KWSN

The question is pretty easy to answer for me...

One day, I was just hanging out with a bunch of people I know, mostly just talking, but the TV was on in the background. So we're just kind of idly watching out of the corners of our eyes while we talk, when a Christina Aguilera video comes on. All of a sudden, my friend Eric jumps up, points at the TV and yells, "OOH! Christina Aguilera! I want to jizz down her back!" There was then a long pause. And by long I mean about a minute and a half, with Eric just standing there. Finally he says, "What?" This triggered another couple of minutes of staring before we uneasily broke back into conversation.

It was strange, to say the least.

Feel free to share your moments similar and dissimilar to this one. As long as they have to do with the topic.

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Your arms are broken!

Meridae'n

The other day i went to Shepparton (a town near here) for a race day, and that night we got right on the piss. Me and my mates ended up blind and went back to the motel we were staying at for some beers. The girls that were with us dragged this random bloke back with them (we'll call him 'Rodney'), and he seemed alright so we didn't care.

Anyway, i thought it'd be a good idea for a swim so i jumped in the pool. After i got sick of that i walked into our room to find Rodney by himself waiting for one of the girls who was in the shower. So, to strike up conversation i said "You should go for a swim. I just got out, and it's bloody nice in".

To which he replied "Really, i thought it was a girl. I was just about to have a wank, but you got out".

Very fucking random...

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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

Stiltzkin

Boom! A friend of mine says it.

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The most important thing in this world is love.

crackpot

I walked past a stranger once, and in passing, he said "made in Japan" to me. Neither myself nor my clothing is even remotely Japanese, or Asian, or whatever.
But he sure got me thinkin' about stuff.

KWSN

That is one of the funniest things I have ever heard, and therefore it makes my profile.

Excuse me while I die laughing.

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Your arms are broken!

YourNeverThere

i like to say random things to people more than that. one of my friends once yelled this in an akward pause in a conversation: Getting back to matters of life death and grammer...
that was cool

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

phredgreen

i went to high school with this fella name tygue guion - as i'm sure you can tell, there was a pronunciation problem, so we just called him guido. now guido was the nicest guy in the world, but he came up with some off-the-wall shit. we lovingly refer to them as guidoisms. my faves:

"how much would it cost to carpet florida?"

"if we had three legs would pants cost more? howabout shoes?"

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My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
- Thomas Paine

Opiate

Was sitting around at uni just recently, just out side the food court, when this strange guy with long hair and a goatee walks up to me and goes "hey mate, whats your temperature?" thinking wtf in my head, i promply answer "37.2". he then walks off never to be seen again, no thanks, no nothing.....

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when i am king, you will be first against the wall...

bundy

well, this one time, at band camp...
no actually about ten years ago, at school camp, i was sharing a tent with a certain TFP member who i won't name. anyway he managed to yell out, "I DON"T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING!!" in his sleep without waking up. it woke me up, but not him. i think thats pretty random.

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Ohayo!!!

rockzilla

I work at a homeless shelter, so I come into contact with a lot of drunk and/or crazy folks. One of my fondest memories was when a guy told me he wanted extra food because his wife left him for a pirate. "He got the fuckin' eye patch and everything". I doubt the guy actually had a wife, or if he did that she left him for a real pirate, but it would be awesome if he were telling the truth.

XenuHubbard

I had a bad hangover, and was sitting in West End in Brisbane, eating noodles. A guy comes and sits down next to me. He's drinking cooking port wine out of the bottle. He starts talking to me. The first thing he said was, "I'm a vegetarian."
"Aah, okay", I said.
He says: "I grew up in Papua New Guinea. My father was in the army. One day, when I was 10, I saw the children throw rocks at a mango tree."
"Oh, really?" I reply.
"Yeah. So I became a vegetarian."

I waited. But that was the whole story.
Then we spent 10 minutes arguing whether I wanted cooking port poured on my noodles or not.

