OCM? Has a crush on Bob, and is secretly envious of Sharon's torrid affair with him.

I miss Bob. The way he'd bring me my paper in the morning, and my slippers in the evening... Sharon, bring Bob home!

I think Sharon has Bob all tied up.

SirLance's pi tastes like spongecake.

Ok, I've had enough of this bullshit. You want the truth?! OCM has Bob hogtied in his basement, and does filthy, filthy things to him every day!

There, I said it. So good to get it off my breasts. Errr, chest.

And nice to have it off there. -thanks.

Bob told me he's pining for (Sharon's) fjord, so I had to untie him...

OCM won an award for the fiddly bits around Norway.

Charlatan holds the prize for the fiddly bits elsewhere.

(Norman Bates, where are you when I need you?)

Sharon slipped in the shower the other day and bruised her coccyx.

OCM? wishes it was his coccyx!

I wish for a lot of things, but a bruised coccyx is not among them.

SirLance and I are going to have a long, hard talk.

hehe...it'll cost ya...

maybe, but not as much as I'd like it to.
(I know I was out of secrets long ago...)
...how much longer do I have to wait out here, sir?

the captain's bars i wore 38 years ago do not count...

Nor my sergeant's stripes, UP. Slightly more recent, a mere 21 years. 3 up and 3 down, baby, and it ain't the end of the inning!

It is my understanding that OCM? wants something long and hard from SirLance, and the Unc wants the pictures!

Since you have all the necessary equipment in your "rec" room, all is well!

ocm?'s rec room has pulleys and chains in it...

unc pill uses the rec room for unnatural practices with Ocm?'s sleeper jammies.

I would say that Fremen has never read Dune but that's not really a secret anymore... No, the real secret that Fremen cannot tell the world without losing face is that he still has a hair cut based on his favourite musician, Vanilla Ice (but sadly, unlike mister ice, Fremen still has the style from the early 90s).

Fremen is a corruption of fresh and semen.

Sharon has trouble following the order of play. This not ordinarily anything more than a mocking offence but in Sharon's case, it all stems from a very bad Wednesday morning in kindergarten.

Charlatan has a riding lawnmower, but he has no lawn.

... because SirLance firebombed it.

Sharon's avatar is actually a picture of Sharon. Her mother *warned* her that if she kept making that face it would stay that way.

So is Charlatan's... except in his case, he bit his thumb and has never been able to get his teeth out again.

mysharona has a pic of orson on her nightstand...

Phil has Orson's heart under his floor boards. It tell's tales if you listen closely.

Charlatan doesn't understand that women will never, EVER find ukeleles sexy.

Except mixedmedia. ;)

Sharon has a tattoo of novelty artist, Tiny Tim on her left buttock. She likes to tip toe through the tulips.

(I licked it and licked it and no flowers came (up)!)

Charlatan's tattoos are all of Disney characters.

crazy, modern Disney characters, that (hopefully) wash off before that big job interview...

uncle_phil likes to get up in the middle of the night and stare at his neighbour's house. It isn't because his neighbour is a hotty or anything like that, rather he just really likes the styling of their front door.

One day he will get the nerve to knock on it, but the timing has to be right. One does not lay hands on such beauty without taking some time to consider it.

Charlatan finds poking bee hives and wasp's nests with sticks great fun.

Medusa films Charlie while he's misbeehiving, then calls Animal Rescue and complains about all the bad puns in the neighborhood.

Fremen constantly preaches "be a do-bee, not a don't-bee", yet he continually sticks his bubble gum under his neighbors kitchen table!

pj has a huge collection of used bubble gum.

The lights were on, the cameras rolling, when suddenly SirLance had second thoughts...

OCM likes to wear his Rodney Rhino Garanaimals with his Louie Lion Garanimals cause he thinks it makes him look cool and rebellious.

mixedmedia makes paintings with her breasts. In and of itself this isn't too weird. The reason she keeps it a secret is that she mails them anonymously to politicians. She includes a note, "Don't be such a boob."

I know. She's a freak.

Charlatan's been thinking of entering politics for no reason other than getting one of my boob pictures.

mixed thinks Charlie's man-boobs would make a good companion for Bundy's mangina.

(I miss Bundy now)