lindalove

"Fred couldn't remember if dingleberries were poisonous"

Crack

Fred hadn't had sex in a very long time, needless to say, his standards were beginning to lower...

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Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx

lindalove

"Is there a squirrel living in you? 'Cause I can clearly see your nuts"

Ch'i

Mother of God.....

Grasshopper Green

That gives a new meaning to the "grASS is greener on the other side of the fence!"

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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

Charlatan

Hmmm... I wonder if need a condom? Don't wanna catch Dutch Elm Disease.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

lindalove

"Hello? A-1 landscaping? I wanted a naked LADY, assholes! A lady! No, I don't care if it's Pride week; I'm not celebrating!"

ngdawg

"Am I supposed to kiss it, fuck it or eat it? (damn, I think I got wood!)"

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Ch'i

"This is the best Christmas ever."

Elphaba

Fred knew instinctively that Barney intended an insult. Fred had little else other than instinct.

_God_

"Fred had been a nature lover until that unfortunate incident involving the dog with a large bladder."

Lady Sage

"He might be ready, but I'm not easy"

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If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.

bernadette

"Fred covets his neighbor's wife's bush."

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.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

lindalove

"Larry found himself strangely aroused while looking at his neighbor's neatly trimmed bush."

Aro23

fred: goodthing this fence isn't high enough!

Intense1

Yeesh, Tequila, never again!

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(none yet, still thinkin')

Disco Stu

I guess its time to mow the rectum

lindalove

"Mr. Dibley waited four months to moon his neighbor, yet when the guy finaly returned from his vaction, it was already too late, the grass has gotten the better of him."