Tell me, how do YOU wipe your ass? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Meridae'n · 06-15-2003, 04:21 PM

Well, how?

Do you scruch or fold the paper?

I personally think you get more value for your wipe if you scrunch, but that's just me. I want the cold hard stats...

GakFace · 06-15-2003, 04:22 PM

scrunch it. easier than delicately folding it. No problems here.

rockzilla · 06-15-2003, 04:57 PM

I'm a scruncher

Angel · 06-15-2003, 06:19 PM

*And she wonders what is the point*
And yet I am compeled to answer this "WTF" question!
So, while shaking my head and saying to myself I can't believe ANYBODY would care as to how I wipe my ass...I answer you...
I'm a scruncher....
Did anybody get anything out of that?
I have a feeling this is going to turn into one of those funny, can't seem to turn my head threads...

richeee · 06-15-2003, 07:00 PM

Meridae'n kind of lied... he learned how to wipe his ass by watching a toy poodle scoot around the carpet! He says it saves on the high cost of toilet paper!

guthmund · 06-15-2003, 08:03 PM

I'm not sure how to answer.....

I'm more of a scruncher, but I fan out the edges to get more wiping surface so it looks kinda folded as well.....

Maybe I'll just mark "other"

I'd think a good follow up question would be "Which hand do you favor while wiping your ass?"

I'm a righty

YourNeverThere · 06-15-2003, 08:04 PM

gooooood ol'scrunching

Meridae'n · 06-15-2003, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by richeee
Meridae'n kind of lied... he learned how to wipe his ass by watching a toy poodle scoot around the carpet! He says it saves on the high cost of toilet paper!

Hey! You shouldn't be telling everyone my secrets here...

@Angel: does there have to be a point? Is there a point to everything on here?

BTW this came from a drunken conversation on Saturday night. One of my mates folds, uses his left hand to wipe from up to down, all this while reaching from between his legs! Needless to say, he was jeered at for the remainder of the evening...

I was wondering if there were any other of 'his kind' out there...

Stiltzkin · 06-15-2003, 10:09 PM

Meh. Righty. I fold, but messily, nothing "delicate", just quick and dirty

Meridae'n · 06-15-2003, 10:35 PM

I always knew you were a folder Stiltzkin...

uncle phil · 06-16-2003, 03:21 AM

on a similar topic in v.3, i made the following observation...who gives a shit...

Fremen · 06-16-2003, 07:06 AM

I use a stick, as previously said in v3.

Giant Hamburger · 06-16-2003, 07:39 AM

I prefer pure, all-cleansing fire

I guess, in a pinch, I could print out this thread.
I would then scruntch it,
-GH

Mango · 06-16-2003, 07:41 AM

I don't bother.

Sticky · 06-16-2003, 07:52 AM

We've done this in this version (http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...&threadid=3785) Fold won 52% to 45%.

We will eventually get to people talking about Bidets.

...and I fold.

LittleOralAnnie · 06-16-2003, 12:00 PM

Not that it matters but Scrunch

Meridae'n · 06-16-2003, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by uncle phil
on a similar topic in v.3, i made the following observation...who gives a shit...

Oh yeah it was too... hang on, not all of us were here when v.3 was going

dimbulb · 06-16-2003, 07:04 PM

i fold... wait... what exactly is scrunchin???

cowudders14 · 06-17-2003, 02:23 AM

I'm a conservative brit (I'm not talking politics - I wouldn't vote tory if you paid me) so I fold...

GoldenOuroboros · 06-17-2003, 02:34 AM

a few sea shells

Pyrate · 06-17-2003, 05:00 AM

Scrunching is nice and quick. Folding requires you to do some origami shite, just to wipe you backside with the work of art you have just made....

crackpot · 06-17-2003, 05:54 AM

Go on the roof, do a handstand, and wait for the rain.

Ashton · 06-17-2003, 06:05 AM

I have one of those high tech japanese toilets that wipe your ass for you..... it even has a high speed conection to teh net.

HiThereDear · 06-17-2003, 02:36 PM

you're supposed to wipe??

ninety09 · 08-01-2003, 01:00 PM

folded..

pangavan · 08-01-2003, 01:00 PM

Now for the tough question:

When you replace the roll does it hang from the front or the back?

theguyondacouch · 08-01-2003, 02:31 PM

spoon

grumpyolddude · 08-01-2003, 02:41 PM

Like the bear in the old joke, grab any nearby bunny.

