OK, back to reality, this thread has decorated its house with lots of Spring flowers and is also happy to report that its latest orchid acquisition is doing fabulous.

this thread has not yet risen to its level of incompetence
(see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle for details)

THis thread wore it's white wing tips before Easter.
http://www.tedsclothiers.com/product...WING%20TIP.jpg

but this thread doesn't wear 'white' after labor day...

This thread wants tomorrow.

" "

This thread is singing to its probation officer:

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love ya, tomorrow
You're always a day away

This thread can carry a tune all the way to Montezuma.

...as well as to the shores of Tripoli.

This thread wonders if everyone in Libya has very wide feet, to name their capital Triple E.

This thread is somewhat jealous of people who live in Intercourse, PA and is noticing that some prudish types are moving to Blue Ball, PA. As far as this thread knows, there are no prisons in Intercourse or Blue Ball, so that's a plus.

This thread has spent time in Beaver Lick Kentucky. It had a girlfrien in Sugar Tit for a while, and she used to visit the Big Bone Lick State park with it. They broke up when he wanted to take her to the Bong Recreation Area.

this thread would love to be able to ski at cameltoe...er...camelback...

This thread lives in Camelot.

It is not true that this thread ever slept with any of the Kennedys, though it once got a ride home from a party with Teddy on a bet.

this thread never heard of mary jo kopechne...

this thread has weird dreams whenever it naps in the late afternoon

hey, this thread also noticed that.

And for some strange unexplained reason, every time this thread goes to Martha's Vineyard, it visits the infamous bridge on Chappaquiddick. Luckily, there is also a beautiful beach near there.

this thread smiles while remembering, "there once was a man from nantucket..."

This thread talks in its sleep, apparently being chummy with archangels.

Hell, it doesn't know anybody named Mike.

This thread enjoys a freshly cut fruit salad some mornings.

this thread is a tad bit hung over this morning....


*fuckin' gin*

this thread would love to meet nancy sinatra...

this thread wonders what happened to those go-go boots ...

this thread also wonders what happened to the Go-Bots

this thread sees a red door and wants to paint it black...

this thread has seen the girls go by dressed in their Sunday clothes :p

and snappin' their fingers and shufflin' their feet...

I'm hers, she's mine, wedding bells are gonna chime ...so this thread is inviting all of you to the wedding. RSVP to Witness Protection Thread.

This thread doesn't like getting up so early :orly: but is a card carryin' member of the Witness Protection Party.

this thread will party at the drop of a hat...

or the drop of a glove, or a scarf, or a pair of panties...

especially at the drop of a pair of panties :thumbsup:

This thread isn't wearing panties.

and this thread sure ain't wearin' BVDs.

This thread likes to hang its fruit on a loom ...to proudly proclaim its Witness Protection status.

this thread is carefully making its way through the maze that is life...

this thread is actually crashing through the fucking maze of life...........

this thread just realized it has jury duty tomorrow!

this thread hopes jewels does not become one of the Twelve Angry Men.

this thread has not had sexual reassignment.

this thread is a dick...no wait....a pussy.......no,no.....a dick.

This thread believes not in "appropriate", it wants better for the species.

This thread needs to inhale you.

This thread is still breathing.

this thread wants to swallow your tongue...

This thead is going to Ben & Irv's Deli for a tongue sandwish on rye.

This thread's heart hurts.

all your base are belong to this thread

Take two aspirins and call a loved one in the morning.

This thread accepts PayPal for its expurt medical advice.

This thread can be cruel sometimes.

this thread always hurts the ones it loves

this thread is so hurt, to think that you...you lied to me...

This thread looooves drama!

This thread still plays with itself.

They have set this thread up the bomb.

This thread saw its first robin of the season...and here it is.

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/h...File0021-3.jpg

This thread has already witnessed quite a few robins around here where it is not as cold as where ring is.


He rocks in the tree tops all day long
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singing his song
All the little birds on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet

Rockin' robin...

by Bobby Day - Rockin' Robin

This thread weeps the salt that stings.

