This thread both confirms and denies.

this thread denies any confirmation of denial OR confirmation of any rumors that may, or may not, currently be floating around the interwebnet re: as to whether this thread denied or confirmed.

this thread STILL did not have sex with that woman...

This thread dry cleaned its blue dress...

This thread is a devil in a blue dress.

thank jeebus this thread is not becoming inundated with "sweeney todd" commercials...

This thread is going to be in the next Johnny Depp film.

This thread is mostly horizontal unless, of course, it's being braided.

If it must be horizontal, this thread bears witness that it would prefer to be doing some horizontal jogging, or horizontal mambo when it is more in a mood for dance than exercise. This thread has not been braided since 1969 so it's long overdue.

This thread has gone FLY fishing.

http://ultimatehook.com/images/triple_weave_stone.jpg

BEER! works better for FLY fishing around here.

....damn, that's ^ a good looking fly.

this thread would help Fly catch a fish...

This thread is a Dream Weaver..

this thread is a tartan weaver: http://www.tartanweaver.com/

For a minute there, this thread thought it was in the Dennis Weaver thread.

this thread does not recognize client #9...

This thread keeps rubbing it's little jade amulet but it's not getting any better. It's not getting any worse, either.

Dennis Weaver crashes this thread.

For proper witness protection, this thread always wears seat belts while driving.

This thread has never worn a condom.

nor has this thread ever missed a period...

this thread likes punctuation though it can take or leave punctuality

This thread wants to punch someone so watch out.

this thread has judy in reserve; so, watch out, jewels...

This thread ain't skeered of nobody, not nohow. Preposterously good one, Unca Phil.

This thread felt a moment of angst...

this thread is now teenaged and angry.

This thread got into its Uncle's old Iron Maiden Albums, and is still angry, but now has something to do with it.

This thread is very sleepy and is encouraged to hear that it's Friday in the USA.

this thread just tripped over an untied shoelace...

This thread wishes everyone knew everything on the grounds that there would then be no need for witness protection.

And it can tie its shoes.

This thread went to heaven and came back.

this thread went to hell, and back, in a hand basket

This thread has been given a gift, a wonderful gift, which rings like a bell but resembles prurient seed-pods.

audie murphy would love this thread...

My grandmother would have loved crocheting with this thread.

this thread has just twisted a cap off of another wobbly pop

This thread is glowing;
sensing new empowerment,
exulting in it.

This thread is not bluffing.

This thread was atop a bluff just this afternoon.