The Big Fat Lies Thread - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Krycheck · 06-08-2003, 09:28 PM

Post any lies you can think of. I'll start.

Hal is hung like a Tic Tac

madsenj37 · 06-08-2003, 09:44 PM

Krycheck sounds smart.

vermin · 06-08-2003, 11:35 PM

The Tlarup Bird of South America makes little parachutes out of leaves for it's babies before they learn to fly.

Xiomar · 06-08-2003, 11:57 PM

Im a freakin' hottie

myMHz · 06-09-2003, 12:10 AM

The Government is honest.

uncle phil · 06-09-2003, 03:34 AM

i'll respect you in the morning...

*Nikki* · 06-09-2003, 04:11 AM

Bill Gates is broke.

paddyjoe · 06-09-2003, 04:20 AM

Brad phoned *Nikki* last night.

KWSN · 06-09-2003, 05:12 AM

KWSN is one bad, breakdancin' mofo.

BoCo · 06-09-2003, 05:37 AM

I haven't masturbated in years.

cheese · 06-09-2003, 06:16 AM

IRC Chat i fun

Stiltzkin · 06-09-2003, 07:09 AM

I have sex every day.

Minx · 06-09-2003, 07:13 AM

Here's two classics for you....

Cheque's in the mail
and
Of course I won't cum in your mouth!

Thraeryn · 06-09-2003, 08:39 AM

The woman pictured in my avatar is me.

rockogre · 06-09-2003, 08:52 AM

Of course I love you baby, it's not about the sex.

Troublebot · 06-09-2003, 10:31 AM

I'm interested in everything you say.

I'm not staring at your tits.

Bob Biter · 06-09-2003, 12:33 PM

I'm not going to ogle at 18 y-o HS girls when in Japan.

GSRIDER · 06-09-2003, 12:53 PM

I'm hoping Bob Biter doesn't bring back picks from his trip in japan and download them for all to see.

I'm also very thrilled with my job... and it shows

uncle phil · 06-09-2003, 12:55 PM

this is the best invention since sliced bread...

Stiltzkin · 06-09-2003, 01:10 PM

God is in His Heaven, all is right with the World.

Giant Hamburger · 06-09-2003, 01:24 PM

Dear Friends,

GREETINGs!
I presume this post will not be a surprise to you. Through the courtesy of this business
opportunity, I am Giant Hamburger, and surviving offspring of the late General
Doublemeat Hamburger of Nabimbia,who died in 2001 due to unsuspected volcano.
May his souls rest in peace! My father was our nation’s Minister of Delicious Food. To his mournful family he left in unclaimed contractuals proceeds totaling $ A VERY LARGE NUMBER
from a livestock deal with the Finance Minister of Monrovia. Due to war currently in the first country I mentioned, it is not safely put my family investment here. Our ultra super expensive
properties have been closed down, and the money is in discreet keepings of various parastatals. That's right, parrastatals.
Your Business and name of honesty were given in confidence by the Tilted Forim Project (ForeignTrade Division). Information regarding the viability of your Business concern gingered me into soliciting for you. Mother Burger seriously advised me to move these funds into overseas account—all we require is a willing foreign partner. Your nether areas of specialisation will not be a hinderance to the successful actualising of this transaction. Upon transfer of this beneficiary sum into the Bank Account in your Country, you will retain 43 percent of the total sum, and 7.5 percent will be set aside to take care of such incidental expenses. Also, 23 percent will be plunged deeply into your Business concern for purposes of high-profile investment. The rest shall be used to settle my family’s advanced stage of relocation to YET ANOTHER COUNTRY
for asylum. For your information, my aggrieved mother burger has the blessing of this Business modality. It is pertinent to state here that our transaction is based on faith, and for the safety the burger family, I appeal that you keep this with Top Secret.

I have abundant flavor, and your immediate response will be appreciated and all remittance
concerning this excellent transaction swung into action. Also we request your private and office phone number to open communication with you. Please, note that there are troubles or dangers involved.
Yours famously,
Giant Hamburger

Arock · 06-09-2003, 03:52 PM

The Redwings are awesome

Meridae'n · 06-09-2003, 03:52 PM

I wouldn't even know what pornography is

Stiltzkin · 06-09-2003, 06:36 PM

Every day is a happy day for me.

Jaiddin · 06-09-2003, 08:27 PM

I love my job

Jeff · 06-09-2003, 09:04 PM

Giant Hamburger's post was not odd.
I wouldn't bone Britney Spears if presented with the opportunity.

Somenosuke · 06-09-2003, 10:16 PM

I don't have issues.

DelayedReaction · 06-09-2003, 10:20 PM

I have a 12" pianist.

Meridae'n · 06-09-2003, 10:20 PM

Savage Garden are Australia's greatest export

uncle phil · 06-10-2003, 03:18 AM

whatever it is, i didn't do it...and i'll never do it again...