This thread enjoys licking salty glass. :p

this thread is one salty dog...

this thread wipes off its monitor...

this thread sometimes wants to piss on its monitor ...but the witness protection liaison officer seems to not be into watersports :(

this thread is rumoured to have spent time in romania

this thread wants to be bobby's girl...

this thread sometimes wishes it was bobby. This thread also has thoughts about sneaking into the Ladies Lounge section to see what's going on in there. "Girls' Night Out. NO MEN ALLOWED!" is too much to resist but fear of the law is holding this thread back. Hey you women, what's going on in there?

This thread is happy to be in the crone stage.

this thread fought the law...and the law won...

jeebus, this thread hopes that isn't a disease...

This thread says "hey...don't worry...we're all terminal."

this thread thanks ring for living up to her crone stage ...this thread had no idea what that was, but just searched and found out some info about it. So after The Maiden, The Mother, comes The Crone in the three stages of women's lives. Sounds pretty nice to be sharing wisdom, have power and sexual mastery. Go Goddesses!!! Hey, this thread will look up what men could be doing with all this experience and knowledge just busting out of our trousers all over the place.

This goddess of a thread is wondering if the unborn thread-child wasn't taken from its threadlike womb by aliens. :confused:

Tom Cruise? Sometimes this thread feels like an alien in it's own Witness Protection Program.

this thread wishes it had Jessie's Girl...

this thread heard the boys were back in town...

this thread is a total jukebox hero ...

This thread says "April 12th, 28 degrees F. and snow?"

"Curse swear expletive expletive profanity obscenity potty mouth

expletive...some body get the soap ready......foulmouth....
imprecate...swear swear swear."

This thread knows all that glitters is gold.

This thread has gathered holly, mistletoe, and aromatic herbs to burn in her honor.

this thread likes the aromatic herbs..........

This thread wouldn't mind a little second hand smoke.

This thread is longing for some of BC's finest and doesn't even care if it violates probation.

This thread knows that enlightening someone on how to bust out of
a cage...might require a very large crow-bar.

this thread just sewed a patch on its golf bag...

This thread found itself wondering how many chucks it could chuck if it could chuck wood.

This thread knows from sad experience that trying to chuck the wrong chuck will get it round kicked in the face.

Yeah..this thread knows that all bouncers are named Chuck.

This thread isn't so sure about gun control. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

This thread likes to ride in the car car this thread rides in the car car this thread rides in the car car this thread rides in the car.

this thread knew ol' stewball when he was a racehorse...

This thread likes a Stew and a Chuck.

stu...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...l/stuerwin.jpg

or chuck...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...hucknorris.jpg

which is it?

This thread likes to combine the things it likes.

Chuck:
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...5e614fa88f.jpg

Stew:
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...2/beefstew.jpg

This thread is getting very hungry.

This thread is craving a nice grilled skirt steak, lovingly marinated beforehand of course.

this thread just had 5-grain italian toast, orange juice, and coffee for breakfast...

As I mentioned in the complaint thread, for the first time in its life this thread tried some BK breakfast burritos this morning, the cheesy bacon wrap thingies. Conclusion: they have room for improvment: too salty, not enough saucey. This thread will be making some béchamel onion sauce and bringing it to BK next time. This thread is sort of sorry for always thinking of an attractive women when it hears "skirt steak" ...though it does remember getting slapped for calling Judy a "string bean".

This thread has bad indigestion due to the BK breakfast

this thread could well be on its way to mandalay...

this thread masticates thoroughly before swallowing

Despite thorough mastication, this thread still finds McDonald's burgers nauseating ....

and this thread REALLY has a thing about regurgitation...

McD's is NOT a true hamberger in the spirit of a true burger, it's just a fast food facsimile.

This is a nice looking but rather busy burger that I would enjoy eating, then enjoy any associated regurgitation ...sort of a second helping bonus

[IMG]http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...burger_web.jpg[/IMG]

or this one

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...de20burger.jpg


OK, that's it ...this thread is leaving to eat lunch and having a nice fat juicy fresh burger at Tony's.