bundy

really?
you're a doll, thanks so much! (but do i have to wait another 6months to get them?)


everyone out there thinks that Carly Simon sang, "You're so vain" for Warren Beatty (or was it Mick Jagger? Cat Stevens? Kris Kristofferson?)... but those of us in the know are aware that Carly actually sang it for Bernie after Bernie kicked Carly out of the womens toilets at the local supermarket because she wanted to redo her makeup.

__________________
Ohayo!!!

JumpinJesus

What even fewer people know is at that very momentous event involving carly and bernie, bundy was in the last stall on the right, trying out his new mangina.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

bundy

which i had just bought at JJ's Discount Mangina and Nuclear Warhead Store

__________________
Ohayo!!!

uncle phil

bundy is now working on a matched set of man-boobs to go with his mangina...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Charlatan

uncle phil just wants to sell bundy some of his excessive collection of manziers... None of them fit since he boosted his implant size.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

JumpinJesus

Charlatan has every issue of "16" magazine that featured Shawn Cassidy on its cover. They're terribly dog-eared and are still hidden under his mattress, along with his red flashlight.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

uncle phil

JJ has fond memories of said red flashlight...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Fly

uncle phil would like to have his memory back

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

tecoyah

Flyman has lost his short term memory due to excessive THC accumulation in the bloodstream blocking the creation of neural connections between synapses.

__________________
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

amonkie

Tecoyah used to want to be a doctor, but he kept scaring patients when he kept muttering under his breath "brains.... I just need 2 more brains....

__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

JumpinJesus

in a related deepest, darkest secret, amonkie's plans for world domination failed when tecoyah left medical school. She now spends her days splicing in subliminal messages into her mp3 tracks which she then uploads for users to download on kazaa lite.

Those messages say, "brains.... you just need 2 more brains...."

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Jonsgirl

Unfortunately, she only needs one more brain since JJ happily traded his for a pair of fake vulcan ears.

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Malou

Jonsgirl admits to having seen both From Justin to Kelly and Gili

Fremen

Malou went with Jonsgirl to see Gigli and fell in lust with the usher in the theatre.

__________________
Google

JumpinJesus

and who was that usher? Hmm, fremen?

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

uncle phil

JJ is still thinkin' about charlatan's red flashlight...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Charlatan

Late at night Uncle Phil like to sit naked in the front seat of his car and listen to talk radio... Dr. Laura turns his crank.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jonsgirl

Charaltan is a proud sponsor (and shameless peeping tom) of the Dr. Laura crank turning.

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Charlatan

Jonsgirl spends her afternoons giving Brazilian wax jobs to seniors at the old age home... No payment does she require... just the pleasure of close contact with the aged.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jonsgirl

Charaltan likes to play in his kitten's litterbox, making sandcastles and using the clumps as toy soldiers.

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Charlatan

Sadly, Jonsgirl didn't have many friends when she was little... Her only friend's were her toes (which she gave names to). After long walks she would be wracked with guilt thinking she'd been walking on their faces all day... Even sadder... when her husband took to kissing her toes, she got jealous and stopped talking to them despite their begging her forgiveness...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

uncle phil

the C-man contributed four names for those toes...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

jstory

uncle phil is a woman?????

Charlatan

jstory brings homeless people home so he can use them as airfreshener in his house...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Giant Hamburger

Charlatan hides his vestigial gills by turning his shirt collars up.

Jonsgirl

GH uses the eyes in the back of his head to look down my grandmother's blouse.

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Charlatan

Jonsgirl wishes she had breasts to make hamburgers use the eyes in the back of their heads...

(maybe that secret isn't too deep and dark)

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jonsgirl

Charlatan is a chronic bed-wetter. Only, it's not his bed.......

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Charlatan

Jonsgirl pays me to pee in her bed because she likes it...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

uncle phil

the c-man has a urine fixation...(we'll presume that it's a secret)

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Charlatan

uncle phil can't keep secrets...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fremen

Charlatan's secret is he likes to piss into coke bottles and throw them at the monkeys in the zoo in retaliation for a swing-by feces flinging he had there as a child with them.

__________________
Google

Astrocloud

Freman's secret is that he likes to drink what he finds in coke bottles at monkey cages.

Manuel Hong

Astrocloud was one of the monkeys that threw the feces at Charlatan...hence the "Dark Banana"

__________________
Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)

Fly

not.......very......well......hung........

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Manuel Hong

It's true...I have no penis. But Flyman's out of weed!!!!!!!!

__________________
Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)

Fly

Manuel doesn't know fly very well...........


*never go short in the land of plenty baby*

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Charlatan

flyman keeps a collection of his scabs in a box in the cupboard... he keeps hoping that one day he can exhibit them at the National Gallery...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Jonsgirl

Charlatan contributes almost daily to the scab box. Most have come from poo infested sores that never seem to go away.

__________________
Someday, someone will best me.
But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Charlatan

Jonsgirl has been dipping into the box for years and can't figure out why the bacon bits don't taste like bacon...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke