A horse I loved pawed my nose, once.

I have tried to be a good duck.

Sometimes I'm a quack.

only two people signed the declaration of independence on july 4th, john
hancock and charles thomson. most of the rest signed on august 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later...

Smoking pot with Allen Ginsberg are some of my fondest memories.
I miss him.

Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace...

I'm the other half since I live about 4250 miles from my birthplace, but I work less than 25 miles from home.

honey is the only food that doesn't spoil...

Speculation is a naughty word.

Sourcream takes on an odd grainy texture if you accidentally
put it in the freezer, but it never goes bad.

bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers were all invented by women...

I am going to invent a Valium bomb.

Bette Nesmith, the woman who invented Liquid Paper, was the mother of Michael Nesmith of the Monkees.
/ And Mickey Dolenz was the voice of Arthur in The Tick

on father's day there are more collect calls than any other day of the year...

I love the scent of Hoppe's powder solvent.

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...eries-head.jpg

damn, i hadn't thought about hoppes since viet nam...

I hunted deer for ten years, and target shooting was a past hobby.

I had a sporterized 303 British Enfield bolt action with a 1 power scope,

and lots of other fun stuff.

Nowadays, I just shoot off my mouth.

/me hopes ring doesn't shoot at him...

I'm stickin' with swords for now.

Relax.

Just so long as you don't stick any of us with a sword.

/ Iai class can be a lot of fun

in shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. hence the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight."

I'm in lust with Mika Brzezinski, Morning Joe sucks without her.

Polak babes are taking over the world!...or should I say Polka babes?

I have the hots for Dorothy Krysiuk who does the morning TV traffic report on Fox29 in Philly...I don't care about the traffic report at all but I like to watch her move and breath. DK on left:

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...6/DKonleft.jpg

I still have a crush on Davy Jones

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h.../davyjones.jpg

i try to look at things from a more grounded perspective...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...easurments.jpg

I believe a lot of things that aren't true.

in english pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...so in old england, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

hence the phrase "mind your Ps and Qs..."

new moon..0% of the moon is illuminated.

Some people failed in some endeavors and succeed in others.

This statement is completely pointless.

many years ago in england, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. when they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

I miss Geroge Carlin already

if you were to spell out numbers, you would have to go to "one thousand" until you found the letter "A..."

3x1=3

e^(iπ) = -1

Carl Williams

Even truth can turn to something fake.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2.../truthlogo.jpg

Truth Hardware recently announced a new economic alternative to traditional oil rubbed bronze plating, titled simply as Faux Bronze (FB).

It is blind ...

http://www.qaya.org/blog/wp-content/...old-bailey.jpg

... and kinda hot.

i am all out of truth...

Yesterday I popped into a 7-11 while on my morning walk to use the restroom and dispose of some coffee. In the restroom I had a mosquito for company.

Let me just say... worst blow job ever.

(Bullshit.)

I don't know how to play the fiddle.