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Old 06-26-2006, 04:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
32 flavors and then some
 
Gilda's Avatar
 
Location: Out on a wire.
Calling in __________ to work.

I saw this in the living forever thread, and it made me think of something, but it didn't fit in that thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poppinjay
Some days I'd like to call in 9.

"I'm sorry, I can't come to work today, I'm nine years old. Well, nine and a half. I don't yet have the capacity to function as an adult, or care about adult worries or politics or the war in Iraq or deadlines or ISO 9000 or whatever that is. If you have any questions, I'll be at the playground.

I might be persuaded to come tomorrow if there will be dinosaur books and juice boxes."

It reminded me of this:

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: Hello, cant' work today, still queer."

Robin Tyler



What would your creative excuse be for not working?

Gilda
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Old 06-26-2006, 05:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
Devoted
 
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Donor
Location: New England
Not my original, but "Boss, I have rectal myopia. I just can't see my ass getting to work today".
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Old 06-26-2006, 05:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Deja Moo
 
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Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
"Boss, I've got the fever and I know someone with the cure."
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Old 06-27-2006, 11:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
alpaca lunch for the trip
 
jujueye's Avatar
 
Location: in my computer
""Boss, guess what?

I got a fever. And the only prescription, is more cowbell.

I'll be, uhm, staying home to get, ehr, more cowebell...."

kaf kaf
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Old 06-29-2006, 11:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
ARRRRRRRRRR
 
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Location: Stuart, Florida
I like calling in with The Scurvy. It just amuses me.
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Old 06-29-2006, 11:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
Non-Rookie
 
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Location: Green Bay, WI
Obviously a Joke, but...

Me: "Heya Boss, I'm feeling kinda ill today, I don't think I'm gonna make it in"
Boss: "I'll tell you what'll make you feel better - whenever I'm sick, I just has sex with the wife. Not long after, I feel much better"
Me: "Alright, I'll give it a try..."
***Shows up to work a few hours later***
Boss: "Ah, so it worked, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, it sure did - oh, by the way - Nice House"

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Just in case you were wondering...
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Old 07-03-2006, 09:33 AM   #7 (permalink)
777
drawn and redrawn
 
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Location: Some where in Southern California
Hi, can't come in today. The voices in my head told me to clean my guns.
__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny
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Old 07-07-2006, 05:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
Once, while I was in the Air Force, I called in - 'don't ask, don't tell'...

they were not amused
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~Halx
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Old 07-10-2006, 12:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
777
drawn and redrawn
 
777's Avatar
 
Location: Some where in Southern California
Hi, I'm feeling a little disgruntled today...

(Now if only I can find my joke files. It had a bunch of "Calling out" gags...)
__________________
"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip."

Roger Zelazny
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Old 07-10-2006, 10:10 AM   #10 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
Call off sick with Montezuma's Revenge. If someone asks what this is, start gurgling into the phone, shriek, and hang up. ...
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
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Old 07-11-2006, 02:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
I won't be coming into work today because I'm banging your wife
Ohhh zing.
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:51 AM   #12 (permalink)
Registered User
 
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Location: Right Here
I've been kidnapped and my captors say they're going to keep me for the next month. During that time you are to send my paycheck to ____________. If you comply I'll be released and be able to return to work.
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