The Big Fat Lies Thread
 

Post any lies you can think of. I'll start.

Hal is hung like a Tic Tac :D

Krycheck sounds smart.

The Tlarup Bird of South America makes little parachutes out of leaves for it's babies before they learn to fly.

Im a freakin' hottie :)

The Government is honest.

i'll respect you in the morning...

Bill Gates is broke.

Brad phoned *Nikki* last night.

KWSN is one bad, breakdancin' mofo.

I haven't masturbated in years.

IRC Chat i fun :)

I have sex every day.

Here's two classics for you....

Cheque's in the mail
and
Of course I won't cum in your mouth!

The woman pictured in my avatar is me. ;)

Of course I love you baby, it's not about the sex.

I'm interested in everything you say.

I'm not staring at your tits.

I'm not going to ogle at 18 y-o HS girls when in Japan.

I'm hoping Bob Biter doesn't bring back picks from his trip in japan and download them for all to see.

I'm also very thrilled with my job... and it shows

this is the best invention since sliced bread...

God is in His Heaven, all is right with the World.

Dear Friends,

GREETINGs!
I presume this post will not be a surprise to you. Through the courtesy of this business
opportunity, I am Giant Hamburger, and surviving offspring of the late General
Doublemeat Hamburger of Nabimbia,who died in 2001 due to unsuspected volcano.
May his souls rest in peace! My father was our nation’s Minister of Delicious Food. To his mournful family he left in unclaimed contractuals proceeds totaling $ A VERY LARGE NUMBER
from a livestock deal with the Finance Minister of Monrovia. Due to war currently in the first country I mentioned, it is not safely put my family investment here. Our ultra super expensive
properties have been closed down, and the money is in discreet keepings of various parastatals. That's right, parrastatals.
Your Business and name of honesty were given in confidence by the Tilted Forim Project (ForeignTrade Division). Information regarding the viability of your Business concern gingered me into soliciting for you. Mother Burger seriously advised me to move these funds into overseas account—all we require is a willing foreign partner. Your nether areas of specialisation will not be a hinderance to the successful actualising of this transaction. Upon transfer of this beneficiary sum into the Bank Account in your Country, you will retain 43 percent of the total sum, and 7.5 percent will be set aside to take care of such incidental expenses. Also, 23 percent will be plunged deeply into your Business concern for purposes of high-profile investment. The rest shall be used to settle my family’s advanced stage of relocation to YET ANOTHER COUNTRY
for asylum. For your information, my aggrieved mother burger has the blessing of this Business modality. It is pertinent to state here that our transaction is based on faith, and for the safety the burger family, I appeal that you keep this with Top Secret.

I have abundant flavor, and your immediate response will be appreciated and all remittance
concerning this excellent transaction swung into action. Also we request your private and office phone number to open communication with you. Please, note that there are troubles or dangers involved.
Yours famously,
Giant Hamburger

The Redwings are awesome

I wouldn't even know what pornography is

Every day is a happy day for me.

I love my job

Giant Hamburger's post was not odd.
I wouldn't bone Britney Spears if presented with the opportunity.

I have a 12" pianist.

Savage Garden are Australia's greatest export

whatever it is, i didn't do it...and i'll never do it again...

I do not fantisize about nailing our receptionist or any of our nubile, dressed-down marketing chicks.

I don't want a job at Bob Biter's place of work.

I LOVE CHEESE!!!!!!!

oh and I dont suck at basketball!!!!!

I was nowhere near aisle five.

I use olive oil solely for cooking purposes.

I find my Job deeply fulfilling.

When I walk into my house, I scrape the pyramids off my boots.

I play frisbee with Yog-Sothoth and dice with Chthulhu. I always win.

My pet shuggoth is a bit off color this morning; guess I shouldn't have beaten him so badly when he ate the Mormons.

I have more talent in my smallest finger than any of you have in your entire bodies.

My real name is Aloysious, but all my buddies call me Lord and Master.

I only come here for the discussion forums.

I believe that George W. Bush is the finest president this country has ever had, and that he acts purely in the national interest, for he is a good man, a moral man, a man of character, and a supra-genius.

Tom Green is a laugh riot.

Nixon got a raw deal.

Damnit! Just tripped over my dick again.

OK, that's more than enough.

I'm a 'Four-Legged-Two-Dicked-Mega-Mecha-Harpie' from the Nether Dimensions, of the subtropical species.

some other dude did it...

I invented the internet.

No, wait, that was Al gore.