Another weird conversation: Brisbane, on a bench in Queen Street:

A guy sits down next to me. This was our full conversation.

"Have you seen Kylie?!!"
"Umm, no. Can't say I have."
"DID YOU SEE IT?"
"Umm, must have missed it."
"FUCK MAN BLOOD EVERYWHERE, POOUF!!!"
"Aw shit..?"
"FUCK YOU MAN ONE DAY I'M GONNA BE JUST LIKE YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!"

I walked away. Slowly. When people don't listen to you, and make up your answers in their heads, it's a bad sign.

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The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me.

"What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000

Loki

when i was in retail, a man came up to me, poked me and said in a heavy accent "you got any moose piss?" i just went "huh?!" he then said very loudly "YOU GOT ANY MOOSE PISS?"

at this point i was trying to contain my laughter, so i just shook my head. He then walked over to a coworker, and asked the same thing. So i ran back to the office and told my manager this. the manager straight away said "ah, the bloke who wants the whiskers cat food".

apparently he comes in every few weeks, and asks random staff members if they have seen the "moose piss" until one of them recognises him and points him to the right aisle.

Hugo A Go Go

Have worked in psych hospitals for 20+ years and,naturally,have hd the damndest things said to me by profoundly schizophrenic patients.
But the one that is forever etched in my brain was the following:
It's 1983 and I'm working at a State hospital in California on a lockdown psych unit.It's 7 A.M. and I'm rolling onto the unit with a massive hangover.
A male patient darts suddenly in front of me and,in a totally deadpan tone of voice,recites the last line of the "Gumby" theme song "..if you've got a heart then Gumby's a part of you."while staring intently into my eyes.
Then,just as suddenly,he walked away.
I could literally feel the neurons in my brain melt.

SaltPork

Someone said to me "No!! They're not blue jeans!" and then walked away.

But he sure got me thinkin' about stuff.

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It was like that when I got here....I swear.

denim

He won! I'd guess he was looking to see your Gumby-ness in your eyes. Do you have any?

Midlandmadman

Once a woman asked me "do you want fries with that?"..... which in itself isnt very random, but I thought It was a bit odd for a hooker to say that.

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Its good to be back.

TerresqueÜ

*points at the quote from TK1 in his signature...*


She said that to me when I showed her this web comic that apparently scared or upset her mentally... She went on after the ... But i figured what I put was enough.

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Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

Sticky

The best ever story of a random act/statement is the story behind the R.E.M. song What's the Frecuency Kenneth?

Apparently some guy came up to Dan Rather out of nowhere while he was walking on the street and started beating the crap out of him while yelling "What's the frequency Keneth?"

Find the story here: http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20010619.html

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Sticky The Stickman

TaiModan

I was walking in a park one day with my GF of the time, when this kid walks up to me and says "Jesus loves you." then walked away. thats it.

Loki

i giggled like a schoolgirl on methamphetamines when i read that.

Hugo A Go Go

Gumby free(just say no!)
I guess it's the ol' "You had to have been there" thing.
Actually,schizophrenics say the damndest things,when you reflect on them later and realize what they were trying to say(in context to what was happening) it's very surrealistic yet makes bizarre sense.
Some of the stories in this thread sound like the posters have had an encounter with these people.

Arock

I was leaving the parking lot of a Grateful Dead concert that had just ended, and as was the case for a lot of shows it was a bit chaotic. As I was darting my eyes around for my friends I locked eyes with this little hippie tweeker chick. Granted I was on my way down from a little trip but I was cool now. Anyway she was really weird looking, and I couldn't break our eye contact - tractor beam city. Well she walked the 10 feet distance between us, never breaking eye contact, and said, "Do you have any spare brain particles?" Then my friends got my attention and pulled me back to earth and we headed to the car.
Maybe it was par for the course for a Dead show, but it tripped me out.

