresses in kevlar, but is soft and fuzzy, and women love to snuggle with him.
Obama will be president because the Race card the McCain Campaign played gave Obama a straight flush. I will forebear to name the suit, though.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 08-05-2008 at 07:18 AM.. |
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08-06-2008, 06:39 PM
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#48 (permalink) |
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let me be clear
Location: Waddy Peytona
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Obama will become president because he will initiate a new enforcement branch called the Federal Bureau of Tire Pressure.
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"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo |
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08-06-2008, 07:17 PM
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#49 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Obama will be president because he as a sweet and creamy center.
4 out of 5 dentists recommend Obama for cleaner, whiter teeth. He will be president because he can put an American on the moon simply by spitting, but won't because it would be impolite. He has trained a parrot to speak in Church Latin. He can convince Black people that Jeremiah Wright is a bitter crazy old man, not unlike John McCain when you come right down to it. When Obama farts, it sounds like Paganini and smells like money. He will be president because his campaign plane is O-Force 1 while McCain's is Fox Force 5, which really is just a pilot.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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08-06-2008, 07:31 PM
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#50 (permalink) | |
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let me be clear
Location: Waddy Peytona
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Quote:
 crackin me up manI liked all of them actually!
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"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo |
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08-07-2008, 01:49 PM
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#51 (permalink) | |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Awww, shucks. I live to serve.
From the McCain Attack ad thread, another reason... Quote:
/ John, John, John. Why so serious?
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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08-12-2008, 08:41 AM
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#54 (permalink) | |
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let me be clear
Location: Waddy Peytona
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Quote:
 I must now compose myself, wipe the tears, take deep breaths... thanks, I needed that
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"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo |
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08-12-2008, 08:44 AM
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#55 (permalink) |
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You had me at hello
Location: DC/Coastal VA
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Obama will win because he's not beholden to the pill lady to stay alive.
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet |
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08-12-2008, 09:05 AM
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#56 (permalink) |
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warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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Hey, has anyone noticed something?
Baraka_Guru, Barack Obama... Baracka_Obama_Guru, or BOG, if you will. Everyone knows that bogs are teeming with life, and this is why Obama will be president. Funny, I never noticed that before.
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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot |
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08-15-2008, 07:46 AM
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#57 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Obama will be president because Paris Hilton will throw her support behind him in October, because it will piss her daddy off.
-----Added 15/8/2008 at 11 : 47 : 17----- Obama will be president because today is Friday, Friday is a Pants Free Day, and he is too boucoup.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 08-15-2008 at 07:47 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost |
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08-16-2008, 01:42 PM
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#59 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Obama will be president, because if not, John Kerry will eat this cute little bunny:
 ALIVE!!!!!!
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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08-28-2008, 06:28 AM
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#62 (permalink) | |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Right on the 50 yard line. I guess he's trying to portray himself as a centrist.
Quote:
(something about sending mccain's daughter to the Republican Convention in a car with Black sails... Sorry, are the voices in my head disturbing you?) Obama will be president because Biden will buy him the election on credit and he'll pay it off over the next 8 years at a 21% low, low, low APR. -----Added 28/8/2008 at 10 : 31 : 50----- Barak Obama will be president because he will be on the revised album cover for Houses of the Holy. He will put a bireme in every garage and a golden fleece in every pot. Barack Obama will be president by recalling the glory that was classical Greece, despite the fact that his opponent was there. He will Hoplitely over that fact.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 08-28-2008 at 06:31 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost |
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08-28-2008, 07:28 AM
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#63 (permalink) | |
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let me be clear
Location: Waddy Peytona
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Quote:
 
__________________
"It rubs the lotion on Buffy, Jodi and Mr. French's skin" - Uncle Bill from Buffalo |
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08-28-2008, 07:54 AM
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#64 (permalink) |
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Minion of the scaléd ones
Location: Northeast Jesusland
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Serious for just a second. (Please, no hitting. Enough of that already. Knock it off! I'll tell mom, and she'll whomp you!) That looks less classic Greek and more antebellum plantation, particularly with the Georgia and Virginia delegations in the foreground.
Seriously, Barack Obama will be president because he needs a fucking FOOTBALL STADIUM for his acceptance speech, and will still have to turn people away, whereas his opponent, if you discounted the delegates, couldn't fill an IHop unless it were seniors eat free day. / We now return you to your gentle mockery, already in progress If Michelle comes out in a dress made of curtains, I will plotz. Plotz, I tell you. Barack Obama will be president because he is the Lord of this Manor.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. |
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| obama, president |
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