Fremen · 08-01-2003, 10:52 PM

Letting it dry makes it all crumbly....

muckluck · 08-02-2003, 10:00 AM

i fold it then i scrunch it. This sounds like something out of Seinfeld

NetterButter · 08-02-2003, 10:03 AM

continuously roll around my hand until there is only about 4 squares left on the roll and not bother to refill so that the next person...muahahaa

Fly · 08-02-2003, 10:28 AM

this is how i put it in the thread sticky refered too.

okay...insert left thumb into toilet paper tube.
grasp outer layer of "charmen"with index,middle,ring and pinky fingers.
hold firmly...
grab 1st "ticket" with right hand and in a forward motion..complete "3" revolutions around your left hand holding the roll.
tear "ticket" at nearest perforation and wipe away.

*wonders why this is amuseing*

TIO · 08-02-2003, 10:38 AM

Trust an Ozzie to start this thread! But you spelled 'arse' wrong.

Force 10 · 08-02-2003, 07:17 PM

I fold... very percise I might add...

tardka · 08-02-2003, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pangavan
Now for the tough question:

When you replace the roll does it hang from the front or the back?

Oh god, from the front. If I ever see it from the back I make sure whoever was responsible gives a good explaination or else a beating is to be had. Can't tear the squares well when it hangs from the back.

crow_daw · 08-02-2003, 09:31 PM

Just another scruncher here.

jujueye · 08-02-2003, 10:18 PM

both....really! fold and scrunch. fold it a few times to get surface area, then scrunch for grip, wipe with right hand.

Another question, and one that might be interesting: do you use your dominant hand? For instance, if you are right handed, do you wipe with your left or right? I am right handed, and right wipe. I broke my wrist once (right hand) and had to learn to wipe left...weird, it was.

By the way: I can't believe I'm posting to a thread like this....LOL. ONLY, and I do mean ONLY on TFP!!!!!!!!!

View Poll Results: How do you prepare your paper?
Fold	31	43.66%
Scrunch	31	43.66%
Other... please specify (this should be good)	9	12.68%
Voters: 71. You may not vote on this poll

06-15-2003, 04:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	Tell me, how do YOU wipe your ass? Well, how? Do you scruch or fold the paper? I personally think you get more value for your wipe if you scrunch, but that's just me. I want the cold hard stats... __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

06-15-2003, 04:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
GakFace Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!! Location: IN, USA	scrunch it. easier than delicately folding it. No problems here. __________________ RoboBlaster: Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

06-15-2003, 06:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	And she wonders what is the point And yet I am compeled to answer this "WTF" question! So, while shaking my head and saying to myself I can't believe ANYBODY would care as to how I wipe my ass...I answer you... I'm a scruncher.... Did anybody get anything out of that? I have a feeling this is going to turn into one of those funny, can't seem to turn my head threads... __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

06-15-2003, 07:00 PM	#5 (permalink)
richeee Go Packers! (sigh!) Location: The Lovely Emerald City	Meridae'n kind of lied... he learned how to wipe his ass by watching a toy poodle scoot around the carpet! He says it saves on the high cost of toilet paper! __________________ Pas le cri, le coeur de Minx! .... Where can I stare now?.........I did!!!What about You?

06-15-2003, 04:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	I'm a scruncher

06-15-2003, 08:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	I'm not sure how to answer..... I'm more of a scruncher, but I fan out the edges to get more wiping surface so it looks kinda folded as well..... Maybe I'll just mark "other" I'd think a good follow up question would be "Which hand do you favor while wiping your ass?" I'm a righty __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

06-15-2003, 08:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
YourNeverThere Practical Anarchist Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood	gooooood ol'scrunching __________________ The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

06-15-2003, 10:09 PM	#9 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	Meh. Righty. I fold, but messily, nothing "delicate", just quick and dirty __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

06-15-2003, 10:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	I always knew you were a folder Stiltzkin... __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

06-16-2003, 03:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	on a similar topic in v.3, i made the following observation...who gives a shit... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-16-2003, 07:06 AM	#12 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	I use a stick, as previously said in v3. __________________ Google

06-16-2003, 07:39 AM	#13 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	I prefer pure, all-cleansing fire I guess, in a pinch, I could print out this thread. I would then scruntch it, -GH

06-16-2003, 07:41 AM	#14 (permalink)
Mango Banned	I don't bother.