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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat

LuFega

A girl caught me staring at her once. Well, I wasn't really staring at her. I was in class and I was spaced out staring at a direction where she happened to be standing. She call me "creepy." I took offense to that.

rat

I walk into the kitchen at work (work in a seafood house), and I must have interrupted something because the guy talking looks at me and says

"Well, by god son, I'll be a two-peckered nannygoat..."

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SexyCat

Shorty after I met my boyfriend in college I met his roommate. The first thing the roommate said was something like this:

"I have a big black joystick, it vibrates."

Now to give the guy some credit he was playing a computer game, but still...

qpid

funniest line eva

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My army will take over the world join us or be destroyed. I am the Emperor Supreme
Join the Revolution!

Necrophilia - The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one

Hugo A Go Go

Regarding random mutterings and schizophrenia...
A "low-brow" type of moment:
Early 1980s,in San Francisco on my honeymoon.
Coming out of a bakery i was approached by an obviously homeless woman with the tell tale gleam of lunacy in her eyes.
Staring at me she asked,in an almost frantic tone"Are you from the Red Zone?"
Pissed at having my idyllic days off interrupted,I stared back and in a Nicholson-esque dead pan delivery said"No. We're from the Orange Zone.(dramatic pause...)And we KNOW."
20 years later,I can still see the look of terror in her face,and I feel like a world class asshole.

rat

Hugo, you're now one of my heros

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Ogre840

any time i talk to my friend chad its a riot... he comes up with the most anane(sp?) things ever.... BlueMidgetGuy is his s/n on aol if you wanna find out what im talking about...

he wont mind.

pickledaddy

"So you're a scientologist."

And I'm not a scientologist.

onetime2

Got a few:

1. Similar to yours, a few of us were working on a farm when we saw one of the clerks from the farm store come in to work. One guy says he'd like to fill her up with enough cum that she'll float across Lake Michigan. I guess it's because semen can swim? I don't know.

2 & 3. Both from a drunken friend in college.

2. While talking about which people on our floor we liked or disliked, one person's name came up which brought out this comment from my friend: "He's not even half a duck!" After he sobered up and we asked him what he was talking about he thought about it for a few days before he finally realized he was talking about him being short. Apparently when he was a kid he went to an amusement park that had a duck with an outstretched wing at a certain height to decide which kids were big enough to go on the ride. So, this guy wasn't even half a duck so he wasn't worth shit.

3. Same drunken friend, same night came out with some statement about a "point three draft". After more than ten years he still has no idea what he was talking about.

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Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

Eweser

while eating a sandwich at my grandmother's house, my mom is staring out of the window and says "I love the airport." we weren't talking about anything that remotely resembled an airport. we won't let her live it down.

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"Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

frogger27

My sister and I were at Wal Mart and we were looking at pans. I picked up one and said, "Oh no! Who's feeding Mary's pigs?"

gnort

Drunken friend: "MY LEGS ARE ATTACHED TO MY FEET!"

Another drunken friend: "If I lick this will i die?"

Incidentilly both of these quotes came from the same party.

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You had me at Qapla'

Eweser

That was great!

Vyk

hot chick who walked up to me at a party:

"nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

lucky for me, she was serious. haha

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"Courage of the heart is very rare"

kms31668

...................Hello

tinfoil

Some guy walked up to me while in the local mall and said:

"Cookies"

and walked away.

So, it's either that or Phred's Llama / Duck rant.

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Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.

Averett

I just laughed so hard at this....

We were on the way out to the bar, and stopped at a Wendys first for some food. My friend David is in the pasenger seat next to me, and he leans over me to talk to the guy at the take-out window. He says:

"You see this girl here? She gives the most phenominal head."

Completly random. Especially since I've never gone there with him... This now comes up all the time when I'm around him. He decided to tell everyone within sight a few weeks back. Including a bum on the street, who proceeded to follow us to the bar. Creepy...

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Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

Beltruckus

Back when I was in highschool my friends and I would randomly yell out MMMMMMBBOOONERR you have to get the long m, that was pretty funny at the time, although now it seems kinda lame.

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The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings. Words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. -Stephen King