Bob Biter · 06-10-2003, 04:54 AM

I do not fantisize about nailing our receptionist or any of our nubile, dressed-down marketing chicks.

crackpot · 06-10-2003, 04:59 AM

I don't want a job at Bob Biter's place of work.

Midlandmadman · 06-10-2003, 06:24 AM

I LOVE CHEESE!!!!!!!

Midlandmadman · 06-10-2003, 06:25 AM

oh and I dont suck at basketball!!!!!

rockogre · 06-10-2003, 06:54 AM

I was nowhere near aisle five.

Bob Biter · 06-10-2003, 06:57 AM

I use olive oil solely for cooking purposes.

Tophat665 · 06-10-2003, 07:33 AM

I find my Job deeply fulfilling.

When I walk into my house, I scrape the pyramids off my boots.

I play frisbee with Yog-Sothoth and dice with Chthulhu. I always win.

My pet shuggoth is a bit off color this morning; guess I shouldn't have beaten him so badly when he ate the Mormons.

I have more talent in my smallest finger than any of you have in your entire bodies.

My real name is Aloysious, but all my buddies call me Lord and Master.

I only come here for the discussion forums.

I believe that George W. Bush is the finest president this country has ever had, and that he acts purely in the national interest, for he is a good man, a moral man, a man of character, and a supra-genius.

Tom Green is a laugh riot.

Nixon got a raw deal.

Damnit! Just tripped over my dick again.

OK, that's more than enough.

Pyrate · 06-10-2003, 08:52 AM

I'm a 'Four-Legged-Two-Dicked-Mega-Mecha-Harpie' from the Nether Dimensions, of the subtropical species.

uncle phil · 06-10-2003, 01:43 PM

some other dude did it...

manalone · 06-10-2003, 02:35 PM

I invented the internet.

No, wait, that was Al gore.

06-08-2003, 09:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Krycheck Sultana ruined my evil persona Location: Los Angeles	The Big Fat Lies Thread Post any lies you can think of. I'll start. Hal is hung like a Tic Tac __________________ His pants are tight...but his morals are loose!!

06-08-2003, 09:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
madsenj37 Still searching... Location: NorCal For Life	Krycheck sounds smart. __________________ "Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe." -- Albert Einstein

06-08-2003, 11:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
vermin Indifferent to anti-matter Location: Tucson, AZ	The Tlarup Bird of South America makes little parachutes out of leaves for it's babies before they learn to fly. __________________ If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

06-09-2003, 12:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
myMHz Insane Location: Arizona	The Government is honest. __________________ "The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

06-09-2003, 03:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	i'll respect you in the morning... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-08-2003, 11:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
Xiomar Psycho Location: Bay Area, California	Im a freakin' hottie

06-09-2003, 04:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Bill Gates is broke.

06-09-2003, 04:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	Brad phoned Nikki last night.

06-09-2003, 05:12 AM	#9 (permalink)
KWSN green	KWSN is one bad, breakdancin' mofo. __________________ Your arms are broken!

06-09-2003, 05:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
BoCo Fear the bunny Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing	I haven't masturbated in years. __________________ Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

06-09-2003, 06:16 AM	#11 (permalink)
cheese Psycho Location: In your bath tub with all your other rubber toys	IRC Chat i fun

06-09-2003, 07:09 AM	#12 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	I have sex every day. __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

06-09-2003, 07:13 AM	#13 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	Here's two classics for you.... Cheque's in the mail and Of course I won't cum in your mouth! __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

06-09-2003, 08:39 AM	#14 (permalink)
Thraeryn Loser	The woman pictured in my avatar is me.

06-09-2003, 08:52 AM	#15 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	Of course I love you baby, it's not about the sex. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

06-09-2003, 03:52 PM	#23 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	I wouldn't even know what pornography is __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

06-09-2003, 08:27 PM	#25 (permalink)
Jaiddin Crazy Location: Dallas TX	I love my job

06-09-2003, 09:04 PM	#26 (permalink)
Jeff And we'll all float on ok... Location: Iowa City	Giant Hamburger's post was not odd. I wouldn't bone Britney Spears if presented with the opportunity. __________________ For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. --Charles Bukowski

06-09-2003, 10:20 PM	#28 (permalink)
DelayedReaction BFG Builder Location: University of Maryland	I have a 12" pianist. __________________ If ignorance is bliss, you must be having an orgasm.

06-09-2003, 10:31 AM	#16 (permalink)
Troublebot Intently Rocking Location: Davey's	I'm interested in everything you say. I'm not staring at your tits. __________________ Howard Moon: The wind is my only friend. Wind: [whistling] I hate you.

