and daoust had to show him which page to start with...(double-whammy, fly...ain't seen that in a while, have ya...)

uncle phil likes to run, laughing maniacally, with scissors.

Medusa99 couldn't afford snakes for hair.

pop drives the beltway against traffic...during rush hour...

Phil works at the Paradise Market in what used to be the bad part of town. Then that trendy bar started attracting the yuppies and now Phil has had to add limes to his usual stock of fotties, blunts, and Kools so the damn yuppies can make gimlets and mojitos.

Damn yuppies. He kills them sometimes and stuffs them in his chiffarobe.

Pop knows it was a chiffarobe because he used to be one of the Queer Eye guys, before they kicked him off for being a fraud.

Fremen is secretly concerned that his shoes are only growing moss on one side. He stands there for days, in the same spot every time, staring down at them with this one concern filling his mind.

Kramus spent his Christmas eve camped out in line to see "Chronicles of Narnia". It wasn't until morning that he realized the theatre was closed...

Sir Lance's early years were spent playing dress-up. He liked to pretend he was a witch with a pet lion in a wardrobe.

BigBen has no wardrobe to play in, but the closet he uses to ride his broomstick in apparentley has another world he would like to explore in it's innermost recesses.

Kramus enjoys the dish of curried Spam. But he will only eat it once it has been puréed and sifted thoroughly - at least four times - to eliminate stray bone fragments.

Every morning flamingdog pours yogurt down his pants and sings "Come all Ye faithful" while watching his Richard Simmons tapes. This does not count as exercise!!

Wicked is actually a Franciscan nun, who prays that the yogurt will be pink today.

sirlance knows that the yogurt is always pink, but he just won't tell anybody...

uncle phil knows why the yogurt is pink and we don't want to know how he knows.

Avoid yogurt for a while.

PoppinJay's employer found his copy of "How to steal from your boss" workbook in his office.

Page 35 explained that smuggling pencils home was easy, if you stored them rectally.

BigBen secretly replaces pencils on his colleagues desks with those pencils he smuggled home.. and laughs maniacally when the colleague chews on said pencil..

maleficent is one of Bigben's colleague's and LOVE's to chew the pencil...

mojo dons tight leather pants just like jim morrison did.

fly feels an affinity for Morrison. They both like(d) weed....eaters!

Fremen tells ribald stories to kids at the library on Fridays. There's a C&D order in place, but he shows up anyways.

Poppinjay hasn't yet learned how to read... so he looks forward to story hour at the library on fridays, especially when Freman tells the stories...

...about Mal's role in the great "Pink Yogurt" scandal...

Sir Lance is four votes away from seceding from the United States.

BigBen was a big Prince fan in the 80's, down to wearing the purple jacket and acting all metrosexual before it was cool.

pop put extra stamps on the envelope when he ordered his latest pair of crotchless sleeper jammies...

Uncle Phill recently came out of a 14 year long prostration induced by the video "Just".

When ask if he knew what the guy said at the end he answered,
"No, I just wanted to belong".

Mantus played soccor when he was younger but had to quit because he damaged his balls.

mojo drinks milk from the family cats saucer............


fuckin' weirdo...............

Flyman is actually the son of a Southern Baptist preacher. He ran to Canada after the entire congregation said... "check your fly, man."

His mother said he was always "zipper-challenged."

Underneath her wicked exterior Elphaba loves ponies, strawberry shortcakes, fluffy bunnies, and the occasional naked romp in a lovely spring meadow.

Mojo is on the run from the FBI for being wicked.
he just changed his name,
and got into town about an hour ago.

Alpha Phi only knows two letters of the greek alphabet.

BigBen can't tell time and one of his hands is smaller than the other.

MojoRisin thinks that Father Christmas is a sexy bitch!

It's a beard thing, best not to ask.

A hot dog makes DonovanDuVal lose control, not so with his identical cousin.

Poppinjay likes to make biscuits in his shorts.

Fremen has no hair on his genitalia.
He tells women who question this state "I keep it trimmed 'cause it feels better..."

In reality, the hair folicles were destroyed in a tragic accident involving a barber's chair, Ether, 5 monkeys (3 domesticated, 2 wild), a 45 gallon drum of carpenter's glue, and a television tuned to Fox News.

I should know, I was holding the camera.

If Fremen tells you I was masturbating during the event, he is a filthy liar. I was trying to call the police with my cellphone, and he couldn't see that with all of those monkeys glued to him. And he was as high as Flyman on that Ether.

fly don't do ether man............



see........Ben sent me the tape of that incident with Fremen......at least so he thought.


what i received in the mail that day was utterly disturbing........there was Ben and "said"monkeys....on my bigscreen having the biggest freakin' banana split i'd ever seen......and..............Ben did use....as i saw with my own two eyes....the banana split as a sexual device on himself........


now you can stop wondering where that tape went Ben.........i got it.


*poor bastard*

hehe.../me knows the truth...hehe...