06-16-2003, 07:52 AM	#15 (permalink)
Sticky	We've done this in this version (http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...&threadid=3785) Fold won 52% to 45%. We will eventually get to people talking about Bidets. ...and I fold. __________________ Sticky The Stickman

06-17-2003, 02:34 AM	#20 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	a few sea shells __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

06-17-2003, 02:36 PM	#24 (permalink)
HiThereDear Insane	you're supposed to wipe??

08-01-2003, 01:00 PM	#25 (permalink)
ninety09 Flavour of the Weak Location: Canada	folded..

08-01-2003, 02:31 PM	#27 (permalink)
theguyondacouch salmon? Location: Outside Providence	spoon __________________ "Lick my frozen metal ass!"

06-16-2003, 12:00 PM	#16 (permalink)
LittleOralAnnie Banned	Not that it matters but Scrunch

06-16-2003, 07:04 PM	#18 (permalink)
dimbulb Riiiiight........	i fold... wait... what exactly is scrunchin???

06-17-2003, 02:23 AM	#19 (permalink)
cowudders14 Bringer of good Moos... Location: Midlands, UK	I'm a conservative brit (I'm not talking politics - I wouldn't vote tory if you paid me) so I fold... __________________ Moo! I'm mooey!

06-17-2003, 05:00 AM	#21 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	Scrunching is nice and quick. Folding requires you to do some origami shite, just to wipe you backside with the work of art you have just made.... __________________ ?

06-17-2003, 05:54 AM	#22 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	Go on the roof, do a handstand, and wait for the rain.

06-17-2003, 06:05 AM	#23 (permalink)
Ashton PORNHOUND Location: California	I have one of those high tech japanese toilets that wipe your ass for you..... it even has a high speed conection to teh net.

08-01-2003, 01:00 PM	#26 (permalink)
pangavan Insane Location: cleveland, OH	Now for the tough question: When you replace the roll does it hang from the front or the back? __________________ He is, moreover, a frequent drunkard, a glutton, and a patron of ladies who are no better than they should be.

08-01-2003, 02:41 PM	#28 (permalink)
grumpyolddude Deliberately unfocused Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby	Like the bear in the old joke, grab any nearby bunny. __________________ "Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

08-01-2003, 10:52 PM	#29 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Letting it dry makes it all crumbly.... __________________ Google

08-02-2003, 10:00 AM	#30 (permalink)
muckluck Psycho	i fold it then i scrunch it. This sounds like something out of Seinfeld __________________

08-02-2003, 10:03 AM	#31 (permalink)
NetterButter Crazy Location: in a hole, ventura county,cali	continuously roll around my hand until there is only about 4 squares left on the roll and not bother to refill so that the next person...muahahaa __________________ www.holeinthe.net

08-02-2003, 10:28 AM	#32 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	this is how i put it in the thread sticky refered too. okay...insert left thumb into toilet paper tube. grasp outer layer of "charmen"with index,middle,ring and pinky fingers. hold firmly... grab 1st "ticket" with right hand and in a forward motion..complete "3" revolutions around your left hand holding the roll. tear "ticket" at nearest perforation and wipe away. wonders why this is amuseing __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

08-02-2003, 10:38 AM	#33 (permalink)
TIO Addict Location: The Land Down Under	Trust an Ozzie to start this thread! But you spelled 'arse' wrong. __________________ Strewth

08-02-2003, 07:17 PM	#34 (permalink)
Force 10 Had to leave this awesome space	I fold... very percise I might add...

08-02-2003, 09:31 PM	#36 (permalink)
crow_daw Idolator Location: Vol Country	Just another scruncher here. __________________ "We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

08-02-2003, 10:18 PM	#37 (permalink)
jujueye alpaca lunch for the trip Location: in my computer	both....really! fold and scrunch. fold it a few times to get surface area, then scrunch for grip, wipe with right hand. Another question, and one that might be interesting: do you use your dominant hand? For instance, if you are right handed, do you wipe with your left or right? I am right handed, and right wipe. I broke my wrist once (right hand) and had to learn to wipe left...weird, it was. By the way: I can't believe I'm posting to a thread like this....LOL. ONLY, and I do mean ONLY on TFP!!!!!!!!!