06-09-2003, 12:33 PM	#17 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	I'm not going to ogle at 18 y-o HS girls when in Japan. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

06-09-2003, 12:53 PM	#18 (permalink)
GSRIDER spurt king Location: Out of my mind	I'm hoping Bob Biter doesn't bring back picks from his trip in japan and download them for all to see. I'm also very thrilled with my job... and it shows __________________ No signature at this time.

06-09-2003, 12:55 PM	#19 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	this is the best invention since sliced bread... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-09-2003, 01:10 PM	#20 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	God is in His Heaven, all is right with the World. __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

06-09-2003, 01:24 PM	#21 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Dear Friends, GREETINGs! I presume this post will not be a surprise to you. Through the courtesy of this business opportunity, I am Giant Hamburger, and surviving offspring of the late General Doublemeat Hamburger of Nabimbia,who died in 2001 due to unsuspected volcano. May his souls rest in peace! My father was our nation’s Minister of Delicious Food. To his mournful family he left in unclaimed contractuals proceeds totaling $ A VERY LARGE NUMBER from a livestock deal with the Finance Minister of Monrovia. Due to war currently in the first country I mentioned, it is not safely put my family investment here. Our ultra super expensive properties have been closed down, and the money is in discreet keepings of various parastatals. That's right, parrastatals. Your Business and name of honesty were given in confidence by the Tilted Forim Project (ForeignTrade Division). Information regarding the viability of your Business concern gingered me into soliciting for you. Mother Burger seriously advised me to move these funds into overseas account—all we require is a willing foreign partner. Your nether areas of specialisation will not be a hinderance to the successful actualising of this transaction. Upon transfer of this beneficiary sum into the Bank Account in your Country, you will retain 43 percent of the total sum, and 7.5 percent will be set aside to take care of such incidental expenses. Also, 23 percent will be plunged deeply into your Business concern for purposes of high-profile investment. The rest shall be used to settle my family’s advanced stage of relocation to YET ANOTHER COUNTRY for asylum. For your information, my aggrieved mother burger has the blessing of this Business modality. It is pertinent to state here that our transaction is based on faith, and for the safety the burger family, I appeal that you keep this with Top Secret. I have abundant flavor, and your immediate response will be appreciated and all remittance concerning this excellent transaction swung into action. Also we request your private and office phone number to open communication with you. Please, note that there are troubles or dangers involved. Yours famously, Giant Hamburger

06-09-2003, 03:52 PM	#22 (permalink)
Arock Crazy Location: Center Ice	The Redwings are awesome __________________ The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat

06-09-2003, 06:36 PM	#24 (permalink)
Stiltzkin Junkie	Every day is a happy day for me. __________________ The most important thing in this world is love.

06-09-2003, 10:16 PM	#27 (permalink)
Somenosuke Insane Location: The 7th Level..	I don't have issues. __________________ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

06-09-2003, 10:20 PM	#29 (permalink)
Meridae'n Loose Cunt Location: North Bondi RSL	Savage Garden are Australia's greatest export __________________ What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

06-10-2003, 03:18 AM	#30 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	whatever it is, i didn't do it...and i'll never do it again... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

06-10-2003, 04:54 AM	#31 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	I do not fantisize about nailing our receptionist or any of our nubile, dressed-down marketing chicks. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

06-10-2003, 04:59 AM	#32 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	I don't want a job at Bob Biter's place of work.

06-10-2003, 06:24 AM	#33 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	I LOVE CHEESE!!!!!!! __________________ Its good to be back.

06-10-2003, 06:25 AM	#34 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	oh and I dont suck at basketball!!!!! __________________ Its good to be back.

06-10-2003, 06:54 AM	#35 (permalink)
rockogre I aim to misbehave! Location: SW Oklahoma	I was nowhere near aisle five. __________________ Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G. I. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

06-10-2003, 06:57 AM	#36 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	I use olive oil solely for cooking purposes. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

06-10-2003, 07:33 AM	#37 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	I find my Job deeply fulfilling. When I walk into my house, I scrape the pyramids off my boots. I play frisbee with Yog-Sothoth and dice with Chthulhu. I always win. My pet shuggoth is a bit off color this morning; guess I shouldn't have beaten him so badly when he ate the Mormons. I have more talent in my smallest finger than any of you have in your entire bodies. My real name is Aloysious, but all my buddies call me Lord and Master. I only come here for the discussion forums. I believe that George W. Bush is the finest president this country has ever had, and that he acts purely in the national interest, for he is a good man, a moral man, a man of character, and a supra-genius. Tom Green is a laugh riot. Nixon got a raw deal. Damnit! Just tripped over my dick again. OK, that's more than enough. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

06-10-2003, 08:52 AM	#38 (permalink)
Pyrate Psycho Location: London, CorBlimeyLand	I'm a 'Four-Legged-Two-Dicked-Mega-Mecha-Harpie' from the Nether Dimensions, of the subtropical species. __________________ ?

06-10-2003, 01:43 PM	#39 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	some other dude did it... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.