OK, back to reality, this thread has decorated its house with lots of Spring flowers and is also happy to report that its latest orchid acquisition is doing fabulous.

this thread has not yet risen to its level of incompetence
(see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle for details)

THis thread wore it's white wing tips before Easter.
http://www.tedsclothiers.com/product...WING%20TIP.jpg

but this thread doesn't wear 'white' after labor day...

This thread wants tomorrow.

" "

This thread is singing to its probation officer:

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love ya, tomorrow
You're always a day away

This thread can carry a tune all the way to Montezuma.

...as well as to the shores of Tripoli.

This thread wonders if everyone in Libya has very wide feet, to name their capital Triple E.

This thread is somewhat jealous of people who live in Intercourse, PA and is noticing that some prudish types are moving to Blue Ball, PA. As far as this thread knows, there are no prisons in Intercourse or Blue Ball, so that's a plus.

This thread has spent time in Beaver Lick Kentucky. It had a girlfrien in Sugar Tit for a while, and she used to visit the Big Bone Lick State park with it. They broke up when he wanted to take her to the Bong Recreation Area.

this thread would love to be able to ski at cameltoe...er...camelback...

This thread lives in Camelot.

It is not true that this thread ever slept with any of the Kennedys, though it once got a ride home from a party with Teddy on a bet.

this thread never heard of mary jo kopechne...

this thread has weird dreams whenever it naps in the late afternoon

hey, this thread also noticed that.

And for some strange unexplained reason, every time this thread goes to Martha's Vineyard, it visits the infamous bridge on Chappaquiddick. Luckily, there is also a beautiful beach near there.

this thread smiles while remembering, "there once was a man from nantucket..."

This thread talks in its sleep, apparently being chummy with archangels.

Hell, it doesn't know anybody named Mike.

This thread enjoys a freshly cut fruit salad some mornings.

this thread is a tad bit hung over this morning....


*fuckin' gin*

this thread would love to meet nancy sinatra...

this thread wonders what happened to those go-go boots ...

this thread also wonders what happened to the Go-Bots

this thread sees a red door and wants to paint it black...

this thread has seen the girls go by dressed in their Sunday clothes :p

and snappin' their fingers and shufflin' their feet...

I'm hers, she's mine, wedding bells are gonna chime ...so this thread is inviting all of you to the wedding. RSVP to Witness Protection Thread.

This thread doesn't like getting up so early :orly: but is a card carryin' member of the Witness Protection Party.

this thread will party at the drop of a hat...

or the drop of a glove, or a scarf, or a pair of panties...

especially at the drop of a pair of panties :thumbsup:

This thread isn't wearing panties.

and this thread sure ain't wearin' BVDs.

This thread likes to hang its fruit on a loom ...to proudly proclaim its Witness Protection status.

this thread is carefully making its way through the maze that is life...

this thread is actually crashing through the fucking maze of life...........

this thread just realized it has jury duty tomorrow!

this thread hopes jewels does not become one of the Twelve Angry Men.

this thread has not had sexual reassignment.