In spite of the legal consequences, this thread was sporking big time as it shook hands with it's female probation officer.

this thread is spork-a-licious

this thread has somehow misplaced it's spork....

This thread would like to fight a civil war for the liberation of Jumbo Shrimp. It will base this out of some well preserved ruins, and the front for HQ will be the Offices of a Marijuana Initiative. It's military intelligence will start a reality TV program based on religious truths, and advertise plastic silverware and English China.

this thread thinks that jumbo shrimp is a contradiction in terms

bubba gump blesses this thread...

This thread never knows what it's gonna get.

This thread is as this thread does.

this thread is often caught scratching its head also...

This thread smells like sizzling bacon.

This thread would like to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake to it's new....
Sheriff.

This thread (probably) knows where you live.

It's on its way.

if you're not a gaucho don't be a groucho

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...esscartoon.gif

This thread, pounced on leap day.

This thread came in like a lion but will go out like a lamb.

this thread knows who shot the sheriff...

this thread did NOT shoot the deputy

this thread has one foot in the door........

This thread remains unashamed.

This thread wags its tail.

this thread peddles papers periodically...

This thread is slow and methodical.

This thread wants a man with a slow hand, a lover with an easy touch, somebody who will spend some time, not come and go in a heated rush. But it will take anything it can get.

this thread discovered disappearing ink

This thread can recognize a fellow clever minx.

Can this thread get a witness? Or a table dance?

Hearing "table dance" sent a tingle up from this thread's toe to its head ...or was it down from its head to toe? This thread has not been to Montreal in quite some time, but the Sextuple strip club was an awesome place.

This thread will be having a sonogram tomorrow due to the annoying frequency of Braxton Hicks contractions.

This thread will keep you all in its prayers.

this thread says, "nighty - night...kiss me..."

This thread thwarts the third threat this Thursday. Whereas we will watch with wistful wonder. Avast! Another announcement? Avaunt! This thread makes an assonance of alliteration.

sometimes this thread is witless, but who cares, it got legs!

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...tionPoster.jpg

This thread is sniffling and sniveling but should be snuggling.

this thread believes it will have another beer...

This thread has an hour to wait before the package store opens.

This thread survived a wonder-full lost weekend.

This thread is fully charged.

This thread is well red.

This thread's parents...are both transparent and transcendant.

Isn't it fun?

This thread remembers watching Topper as a child, it was one of this threads favorite TV shows, happen to be about transparent/transcendant couple, very funny. When this thread is put to death, it will come back and haunt all the people posting in this thread, just for fun. If you feel something tickle you under the blankets in the middle of the night, it will be this thread.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...9218426093.jpg

This thread has shed its skin....no need for protection..

oh that reminds me of something..
I found a shed snake-skin in the desert of arizona some time ago..

I imagine the person who invented cigar-boxes..
would be most happy
to know
all the
other
things
they are good for...

this thread has never been to spain...

This thread wants to sing whenever Uncle Phil's around.

This thread wonders why "trivia sections are discouraged
under Wikipedia guidelines."

While wearing only boots of Spanish leather, this thread loves to be bound and whipped by Spanish leather ...but in a gentle, caring way. And this thread wishes to thank Bob Dylan.

This thread now has 'Venus in Furs' playing in its brain.

...oh oh, now I have Venus in Blue Jeans by Bobby Vinton playing in my head. Next will come Memory Lane, Town Without Pity, and Duke of Earl.

Although no one's asked how it went and some skeins are feeling hurt, the ultrasound has confirmed that this thread is carrying undecaplets.
http://www.smileyhut.com/excited/groupwave.gif[
http://www.smileyhut.com/excited/groupwave2.gif[
http://www.smileyhut.com/eat_drink/cheers1.gif
http://www.smileyhut.com/happy/happydance.gif

I do enjoy a cigar once or twice a year, so I'll smoke a good one in your honor, jewels ...and a couple beers, too, they go good with a cigar ...oh wait, a nice old port also goes good with a cigar ...and a fine old single malt scotch. I'll get started on it today.

PS: I still don't get this mysterious expectation thing.

this thread is telling me to ... just ... freakin' ... DO IT!!!

This thread told my dog to enter a seminary.

This thread is not worried about catching cooties,
from the 'Longest Thread Ever.'

This thread drank too much Tokay and spent the evening figuring out ways to train the cooties from the Longest Thread Ever to turn on their creator. Then it woke up in a puddle of saliva and had to spend several eons in most of an hour evolving a spine before it could make coffee and seek out the alka seltzer.

this thread is Oroboros

This thread likes the idea of a turned on creator.

this thread blew by you...

It wasn't in this solar system and it can't divulge which solar system it was in or it would compromise the witness protection program, but this thread witnessed a simultaneous total eclipse of 3 suns.

This thread believes that the course of the universe is determined by God chasing itself in an ever decreasing circle around the universe, until at some point it will disappear up it's own fundament. Not really, but it likes to see the word "circumtheosodomgnosis" in print. (As if some occult hand put it there.)

This thread enjoys being a christened facilitating catalyst.

this thread KNOWS that you can't say that three times real fast...

this thread ain't even tryin' ...

This thread knows, Nobody Does It Better.

This thread becomes ever so slightly tumescent when the thought of Sheena Easton circa 1983 crosses its mind.

One of the reassons this thread is now in witness protection is because of quite noticeable inappropriate tumescence when thinking of Sheena ...going to go look for pics now.

this thread shall enlighten you about the fine art of octagonal entendres

Is that like a double entendre about something you ate, or about something that you foresaw?

are we there yet?

this thread isn't quite there yet...

Where this thread is is neither here nor there.

this thread is everywhere

This thread can 'always' be kissed on a Sunday.


Postscript: this thread likes to tie up loose ends.

this thread can be kissed more than once...

this thread is yapping with Nancy on messenger

This thread can call me anytime.

hello, anytime.

This thread doesn't really know what time it is.

this thread doesn't really care...

does this thread give a flying fuck......?

shoo fly ...this thread is hoping for a shoefly pie with a hacksaw in it ...in case it does get incarcerated someday.

This thread both confirms and denies.

this thread denies any confirmation of denial OR confirmation of any rumors that may, or may not, currently be floating around the interwebnet re: as to whether this thread denied or confirmed.

this thread STILL did not have sex with that woman...

This thread dry cleaned its blue dress...

This thread is a devil in a blue dress.

thank jeebus this thread is not becoming inundated with "sweeney todd" commercials...

This thread is going to be in the next Johnny Depp film.

This thread is mostly horizontal unless, of course, it's being braided.

If it must be horizontal, this thread bears witness that it would prefer to be doing some horizontal jogging, or horizontal mambo when it is more in a mood for dance than exercise. This thread has not been braided since 1969 so it's long overdue.

This thread has gone FLY fishing.

http://ultimatehook.com/images/triple_weave_stone.jpg

BEER! works better for FLY fishing around here.

....damn, that's ^ a good looking fly.

this thread would help Fly catch a fish...

This thread is a Dream Weaver..

this thread is a tartan weaver: http://www.tartanweaver.com/

For a minute there, this thread thought it was in the Dennis Weaver thread.

this thread does not recognize client #9...

This thread keeps rubbing it's little jade amulet but it's not getting any better. It's not getting any worse, either.

Dennis Weaver crashes this thread.

For proper witness protection, this thread always wears seat belts while driving.

This thread has never worn a condom.